” I know that I needed help. I had been to counselors on three other times in my life, but nothing ever seemed to work or last. This time, I have been in counseling for about two months. I was sick and tired of being like this. I wanted a life and I wanted to be happy. Every week, someone would notice a change in me at the Depressed Anonymous meeting, but I still felt the same. Then one day while watching TV (thinking thoughts at 100mph), it occurred to me that I was making myself miserable.
I had always known that I was hard on my self. I reamed myself out every time something bad happened. “Why can’t I find someone to love me?” “Why isn’t God looking after me?” But for some reason when I realized that I was doing this to myself it made me realize that maybe all I would have to do is stop doing it! All of a sudden it made sense.
If I tell myself negative thoughts, I feel negative. If I tell myself positive thoughts eventually I will have to feel positive.
Of course I am still testing it out, but I feel better and for the first time in 14 years, I have hope. It’s not that hard to find something positive about myself or my life now. So I remind myself of something positive every day and that is what I am going to do until I don’t have to remind myself anymore because I’ll know.
I’m always finding out that my life is not as horrible as I have made it out to be. I used to tell myself that since it happened before, it will happen again –and that simply is not true. Yes, my past was horrible and it is no wonder I ended up with depression. I want out of it and the only person to get me out is me. There is not a magic wand to transport you to the life you want. Everyone knows what they wish their life could be like – so do it! Make the changes you have to make, trust in God and always remember that good things come to those who wait. I’ve waited over half my life. I don’t have to be a victim of my past or of my mind any more, I’m more than ready for the good things! With love and hope!
–A Depressed Anonymous member.
RESOURCE: Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Ky. Pages 120-121. (Personal Stories).
The Home Study program of recovery is always available online with an online sponsor. See more information about the Home Study Kit at the Depressed Anonymous Bookstore here at depressedanon.com.