Category Archives: Hope

No Depressed Anonymous meeting in your community? We have a solution.

We all know how depression works. It continually keeps us isolated and digging that hole just a little deeper. And one of the problems which we have is to find a group for those who want to be a member of our fellowship. We do have a solution.

We have enlarged our Home Study program so that anyone who wants to join and participate online can do so. We are now taking registrations (just mail us at [email protected] saying you want to be a participant.)

The first thing to do is go to our website at https://depressedanon.com and click onto Menu at HOME STUDY PROGRAM. Here you will be able to learn in more detail what the Home Study involves.

Secondly, there is an excellent testimonial from Kim at Newsletters (The Antidepressant Tablet Vol.1) about the benefits from her working the Steps with a sponsor. Clicking onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore will give you a better idea of what is involved.

We have members of our fellowship who are willing to provide assistance for those who want to use the Workbook and Manual for their own personal recovery. Hopefully this Home Study will enable them to start a group in their own community after having completed the work

There are no fees or dues for this sponsorship. But if your recovery is the most important priority then I do believe you will have a tried and true method of recovery, using the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps. If purchasing the two books is a problem for you, please let us know. The Publisher has made the two books available with Ebooks. All communication between sponsor and participant will take place via emails.

This is a commitment on your part if you want us to sponsor you. I personally have been in recovery for 35 years and this path has definitely given me peace, sobriety and serenity.

Hugh, for the Depressed Anonymous fellowship

We are never asked to “snap out of it”

It’s really amazing that I don’t get more depressed when I share with another human being. In fact, I get lighter and more hopeful about my life. I know people understand what I am feeling. These people who know depression never ask us to “snap out of it” and for that I am grateful.

What I am really looking at here are areas of my life that keep me down and depressed. My need is to be always in control causes an awful fear and gloom to come over me. I do not know their origin, just that they are present. I know that my defects of character can only be removed when I face up to them and prepare to make amends to myself and to others.

Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. (2002) Louisville, Ky. Pages 140-141.

DBT Grounding Techniques – Part 2 Distress Tolerance

Part 2: Distress Tolerance – Riding Out the Storm

When emotions become overwhelming, it can feel like you’re trapped in a tidal wave of distress. In these moments, it’s easy to fall into impulsive reactions that might bring short-term relief but create bigger problems in the long run. Distress tolerance is about getting through the moment safely—without making things worse.

These techniques won’t solve the underlying issue, but they will help you stay grounded, regain control, and make it to the other side with clarity. Let’s explore practical DBT strategies that can help you endure emotional intensity while keeping your well-being intact.

Distress tolerance focuses on managing emotional pain without resorting to harmful or impulsive behaviors. These skills are not about solving problems, but rather about enduring intense moments in a way that allows you to regain control. Below are grounding practices drawn from this module to help you survive difficult situations.

1. TIPP Skills: Physically Resetting Your Emotional State

The TIPP skills are designed to help regulate your body’s physical and emotional response to distress. By addressing your physiological state, you can interrupt the cycle of emotional overwhelmedness.

How to Practice TIPP:

  1. Temperature: This shocks your system and stimulates the dive reflex, which can lower your heart rate and help you feel calmer.
    • Use cold sensations to quickly reduce emotional intensity.
    • Example: Hold an ice cube in your hand, splash cold water on your face, or place a cold pack on the back of your neck.
  2. Intense Exercise: This releases endorphins, which naturally improve mood and reduce stress.
    • Engage in a brief burst of physical activity to channel nervous energy.
    • Example: Try jumping jacks, push-ups, running in place, or a brisk walk.
  3. Paced Breathing:
    • Focus on slowing your breath to calm your nervous system.
    • Example: Inhale deeply for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, and exhale slowly for 6-8 counts. Imagine each exhale as a release of tension, activating your parasympathetic “rest and digest” system.
  4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique reduces physical tension and signals safety to your brain.
    • Tense and relax muscle groups systematically, starting from your feet and moving upward to your head.
    • Example: Tense your feet for 5 seconds, release, and notice the relaxation. Then move to your calves, thighs, etc.

2. Self-Soothing Using the Five Senses

Self-soothing involves nurturing yourself by engaging your senses in comforting ways. This practice can help you feel grounded and cared for during moments of distress.

