Category Archives: Affirmations

“…letting go of all illusion…”

I am writing this prayer I wrote some five years back now for deeper peace and acceptance, during this challenging time I’m experiencing. Sharing this Hope in case I too can 0ffer Strength for others.
Affectionately, Janet M.

Thank you dear Creator of love and joy in action for the fellowship of your presence. Move me, I pray, for the Stillness of this Love. Why I abide there always gathering in your Strength, Peace and Wellbeing as kindling to feel the fire of your Spirit within. As I walk this path today, should I become disturbed return my heart to you. Purify my motives and direct my attention back into Awareness and Unity with your Spirit, which is the hand of Peace. Help me to offer kindness for the many Seeds of Blessings which feed my growing into Trueness of Being. Help me to understand your Passion in laughter, tears, joy and pain, knowing all of your Provision and how Precious that gift is that lies within the Earth of us all. Thank you for my children, family and friends. Bless ua your light, nurturing our hearts and strengthen our vision and relationships. May a seeming separateness burn up into the flames of letting go of all illusions while Liberating the Soul and setting Freedoms flight to soar and all resistance fall away. Gather us together, this day in Body, Mind and Spirit manifesting your Love. Amen.

Not everything faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced

I have found this statement, by James Baldwin to be as true as day is long. I also know from my own experiences. When fear comes upon us like a dark cloud, we are tempted to run. When an obstacle prevents us from reaching a goal, we stop. But when we make that decision to face the problem, good things start to happen.

Today, I am going to choose to face the problem-whatever that might be. I am choosing to use the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous to make this happen.

Hugh S.

One of the great paradoxes of human life…

DECISION 12 : “I will learn to share my sadness with others and to share their sadness.” Dorothy Rowe. Breaking the Bonds. Understanding depression, Finding Freedom. Fontana. London. 1991. Page 271.

One of the great paradoxes of human life is that, in the way that we are born and die and in between create our own unique world of meaning, we are always atone, yet the only way that we can live with the essential aloneness is to share our life with other people.” Page 271.


Dear Reader, this concludes our journey of how to Leave Loneliness Behind. By making the 12 Decisions our own, and living out these truths as presented to us by Dorothy Rowe, we can leave loneliness behind.
I give total credit to Dr. Rowe, psychologist, for her wisdom, that she shares with us here in BREAKING THE BONDS.
Jill Tweedie. a reviewer, tells us that the writer Dorothy Rowe, is the “light at the end of the tunnel.” If you make that decision to read this work, I know you will agree.

Hugh S.

I will learn how to receive a gift generously

DECISION 10: Receiving a gift.
“IF you determine that the gift does come with the unstated message of obligation you then have three choices;
1. You can accept the gift as you always have, and not feel guilt, anger and obligation.
2. You can state the unstated message to the giver and say that you cannot accept such a gift. To do this you must completely abandoned your belief that you must never upset anyone ever and have developed some competence in dealing with upset people.
3. You can accept the gift as if it is a free gift, ignore the obligation, feel happy and enjoy the gift. To do this you must have given up being an expert in being good and have developed a competence in doing things which are not wholly admirable but are immensely enjoyable.

If you determine that the gift does come as a free gift, given out of love and concern, then yugo must receive it with the same generosity with which it was given. Let yourself feel joy, not guilt. Don’t say “Oh, you shouldn’t have.’ Say ‘It’s wonderful. I love it, and give the giver a hug and a kiss. All we want when we give a fee gift is to see the other person’s happiness.
Sometimes what gets in the way when we want to enjoy a gift is our envy.”


Dorothy Rowe, Breaking the Bonds. Understanding Depression, Finding freedom. Fontana. London. 1991. Pages 209-210.
Dorothy Rowe is The author of BREAKING THE BONDS of the Twelve Decisions, contained in the chapter, LEAVING LONELINESS BEHIND, Pages 238-279.

The Circle Dance

If you have ever been depressed or are depressed at this moment, you are familiar with the Circle Dance.

I know the dance steps well, and in fact, I could share with you some of the basic steps, illustrating familiar dance steps.

First of all, let me say that you already know those steps that automatically get you to perform the “Circle Dance. You get caught up emotionally, the moment certain negative thoughts come bouncing across the dance floor into your mind. You know them as that painful hollowness in your gut, a desire to quit the dance and lay down, or to bash yourself with thoughts of how bad you feel.

Sometimes, starting with those life events from childhood, when your caregivers, be they parents or guardians, made you feel worthless and unwanted. These thoughts and feelings are constantly triggered by those with whom you share this life. You avoid people, think of yourself as unlovable –and the dance goes on and on in your head.

