A fellow member of DA shared some wisdom with me and I thought I would pass it along. She mentioned that she uses the RAIN model or methodology when dealing with a situation:
Before you react to a situation that arises use the RAIN model.
Recognize – Be aware of the state you are in. State the facts of the situation without judgment.
Acknowledge – Accept that you are indeed in the situation you are in. You don’t need to fight it or complain about it. Acknowledging is not the same as liking or wanting the thing to happen – you’re just accepting that is where you are in the moment.
Investigate – Scan your thoughts, your emotions, and your physical sensations. Are you stuck in any form of stinking thinking? Label the emotion you are experiencing and where it manifests in your body. Scan yourself without judgment and with acceptance.
Nurture – Is there anything that you can do to comfort yourself and/or make you safe? Do you need to attack the thing that is harming you, or is a simple retreat a more effective way to protect yourself? Is there anything that you could think or do that would improve the situation even if only 1%? Do what the nurturing side of yourself is suggesting in the moment.
Practice the RAIN model. It will not feel natural at first, but keep doing it. A sense of calm will begin to envelop you. You will be able to respond maturely and serenely to the situations that come up in your life as opposed to the immature unhealthy reaction which is the normal way you do things.
You are worthy of being calm and loving towards yourself even if you are in the midst of the storm and chaos of those around you. Take the higher road as that is the way to peace and serenity.
Yours in recovery, Bill R