My feelings get frozen for me when I am depressed. My face sometimes masks the feelings of despair that lurks in my whole being. I feel only the pain and hurt of yesterday. I say “I’ll do it when I feel better.” I never do it because that day never comes. I need to have a list of feeling words that will help me best get in touch with what I feel and desire. The words that describe the feelings are just that – words- but the words that I describe myself with are the same words that I have allowed to imprison me throughout my life.
The major feelings are mad, sad, glad and fearful. It is when I can name my feelings, feel them, that I can make some headway accepting that they are there and then deal with them. In the past, I fled from what was new and uncomfortable.
In the spiritual life, I find that God is there whether I feel its presence or not. What I know is that there is some grand design for this universe and for myself. I am in debt to its plan and to its process. Right now, as I yield to its desire for my life (it’s desire is my desire). I will and I can find a way out of my depression. Even though I fear that I might lose something of myself, my very self, if I trust, just the opposite can happen. I will gain a new life filled with hope and a new way of feeling alive.”
SOURCES: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. (1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. January 11.
Copyright(c) I’ll do it when I feel better. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.