How often must I learn not to get caught up in the mania of having thoughts and feelings and flights of grandiosity as I flee from the depths of my sadness. I will not run from my sadness, but instead, I will focus on the fact that I have to stake out my claim and say, this is it — I am going to get well starting today – right now. When I am manic I am panicky and very jittery, but when I am depressed or feel myself slippimg down into the abyss of darkness I run as fast as I can until I no longer can stop my racing thoughts, nor find an end to the obsession of wanting complete perfection in everything that I do.
What this means is that I am going to believe that I am about to be released from a terminal illness. My sadness has dogged me throughout my life. I no longer am willing to give in to it, this Black Dog of sadness once labeled as “melancholia.” I have tried all the pills to rid myself from the angst of my soul until there were no more pills, no more solutions and no more avenues of escape. I could escape the pain from time to time, but not a lifetime of hurtful human experiences.
God, you call each of us by name. Give us the power to name anything that is blocking us from growing in the wisdom of your will for us today. Lead us home to your peace. (Add your own personal thoughts here.)
(c) Higher thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step Fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. November 20th.
(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
Go to the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore to order online.