Category Archives: Hope

IN CONTROL

The following is a passage from the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY Pages 7-8.

Surrender and accept.
I want to admit that my life has been out of control for many years, but now that I am in touch with truth, I believe that my life can be lived out differently.
I can begin to use the Twelve Steps and begin the task of working myself out of the pit of depression. I believe that with time and with patience, plus the group fellowship and support, that I will be able to make some positive strides in feeling different about myself and my world.

A question: How many years, months, days can I remember being depressed? How far back in time can I remember always feeling sad and wanting to withdraw. Write out your experiences about these experiences.

Write down the number of people you have admitted to that you have been depressed.
Write down their reactions to your admission.
When you feel depressed what do you say to yourself? What action or behavior do you do when you feel this way?

Does it promote more isolation or being more connected with others? Please write these out.

Is your life more unmanageable now since you have admitted that you are depressed? Can you tell a difference now that you are admitting that depression is and has been a big problem in your life? YES? OR NO? Please write out these experiences.
——-
These are just a few of the many questions that you may want to answer as you go through this Workbook.
Each of the Twelve Step chapters has a number of questions that will help you discover how you feel about certain areas of your life. Positive solutions are included in each chapter and can aid in your efforts to escape from your own prison of depression.

You can answer these questions, possibly some of which have never crossed your mind before now. The Workbook, can be answered in your own privacy. Or, you may want to answer them with a friend or sponsor.
You can discover more about our fellowship of Depressed Anonymous and discover you can be part of a growing group of those persons like you, who are also searching for a way out of their depression.
_________________________________
Our website is DEPRESSEDANON.COM with listings of daily DA meetings (no fees or dues) online as well as literature, like this Workbook, which may be ordered online.

101: How to eliminate wild weeds (Negative Thinking)

Eliminating weeds from our gardens or from the Spring beauties who show their marvelous colors every year, makes it our major task to dig the weeds out, cutting down these thriving seeds of destruction. They become a pest when allowed to grow and take over what was hoped to be something beautiful and bountiful. Negative thinking is likewise that noxious weed- It yields no good fruit!
Our strategy, is to knock them out before they can get a root- hold, destroying our hard work and handiwork. Seeing the first sign of the noxious weed (negative thinking) tells us that more are on the way.

This I believe, serves as a metaphor for when a mind has been taken over with negative thinking and accompanied by a sense of hopelessness.
Our mind, if filled with uninvited negative thinking, cycling us down with a feeling of loss and hopelessness, we find it’s time to get into action, take a crack at that first negative thought–before it even gets a chance to sabotage our thinking, our feelings and motivation to change.
When the negative thoughts begins–say STOP–don’t go any further with a debate about that first thought. We refuse to get entangled with this tangent thought, always leading us to places where we don’t want to go. We have been at this point of thinking far too many times. We know now how to dismantle this crippling form of negative thinking. Change the script. You do the managing of what you think about.
First, cut the thought down to size–don’t let it scare you, but tell it “I’m not going to believe this anymore.” Another reccuring negative thought, for example might be, “You are worthless.” When this thought appears, we can replace it with a positive “sunspot.” This “sunspot” can be a positve recent mental image of a past event or a positive affirmation of ouselves. And with your own weed control operation, tell yourself as many good things about yourself as you want. What you can accomlish at this point is to see the weed (thought) for what it is. Cut it down, like a bad weed, and dig it out. Have an affirmation ready at hand, to replace each and every negative thought. Positivty thinking is what you are all about!

AFFIRMATION
“Making direct amends and using a personal inventory continues our progress and helps free us from all the hurts of the past. We know now that we can’t afford to think long about real of imagined hurts, or we will throw ourselves back into saddening ourselves once again.”

REFLECTION
One of the things that is toxic for the depressed peron is negative thinking. This thinking continues to grow, once nurtured by my attention into a large and uncontrolled wild weed, taking all the attention from the good things happening in my life. I know that I can no longer give into that first thought allowing to pound me to the ground. My negative thinking is very much akin to drinking for the alcoholic. Once I give into that first moment of self-bashing, the cycle of depression begins. There can be no second negative thought!
Hurts from my past continue to grow stronger the more I allow them to dominate my thinking and my behavior. Hurts are best eradicated (Seep 4 and Step 5) when I deal with them openly and honestly.