The Feelings of hopelessness produces unpleasant feelings. The feelings produce an unpleasant mood and the dance begins. The mood speeds up the dance and whisks you away into that painful circle with its attendant anxieties, sucking you down into the mental quicksand, swallowing you with all the terror and fright of losing all hope, much less your future. The Circle Dance will take you, everyday and in every way, to where you know you don’t want to go.

This dance is familiar. It is like the helpless insect caught in the web of the spider. The why of this hellish addiction to sadness, is never fully addressed with any solutions or answers. We want to know how to stop it. How to control it. We ask ourselves, how is it that I am depressed? How did I get into this terrifying circle, this loop which keeps me locked in a mood of hopelessness and despair. Where did all this sadness, anxiety originate? Will I ever find a way out? Is the dance, on automatic pilot, going to destroy me? Am I, a victim, without a source of help? Is this the way life is for me to be–forever filled with misery?
So much of the time I feel like I am on a train, heading toward a precipice, with no way of stopping it or escaping disaster?

Through all this, pain and confusion, you become an expert dancer, in fact, you know of others who like you, are expert dancers — trapped in dancing within their own Circle Dance.

The dance, it is so familiar. It is a defense, a comfort. We gradually learn to use it to protect us from the pain, without ever having a clue as to how it took over my life.

“A famous psychiatrist, a Dr. Freud, once theorized “that the reason a person continues to do the Circular Dance within themselves, is an effort to touch an unpleasant early life behavior or that long since forgotten event, buried in one’s unconscious. The Circular Dance promotes our addictive nature and the compulsion to repeat, is an effort by our mind to remember what it was that is the cause of our present cycle of misery, spinning us around and around – looking for answers as to what we do and why we do what we do and feel the way that we do, but never able to unlock the prison of our sadness.”

The Depressed Anonymous 12 step fellowship provides us with a possible solution to this question of no longer allowing the Circular Dance to determine the our life’s direction.

It is my belief, after participating in Hundreds of Depressed Anonymous meetings, over three decades or more, that the compulsion to repeat these sslf-destructive thoughts and images, may be linked to early childhood periods, accompanied with their painful, traumatic events. It is in those early days, that our Circular Dance took root and began to keep us locked down in its circular loop.

It is here, in the 12 Step Fellowship of Depressed Anonymous, that those unpleasant feelings, resultant from physical. emotional and mental abuse by significant others (parents and/or guardians, others) can be shared, voiced and talked about safely, and confidentially in the light of the accepting fellowship that we experience in all of our mutual help meetings.

It is possible that with time, patience and work, that these early feelings of hurt and feeling worthless, to name just a few, can be identified and shown how they have affected us negatively in the way we feel about ourselves today. With the help and work of the group, we are able to locate and make conscious those early life experiences that have been pushed aside. Because the feelings were too powerful and painful to examine and so they were buried in our unconscious. Basically, we can say, that there is no longer a need for that compulsive and addictive Circular Dance that our mind had used to punish us with guilt and shame. We now have the freedom to live life, recover from the wounds of the past, and live life today with hope and purpose. That is my wish for you this day.. And for myself.

No one puts me down, for saying that I am depressed. We never hear a “Snap nap out of it” at our meetings. If we could “snap out of it” there would be no need for our meetings. With work, time and the fellowship we no longer need a dance that goes nowhere but down. Now we are spiraling upward. We thrive!

Hugh S., for the Fellowship


Copyright(c) Hugh Smith (1986, 2013) 2nd Edition. I’ll do it when I feel better. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
Pages 64-65.

In Control

The following is a passage from the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY Pages 7-8.

Surrender and accept.
I want to admit that my life has been out of control for many years, but now that I am in touch with truth, I believe that my life can be lived out differently.
I can begin to use the Twelve Steps and begin the task of working myself out of the pit of depression. I believe that with time and with patience, plus the group fellowship and support, that I will be able to make some positive strides in feeling different about myself and my world.

A question: How many years, months, days can I remember being depressed? How far back in time can I remember always feeling sad and wanting to withdraw. Write out your experiences about these experiences.

Write down the number of people you have admitted to that you have been depressed.
Write down their reactions to your admission.
When you feel depressed what do you say to yourself? What action or behavior do you do when you feel this way?

Does it promote more isolation or being more connected with others? Please write these out.