How to Practice:

  1. Touch:
    • Wrap yourself in a soft blanket, hold a stuffed animal, or apply lotion with a calming scent.
    • Feel the comforting texture and focus on the sensations.
  2. Taste:
    • Sip a warm cup of tea, savor a piece of chocolate, or chew mint gum.
    • Focus on the flavors and how they change with each bite or sip.
  3. Smell:
    • Light a scented candle, use essential oils, or smell something familiar and comforting, like freshly baked cookies or a favorite lotion.
  4. Sound:
    • Listen to calming music, nature sounds, or a playlist of songs that uplift you.
    • Pay attention to the rhythm, melody, or lyrics.
  5. Sight:
    • Look at soothing images, like photos of loved ones or nature scenes you like.
    • Focus on the colors, patterns, and details.

3. Distract with ACCEPTS: Redirecting Your Focus

ACCEPTS is an acronym for distraction techniques that help you shift your attention away from distressing emotions to regain control.

How to Practice ACCEPTS:

  1. Activities:
    • Engage in something productive or fun, like cleaning, painting, gardening, or watching a movie.
    • Keep your hands and mind busy.
  2. Contributing:
    • Shifting focus to others can provide a sense of purpose.
    • Example: Help someone else by volunteering, sending a kind message, or running an errand for a friend.
  3. Comparisons:
    • This helps reframe your mindset and build resilience.
    • Example: Compare your current situation to a past challenge you have overcome or think of someone who inspires you.
  4. Emotions:
    • By sparking new emotions, you can shift out of distress.
    • Example: Seek something that elicits a positive emotion or one that is different from what you are currently feeling, like watching a funny video or listening to upbeat music.
  5. Pushing Away:
    • Mentally set aside the problem for now. Visualize putting it in a box and “shelving” it.
    • Remind yourself you can return to it later when you feel more capable.
  6. Thoughts:
    • Intellectual focus can disrupt ruminative thoughts.
    • Example: Distract your mind by counting backward from 100 by sevens, solving a puzzle, or reading something engaging.
  7. Sensations:
    • Introduce a physical sensation to interrupt emotional overwhelm, like holding a stress ball, taking a hot shower, or chewing something crunchy.

Combining Practices

In moments of intense distress, you can layer these techniques for maximum effect:

  1. Begin with a TIPP skill to quickly reset your body’s emotional state.
  2. Transition into Self-Soothing to create a sense of comfort and safety.
  3. Use ACCEPTS to redirect your focus and engage with activities that help you feel in control.

These skills empower you to endure emotional pain, giving you time and space to process it without reacting impulsively.

Crosstalk: What is it and Why we don’t do it at Meetings

Come to Depressed Anonymous meetings and you will hear “there is no crosstalk at this meeting but members can comment directly to speakers in the chat.” The online dictionary says: Crosstalk is giving advice, criticizing or making comments about what others have already shared; questioning or interrupting the person speaking or talking while someone is sharing. Another definition which is exceedingly compelling is crosstalk is described as “casual conversation.”

What do we talk about at Depressed Anonymous meetings? There is quite a broad spectrum through the challenges and positivity, deep heartfelt experiences/feelings. We “tell on ourselves” revealing things that we would rather not be known of us yet, that is a power in dissolving shame and fear. Simple listening becomes a blessing of insights and enlightenment, simply by hearing each other. We talk “program talk” and that is not casual conversation. We learn to live one-day-at-a-time. It is not easy though it has been called “simple.” To turn the page on negativity, low energy, despair, hopelessness and choose gratitude, action and positivity is definitely not easy. Yet we are rewarded with the prospect of continuing future growth, freedom from depression. Oh, it may most certainly not be every day and moment but we hear and learn, learning as children do by repeating for our own selves what we hear has worked for our companions. We get a boost, a glimmer: “What a relief, I can get better.” After all, we come here to get better, to learn and practice the tools and develop skills to get better. Then we get to reveal the true person we really are and shed the mistaken identity falsely projected onto the screen of our minds by Depression. And the one price of admission: the desire to stop saddening ourselves. The sharing we hear may be baffling, intense, stressful. There may be heartbreak, trauma. But here we divide our sorrows and when we share our victories and gains, we double our joys. Because we are witnessed and witnessing with open hearts, with loving attention and care. That is the DA Difference, to meet each other with open hearts, loving attention and care. We see each other improving, we see ourselves with time and patience and practice, improving. We hear “I haven’t been depressed since coming to DA…” “I come to meetings, work the steps, I got a sponsor… I am getting better too.”

These are not casual conversations. No No! these are sacred words of truth, hope, light, love spoken then integrated in mind-heart-spirit. Individually and collectively, we improve. Sooner and later, we improve.

This sharing is not casual conversation. We mute ourselves when not speaking and even though we may heartily agree with what is being said, there is no “yes,” “Ah-ha,” “mmm.” There is no murmuring, no background noise because to glimpse and catch Higher Power’s idea for ourselves, well, these are flashes of silent-robed listening, devoted conscious attention.