MEDITATION
The spirit hopes in God as we begin today with a prayer and a belief that this day can be a good one, like the days that I have had in the past.”

Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step fellowships. Depressed anonymous Publications.Louisville, Ky. Pages 153-154. (September 17)

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous. Third Edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

I wish my family had a depression support group

If you are reading this blog today, and are a family member who is depressed and wishes they had a family that understood how the disease of depression has taken over our whole life, then this Dep-Anon 12 Step recovery group is for your family.

Starting this Monday, August 22, at 2PM EDT and 1PM CST our first Dep-Anon meeting will LAUNCH with its own group program of recovery. The Dep-Anon manual will be used for all our meetings, either on ZOOM or at face to face meetings.You can read more about the Dep-Anon manual on our website at depresedanon.com.
JOINING THE MEETING<

To JOIN the meeting, please use MEETING ID: 846 6885 1123 and the password is: serenity (lowercase).
You can also use the link to enter the meeting by emailing us at depanon@netpenny.net. This link can be used at all recurring meetings.

Over the years i have heard this statement, “I wish my family had a depression support group tp go to,” voiced more times than I can count. Since depression is a family illness, each of us who are or have been depressed, know the importance of a family supporting their depressed significant other. But that is not always the case. Because of a lack of understanding of the illness of depression -the focus of the family is mostly focused on attempting to cure, heal, or change their depressed loved one.

Now, we know, from personal experiences, that the focus needs to be where it belongs–on the person(s) who need to be changed. That would be the family members. Recently, Dep-Anon, a 12 Step recovery program for families and friends of the depressed has been developed. There is nothing new to our approach as we are modeled on the successful Al-Anon program of recovery. Their focus too, is not on their alcoholic family member but is focused on their own need to understand the nature and disease of alcoholism. They learn as families, helping other families, how alcoholism affects not only the alcoholic, but affects the whole family system. It’s a family disease. By putting into use, for their own personal lives, growth and health using the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Dep-Anon, has but one purpose, to help families of the depressed. Here too, the family uses the 12 spiritual principles of Depressed Anonymous–a program geared for family to family support and encouragement. These families gather together, supporting each other, encouraging and sharing their own successes and ways that work for them. They continue to learn about the serious nature of depression. Instead of being critical and frustrated trying to get the depressed to do what we want them to do, for example, trying to get them out of bed, or telling them to get a job, or to “snap out of it.” Family members, many times discover that their methods of helping don’t help, but instead, push the depressed further into isolation.

Dep-Anon can be a key for a family to give the best support that they can to their loved one. This is examen, in a group setting with other family members, learning and discussing with each other what depression is, what it feels like (to the depressed person) and how it effects their total thinking, feeling, and behavior. The Dep-Anon family group will help family learn what depression is and what it is not. We learn how to keep the focus on ourselves, our own self-care, and living in the solution of positive ways to take care of ourselves. Again, we focus on ourselves. In a very real way, it is in taking care of our selves and being provided with a solution focused understanding of what depression is, that we will provide our loved one a positive family environment, where there is respect and which gradually creates harmony and healing among all its members.

What is created here is a symbiotic relationship between the depressed member and the family. What one does positively in helping themselves in recovery (Depressed Anonymous fellowship) will have a positive effect on the other. (families supporting other families).


Remember, Dep-Anon ZOOM meeting Monday at 2PM EDT and 1PM CST.
MEETING ID: 846 6885 1123 Password: serenity (lower case-no Capitals).

In helping others I helped myself. Gloria’s story, continued.

The following story continues from page 140 of Gloria’s story In helping others,I helped myself

“There are four of us who were there together first on June 6th 1985. We had become very good friends. I still remember the things from the very first meeting that the counselor told us. I’ve seen people come and go. Some helped from the very first meeting. Some wanting a wand waved. It has helped me over the rough spots., and gave me courage and to go on as a widow, I have found a peace in life, a special joy in knowing and loving people. In helping others, I have helped myself. I know my background in life has made me degreased at times. My mother was abusive and I realized later in life that it was an emotional illness. I forgave her.

I will continue to attend Depressed Anonymous. Every meeting is different and who knows what mystery each group holds? One never knows who needs me, who needs a smile or hug, who needs to feel that they are not alone, or who needs to know that there is a God that loves all.”
_____________________________
Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous. THIRD EDITION (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY 140-141.

