The Three Needs and Storytelling

“In an article on AA’s Third Step (Richard Rohr) counsels that spirituality involves the “letting go” of three needs.

  1. The need to be in control.
  2. The need to be effective.
  3. The need to be right.

For alcoholics (and others) in early sobriety the last point may be the most important, for detachment from the need to be right, surrender of “demand to have the last word,” seems a prerequisite to the kind of listening that allows participation in the healing power of storytelling.

Source: The Spirituality of Imperfection. Kurtz and Ketcham. Bantam, NY, Page 173.

Quoted in THE ANTIDEPRESSANT TABLET. Fall 1996. Volume 8. Number 1. Page 8.

Comment: Control, I believe plays a big part in our own recovery. We tried to control others, manipulate our relationships, so that we came across as someone that we were not. We needed to have control of others, as only I knew what was right for them. We corrected others when we felt that we knew more about what they were talking about than they did.

As to my own recovery, I discovered that most of what I learned about recovery from depression was from others, like myself. who had weathered the depression darkness, by sharing their own story. By doing so, the deflation of my ego, took me out of being the center of the universe, to having this new belief that it was no longer I who was in control, but in fact, it was this power greater than myself who is now in control.

Amazingly, it was not only a story of my own brokenness and restoration, but was chiefly a story of how this Power put me back together. I now follow a path of serenity and hope, with the author of my new life who guides me every day of my life. My God always has the last word. BELIEVE!

Hugh S., for the fellowship

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