We are hearing brilliant and commonplace miracles, they may be cloaked in tedium. Spirit is expressing through each one. With that comes great hope, great empathy, great informing of heart-mind-soul. There is IGNITION. Aeronautically speaking, “We have liftoff, Houston.” With each other, our meetings, our Twelve Steps, we spark the will to live as our true selves. We receive Grace, we Surrender, we take the Action and our stories of the miracles of living 24-four-hour days each day arise. Get ready: Hope is stoked, The Lights are On. We shine for ourselves, we shine for each other.

Doreen K, in Boston, MA January 2025

Hope Is A Hard Habit To Break!

Habits are hard to break! A life filled with negative thinking is a hard habit to break. Smoking is a hard habit to break. Negative behaviors are also hard to break. Living a life filled with anxiety is hard to break.

Developing a new habit takes time, persistence, and a belief that I can rebuild my life. In our Depressed Anonymous fellowship, I have learned that motivation follows action. If we have a plan to break a habit, we must put that plan into action.

Depressed Anonymous offers us a workable plan to break our own negative habits. Our plan is proven to work. You can learn more about these plans by checking out our website at https://depressedanon.com, or Google us at Depressed Anonymous. Trust me, you will be glad that you did!

Hugh S., for the Fellowship

DA – A Truly Life Changing Journey

My first psychiatric hospitalization was at age 15. That began two decades of waves of major depression, later called “treatment resistant depression.” I tried just about every medication and therapy there was. My depression lied to me saying I was not good enough (in reality, I was a straight A student and won numerous awards). In my mind, that was not enough, I was not enough. Depression told me “the world would be better off without me.” I found alcohol and other substances to escape my pain. That worked for awhile, but ultimately plummeted me into self-hatred. I had periods of functionality working and pursuing activities I enjoyed. Then depression took over, I couldn’t work anymore, I just could not get up. This depression was a tsunami that swept over me, consumed me. I let everyone down and I hated myself.

Because of my depression, I went on disability with help from my Mom. I made it through one semester of college, then the drinking, the depression and the eating disorder took over. I was hospitalized again. I withdrew from school. I was suicidal and made attempts.

Eventually, I found AA, got sober, worked the steps and found a new life! I still struggled with the eating disorder and the depression but I graduated college and started a career. Depression arose again. Everyone in the rooms of AA was happy, joyous & free…. so what was wrong with me?

After I had my daughter, things were better for awhile. She was the light of my life. Depression kept coming back, even stronger than ever. I was still sober in the rooms of AA, but depression was going to kill me. I tried something new to me: ECT, 6 series over the next 6-8 years. It hurt. A lot. Hellish to go through. It initially helped but the last session put me in a zombie state, unable to speak properly, vocalize or even write my thoughts. Something happened that should not have happened. It scared the hell out of me and my family. Over time I regained my function but I still have memory issues. ECT was no longer an option for me.

Ketamine helped for a while but it felt very addicting and so I stopped it. Suicidal feelings came again and I felt completely hopeless. I might live in an institution for the rest of my life. Even in sobriety I was helpless and hopeless and victimized by depression.

In desperation I googled “depression and 12 steps.” I found the Depressed Anonymous website. I was too afraid to go to a meeting but spoke with a member. I was desperate, utterly despairing. This DA member said he had also felt like that and there was hope for me. HOPE. For Me? I wept. That phone call saved my life. It launched a new life for me, it launched a new path. I got the courage to attend a meeting, I didn’t feel so alone after that. I met people across the globe who experienced depression, understood how I felt and yet they were doing better! I got the DA literature and a sponsor and started doing the work. A few months into DA, I had another severe depression and hospitalization. But I didn’t give up and I kept coming back. My willingness renewed, I worked through the steps with my sponsor and learned I am responsible for my recovery. I am powerless over depression but I am not hopeless. Eventually I started chairing meetings. Service helped me so much! It started to give me the sense that I was just a little capable. I took baby steps. All growth is gradual.

My recovery is like a puzzle: DA is one huge piece of the puzzle. Along with my Higher Power, connecting with my Higher Power, medication, AA, working the steps, eating fairly healthy, weight lifting and going to the gym. There is also puzzle pieces of outreach and service and more. I am off disability for over two years now, and excelling at a great job that I love where I can be of service. I am both a devoted, loving Mother to my daughter and a caring, giving daughter to my Mother. I am capable of being there for myself and others. Yes, I can balance work, life, recovery, service AND learn to have fun again, too!

I have so much gratitude to my DA sponsors and friends, our amazing founder, and all those in this fellowship. This has been truly a life changing journey for me. Life still presents sadness, challenges, fears and “life on life’s terms.” But just for today, I am capable, I have hope and I am not alone.