In helping others, I helped myself. Gloria’s story.

” I remember my first night at a Depressed Anonymous meeting. It was the 6th of June, 1985. I went into the room of people I didn’t know and was afraid, I wondered what it would be like and sat at the back of the room so that I could leave if I wanted to. I was withdrawn with the pain of depression, so I knew I wouldn’t open my mouth to these people I didn’t know. The man in charge took me out to another room and asked me a few questions. I found out later it was to see if I needed medical care. When it came my turn to talk at the group of nine people, I refused. Everyone had a very sad story to tell. When I came home, I decided that I didn’t need any more sadness, so I wouldn’t return the next Thursday night. I didn’t. However, the next Thursday, I was ready To
go try again.

After my fourth Thursday, I opened up a little. I didn’t trust these people yet. As the Thursdays past, I became more relaxed and realized they could become good friends to me. I felt a closeness to these people, and I always liked helping others, so I opened up more and more.

After meetings we would go to a restaurant for coffee and food. One night I was laughing and talking, and our counselor in charge said “Gloria you have opened up like a rose. Petal by petal you have opened up.” Well, I felt special and very good inside. It had been a lot of work, and it was noticed by him. I felt proud.”
-Gloria’s story is continued tomorrow here at the blog.

Hugh S., for the fellowship

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous Publications. THIRD EDITION. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 140.
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You can find 30 other positive recovery stories and literature at Depressedanon.com. See The Depressed Anonymous Bookstore. You can order online.

A new publication by DAP is their new manual, Dep-Anon, a 12 step recovery program for families and friends of the depressed. This book is also available at the bookstore.

There is a time for holding on and a time for letting go.

There are times when we are barely holding on and times when we have to let go.
The United States is in the beginning of weather changes that have never before been seen by most of us in this country. There are the wildfires that are burning out of control in the Western regions of the country, and flooding that most people have never experienced in their lifetimes. Just recently, in my on State of Kentucky, thirty-eight people lost their lives in an early morning flooding which affected sixteen counties in Eastern Kentucky. The extent and magnitude of this flooding was so huge that older Kentuckians had never witnessed such devastation. Previous to that, Kentucky was blasted by a Tornado 12 miles wide and 200 miles in length. It sped through Kentucky 150 miles an hour. Whole communities were wiped out. Again, another example of the powerful changes in our weather.
Sea levels rising, as ice caps continue melting in both poles. The whole planet and its’ people ( including you and me) are holding on for things to come. Some of us, more than we know, are holding on to their lives. So many losses, so much of what we have valued are gone. With all of that we are still going through the pandemic. We are holding on.
We are finding that the grief and destruction that is ours, as family, community, nation, is beginning to turn our world upide dwon as we know it.
In a positive way, some of us are holding on to what has given us hope with a sense of security. By this I mean, that when we become afraid, depressd and isolated we can still spiral out of the bad mood over all our losses and enter into a new mood of hope and serenity. And how does this happen? For those of us who are depressed, we discovered a program of recovery that works.This is a 12 Step program of rcovery called Depressed Anonymous. It is a program where persons with the same faith and practice of the Steps, come together in a fellowship and mutually support each other, in ours times of loss. We hold onto the promises of DA,where we learn what happens to those of us when we place our trust in a God of our understanding. We not only begin to hold onto the belief that we will get better, we also begin to discover and root out those personality defects which keep us imprisoned and isolated. We felt there is no help in sight. Not true. Members of our recovering fellowship show us how by putting into effect the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps how our lives begin to change for the better.
It is in the “letting go” of the areas of our lives that made life feel hopeless and ourselves worthless. We soon found that the negative ways that we talked to ourselves were counterproductive. Once we began to affirm the good in ourselves, we were able to find ways that gave us new hope.

We came to believe that there was a God of love on our side, who manifested its power, daily working out in our mind and body, the belief that we too are able to find peace and help as we continue to live with meaning and purpose for our life.
Hold onto the belief that the God of your understanding will bring you peace and a new way of living. This new way of living will give you resources, plus a beloved community, supporting each of you on your journey of hope.

Please go to our website at Depressedanon.com and find out more of who we are and what we believe. You will be happy that you did.

With a gratitude,

Hugh S.