Is your life more unmanageable now since you have admitted that you are depressed? Can you tell a difference now that you are admitting that depression is and has been a big problem in your life? YES? OR NO? Please write out these experiences.


These are just a few of the many questions that you may want to answer as you go through this Workbook.

Each of the Twelve Step chapters has a number of questions that will help you discover how you feel about certain areas of your life. Positive solutions are included in each chapter and can aid in your efforts to escape from your own prison of depression.

You can answer these questions, possibly some of which have never crossed your mind before now. The Workbook, can be answered in your own privacy. Or, you may want to answer them with a friend or sponsor.

You can discover more about our fellowship of Depressed Anonymous and discover you can be part of a growing group of those persons like you, who are also searching for a way out of their depression.


Our website is https://depressedanon.com with listings of daily DA meetings (no fees or dues) online as well as literature, like this Workbook, which may be ordered online.

If you need anything, let me know

These are the words from a woman who has a dementia. The words always come with a smile. She doesn’t remember my name nor my wife’s name. She just knows that we are someone that she sees often coming to visit. I had initially found it strange that she would say this at the end of every visit–as I was painfully aware that this is not possible now, at this stage of her dementia.

Here is my point. I knew her when she did knew my wife and I. She always ended our visits with this warm offer of help, if “we needed it”. I believe that there are places in her brain, memories, that are triggered when loved ones leave after visiting. She didn’t just start saying this, like it was something brand new. Her whole life was spent helping others -seeing if anyone needed her help. In earlier days, if they did need help, she was there for them.

This statement, “if you need anything”, is one of our groups commitment to those who suffer from depression. If you are depressed, we are there to help you. When you knock at our door, online or real, we invite and welcome you into our fellowship. Here you will find helpful ways to deal with and overcome your own depression. You will also find good people who will not judge you because of your depression.

Each of us is on our own recovery journey, some of us just beginning, some further along and some who come back to help others, and sharing all the positive ways that they have improved their own lives. We heard the same supportive words as you are hearing today. So, as my friend tells us, if You need anything, how can we help you? And one thing that we always do provide,is hope! We want you to come to a Depressed Anonymous fellowship meeting today, where you will be able to personally share with us how we can help you. We look forward to meeting you.
Hugh S

Please check out our website here (depressedanon.com) for more information about attending DA meetings online and/or face to face.

Do persons who are addicted have depression as part of their lives?

Many times I hear a person attending our fellowship, Depressed Anonymous, not only are they now attending another 12 step fellowship, but now believe that their depression is either a part of their addiction, or the cause of their depression.

Whether they are addicted to a substance (alcohol) or to a behavior (depressive thinking), they find that depression is part of their daily life. With depression being part of an addiction, it follows that these powerful feelings of helplessness and hopelessness need ot e addressed.

Co-morbidity is a term used in the treatment of addictions, as with the alcoholic who is depressed, exists as a critical factor in how alcoholism affects their specific addiction. Co-dependency also serves as fertile ground for depression to develop, as it takes over one’s moods, thinking and behavior. Both the depressed and the alcoholic find themselves out of control, unable to live a life free from their addictions. The one feeds on the other. That is why one will find the Depressed Anonymous fellowshiip a necessary and healing partner in one’s healing.

So, can we say, not only should an alcoholic deal with his/her addiction to alcohol, but need to look into their feelings of depression. The one affects the other negatively. In the case of seeking and getting help for their alcohol addiction, and staying sober, both AA and DA provide long term, positive effectS, on one’s feeling isolated and depressed. The more we use the tools of Alcoholics Anonymous and Depressed Anonymous, the more we will find the hope and serenity that comes from the strength and healing,
from both these spiritual programs of recovery.

Many times persons who join us in our Depressed Anonymous 12 Step program, find that our fellowship becomes a logical and necessary component for their individual recovery program.

If a person feels lost in their struggle to free themselves from the prison of depression, they simultaneously are struggling to stay sober, possibly denying their own negative and tortuous thinking causing a spiraling downward into a pit from which they are not able to dig out.

How many persons depressed come into a Depressed Anonymous meeting and find that there is hope for them too. They embrace and make part of their lives, the strength received when they apply the 12 steps to their own lives. If you are already part of a 12 Step Fellowship, and are seeking help for your depression. The fellowship of Depressed Anonymous is here for you.

Hugh S.

COPYRIGHT(C) Depressed Anonymous, THIRD EDITION, 2011. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Lousville, KY.

This book of Depressed Anonymous can be ordered online from the Depressed Anonymous website at Depressedanon.com. Other 12 Step literature is available from this Bookstore.