Fear Pulled me off my path


The following story ” Fear pulled me off my path.” is reprinted here with the permission of Debra Sanford, the author of A MEDLEY OF DEPRESSION STORIES, pages  62-64. This particular article is one of a total of thirty-five stories featured in the book.

“Fear crushed me lately. I went into such  a dark place I couldn’t see the light. I had truly lost my way, like walking through the house with no electric at night. And having to feel  the furniture to figure out where I was. It was horrible. I cried so  much. I got it in my head that  I had leukemia because, of my severe anemia. All along thinking I was dying of cancer! I was leaving my children and grandkids. There was no hope to be found. In reality nothing had changed. Everything was the same as yesterday. I had a  nice little cottage, plenty of food and bills paid. I had so many friends in my life. But one thing had changed! My thought I was sure I had leukemia because I had the same symptoms. I freaked my self out so bad. I couldn’t see the forest for the trees! Fear is crushing. It drags you unwillingly into a tunnel of darkness. It’s one of the hardest things to come out of by yourself. It changes the playing field in one minute. I found it impossible to hold on to any kind of positive thought that would bring hope. I sobbed on my sofa and began to text my friends my fear dilemma! So many friends called and texted back positive words and even some humor that it made me laugh. There are not enough good things in the world to say about my good friends!! They truly are more valuable than money! About two hours later I began to feel  hope and see the light! They all have been crushed by depression and fear too. So they knew what it would take to pull me out of it. That’s the greatest thing about having friends who have experienced depression. You don’t have to explain it each time to them. They just get it! Fear is a dark monster that bares  no truth. It’s a lie! It hasn’t even come to pass yet, if it ever does. But the hope it steals is measureless!  And it clearly in the mind! The mind begins to run rampant with dark and scary thoughts. It starts to entertain the fear which lies as  it were a solid truth.  Within no time at all the lies  become some kind of reality in our minds, where we actually believe them as they are absolute truths. This is when the pain is at its height! Thus, my sobbing that I was definitely dying from  cancer.  It’s best to avoid fear at all cost. As the initial fear battle begins to distract your mind away from peace, call a friend immediately who is bold and powerful. And let them speak the truth to your mind and heart and loud and clearly! Do what you need to do to escape the “fear forest.”! Because once you allow yourself to entertain those scary thoughts you will be in that dark forest and it’s difficult to get out of it on your own. Call friends immediately for help!”

-Debra, NC

“Fear is crushing. It drags you unwillingly into a tunnel of darkness.”

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