Graffiti Wisdom

“Here is a poem that I found graffitied on a wall recently. It was signed “Hank”:

“your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank
submission
be on the watch there are ways out
there is light somewhere
it may not be much light but
it beats the
darkness
be on the watch
the gods will offer you
chances.
be on the watch
know them, take them
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life
sometimes
and the more often
you learn to do it
the more light there will
be
your life is your life
know it while you have
it
you are marvelous
the gods wait in delight
in
you.”

Quotation from:

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete WALKER. Copyright by Pete Walker
An Azure Coyote Book /2013 www.Pete WAlker.com First Edition
ISBN 14972871842 1SBN 9781492871842 All Rights Reserved
Printed In the United States of America

If you need anything, let me know

These are the words from a woman who has a dementia. The words always come with a smile. She doesn’t remember my name nor my wife’s name. She just knows that we are someone that she sees often coming to visit. I had initially found it strange that she would say this at the end of every visit–as I was painfully aware that this is not possible now, at this stage of her dementia.

Here is my point. I knew her when she did knew my wife and I. She always ended our visits with this warm offer of help, if “we needed it”. I believe that there are places in her brain, memories, that are triggered when loved ones leave after visiting. She didn’t just start saying this, like it was something brand new. Her whole life was spent helping others -seeing if anyone needed her help. In earlier days, if they did need help, she was there for them.

This statement, “if you need anything”, is one of our groups commitment to those who suffer from depression. If you are depressed, we are there to help you. When you knock at our door, online or real, we invite and welcome you into our fellowship. Here you will find helpful ways to deal with and overcome your own depression. You will also find good people who will not judge you because of your depression.

Each of us is on our own recovery journey, some of us just beginning, some further along and some who come back to help others, and sharing all the positive ways that they have improved their own lives. We heard the same supportive words as you are hearing today. So, as my friend tells us, if You need anything, how can we help you? And one thing that we always do provide,is hope! We want you to come to a Depressed Anonymous fellowship meeting today, where you will be able to personally share with us how we can help you. We look forward to meeting you.
Hugh S

Please check out our website here (depressedanon.com) for more information about attending DA meetings online and/or face to face.

Life is unpredictable

Life is unpredictable. Every living organism operates with a certain amount of unpredictability and uncertainty. The uncertainty of life creates in us a desire for predictability. If we do not believe in the possibility of change, we would all be hopelessly lost and forever bored. Hope would be lost. Potential for a better life would never exist. When there is hope, change is possible. The experience of depression is much the same. Depression is so predictable and unchanging that we lose hope for the pain of our isolation ever coming to an end.

–Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. From the Introduction, Page 20.

As I changed the script, the scenarios of my life got better

“When I was depressed I thought that my sad feelings would keep me forever shut up in the prison and pain of depression. I continued to believe quite falsely, that I would never feel good again. In time though, and by believing in my Higher Power, I forced myself to get active in my own recovery and focus on my strengths and abilities. As I changed the script the scenarios of my life got better!

I will depend on this Power greater than myself to help me through disabling times of depression.I will live only for this day and so I will have the freedom from worry about yesterday and the projected hurts about tomorrow.”

My thoughts about changing the script of my life are the following:
1) Instead of letting my negative thoughts overwhelm me and force me into submission, I now think thoughts of hope.
2) My thinking and behavior are solution focused. I now tell myself and believe that I have the ability tom make favorable decisions in my behalf.
3)I have found the people (Depressed Anonymous fellowship) who live positive lives with their own living script, giving hope to risk living their lives without fear of being abandoned or isolated in that prison of depression. If I believe that I have created my own prison, I also believe that I have a choice to stop putting bricks into a structure that only isolated and paralyzed my abilities and efforts to climb out of the hole of depression.
4)I gain new positive beliefs about myself from other members of the fellowship. Those mistaken believes that I once held about myself are gradually stricken from my personal script, as the scenarios of my life begin to change for the better.
5) Every day I have a fresh start as I continue to thrive while my moods provide me with a startling and new found energy, plus a host of friends who speak a language of hope.
6) Best of all, I can go to a live ZOOM meeting of the fellowship every day, with meetings at night during the week. And finally, you will only be as isolated as you decide. You are not alone.

Hugh S.

For more information, please click onto our website at www.depressedanon.com. We welcome all who want to learn how to keep from saddening themselves.

Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step fellowship groups. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Pages 89-90 .