Yours in fellowship,

Stacy S., March 2024

How DA Has Set Me Free

Working through the DA 12-Step Program started me on a journey which allowed me to face certain truths in my life. They were truths I may not have been aware of or willing to face otherwise. This recovery continues and helps me even today. What is buried deep within can be revealed. I can understand how and why I arrived here. I can come to understand what it is that I need to make myself better. I know that my Higher Power led me here and remains by my side as I continue to navigate my way through life.

When I found DA and the 12 Steps, I was desperate. I was fighting with everything I had to not fall back into another bout of depression. When I’m depressed, I retreat from life and go into survival mode. I sink into a deep, dark hole. My body feels hollow and my emotions are frozen. I lose all interest in “living” my life. My only goal is to survive the day so I can return to the “blessed oblivion” of sleep at night. I do whatever I need to do to stay out of my head which is full of negative thoughts. It feels like hell but it also feels safe and comfortable to be in this dark hole because it allows me to check out of my life. I’ve freed myself from being an active, contributing member of my family, my community and the whole human race. Depression is the excuse I use to not have to deal with any expectations placed upon me by myself or others.

I have discovered a lot about myself on this path. I’ve exposed feelings of fear, shame & unworthiness. I’ve had to work on accepting my negative emotions and becoming more comfortable with the uncomfortable. Allowing myself to be vulnerable, to practice self-compassion and to accept all of who I am both the good and the not so good. This has been a difficult but necessary part of my journey. I’ve had to work on my negative thinking which causes negative feelings which then drives negative actions and produces negative results. Positive and negative experiences/feelings are a natural part of existence. The key is to be able to accept them both!

I am grateful for DA, the Program. Community & all the members who have helped and continue to help me as I go forward. My wish is that everyone who joins DA will find what they need to help them manage their depression. I know this program really does work. There is hope for you, too!

MT, February 2024

Motivation Follows Action

AFFIRMATION
I promise to do something positive for myself today.
“When you are depressed you are plagued by tiredness. Indeed, there are many people who experience the major portion of their depression in tiredness.”

Copyright(c) Dorothy Rowe. Breaking the Bonds, Fontana. 1981.

I find that if I am depressed and want to start to feel better, or at least get my mind off of depression, I need to go for a walk and keep on moving. In DA we say MOTIVATION FOLLOWS ACTION. WHAT THIS MEANS IS THAT YOU’LL NEVER GET MOTIVATED TIL YOU GET BUSY DOING SOMETHING. This was my feeling a lot of time. It was only when I started walking that I wanted to walk. I didn’t want to do anything to help myself, until I forced myself to do something.

I believe that one’s tiredness when depressed comes from having too many things going through one’s brain at the same time. The strain of being overwhelmed is too much for the human brain and so it and the body begin to show the signs of stress. I also believe that so many unpleasant emotions constantly coming to surface and being felt by the body results in an overload situation in my brain.

Copyright(c) Dorothy Rowe, Breaking the Bounds. Fontana. 1981


QUOTE FROM:
Hug Smith. HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS. DAP. LOUISVILLE, KY. 2005 (January 24) Pg.15.

Happy New Year!

We are on the cusp of starting a New Year here in the Eastern time zone. Some parts of the world are already into the new year.

The month of January is named after Janus the Roman god who presided over beginnings. Today is the start of something new. Be hopeful for the new year even if this past year has been challenging. The dark clouds of the past eventually clear and a new day begins.

Looking closely each day is a new beginning – a microscopic reincarnation. We begin anew each day. Start the new day with hope and wonder. Approach the new day with awe and wonder what God1 has in store for you. Let go of your expectations as to what the day will bring. You may be surprised what comes your way but try not to be upset by it.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Note
1 – I use the term God because that is my understanding of my higher power. Please substitute the term that is useful and comforting for you. I am not trying to force my belief upon you.

Savor Life

“If I had my life to live over I’d like to make more mistakes next time. I would relax. I would limber up. I would eat more ice cream and
less bans. I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I would have fewer imaginary ones. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.

I would have perhaps more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

You see, I’m one of those people who live sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I would try to have nothing else. Just one day after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute. If I had to do it again, I would travel lighter than I have.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the Spring and stay that way later in the Fall. I would go to more dances. I would ride more merry-go-rounds. I would pick more daisies.”

Editor’s note:
The author, Nadine, wrote this at the age of 85. She died in a Louisville, Kentucky, nursing home, at the age of 88.

Copyright (C) THE ANTIDEPRESSANT TABLET VOLUME 4 NUMBER 3 SPRING 1993