All posts by Hugh Smith

Acceptance, Powerlessness

My best thinking got me to where I am today

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Most persons, once they sober up, get on the path of sobriety and start the hard work of recovery, realizing that all their excuses and delays of finding help, illustrate the insanity of their thinking. How often did I say to myself  (my best thinking?) that “I don’t need help, I can beat this demon on my own.”

In our Depressed Anonymous Manual for recovery from depression, I was told on a number of occasions by some very suicidal and depressed people, “No, I’m alright, I can handle this.” The tragedy here is that two weeks later, my friend killed himself.  Of course, he was thinking that he surely could quit this drug that had him paralyzed and helpless. He was in a dark pit of hopelessness.  He  wasn’t  paralyzed because he had shackles around his legs,  but he was immobilized because of his denial that he needed help.

My situation was pretty much the same as my friends. But thank goodness because of my being cited for driving while intoxicated that I was forced by my boss to go get help  (AA) or check myself in at an in patient treatment facility. I was given a choice: choose one or the other or lose my job. I chose the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and was given the tools to live a life filled with hope.

What works for any addiction and compulsive behavior/thinking  also works for someone depressed and suicidal.  I know, been there and done that. Try it. Happy New year! Have a happy new life.

Hugh

Depressed Anonymous

Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity

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“This new belief in a Higher Power is not the creation of any organized religion but instead is the Power that creates the  universe.  Our surrender and trust in it frees it to work its way in our lives. That is the paradox of the Twelve Steps – the more we depend on the Higher Power instead of our addictions, the freeer we in reality become.

This new belief will in time give us the power to think about risking life without having to be dead sure of what the next moment will bring. It appears that when we are depressed, we are so sure that since everything in the past has been bad so should everything be in the future. You just expect everything to turn ut badly. So, the tomorrows never look very good to us. We need therefore to live in the now and it is when we surrender to the Higher Power that we finally begin to feel a safety we never felt before.”

SOURCE:   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pg. 43.

Comment:  This is the Second Step of the Twelve Steps, the  spiritual principles that guide the lives of those  of  us who are in recovery. The Steps are the guides that   promote our personal peace and hope.  They are like a ladder that lead us  to   a higher level of living,  while at the same time leading  us to others just like ourselves.

I know that for some who come into our program of recovery feel a bit squeamish about turning their lives over to some Higher Power.  In Step Three, the Higher Power is defined as the God of our understanding–who we understand God to be. No matter what one’s religious beliefs might be or not be, we have this Power who we can turn to and to whom we can surrender our daily lives.  We just know that we can’t defeat our problem alone but need the  help of God, a Higher Power.  The Depressed Anonymous fellowship is there to help us in our journey out of our depression.  Their own lives and healing is in itself a power which can inspires us to continue on our journey as we work through the Steps and continue to hope. And by listening to the stories of others who are on the same path as our own and finding healing in their stories,   we  can tell ourselves that there must “be hope for me as well.”

An excellent work titled A MEDLEY OF DEPRESSION STORIES, by Debra Sanford, published in 2017, ( ISBN 978-1974499601)  will provide a wealth of hope for you as you accompany them in their personal stories out of the darkness of their own depression. They show us how the God of their understanding and the fellowship of DA all come together to give them back their lives of hope and happiness.

Also, you can read  inspirational stories of recovery in Depressed Anonymous, in the Personal Stories section of the book.  Both books would be great gifts to those of your family or friends who are looking for help.

Hugh

12 Step Meeting, Courage

How can I change if I am depressed?

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Has depression distorted us from the truths of life, namely that life is to be lived with hope and serenity.  Nursing along a good habit can in time  wean us from old and debilitating habits of thought and behavior. We want to daily fill our day with the gratitude that we are in deed getting better and that the trust that we have is indeed placed in our Higher Power.

In order for us to change and In order for us to escape depression, we need to begin to be aware of the process of how people change. This process for change is of the nature of a spiral  instead of a straight line. In other words, now that we are willing to risk feeling differently, we have been gearing up to improve our situation. In other words, we are making a very important decision right now about our lives.

1. Awareness stage: We become conscious that we can’t go on feeling the way we do. Something has to give.

2. Motivating stage: I am going to prepare myself for needed changes in my thinking, acting and feeling.

3. Doing stage: I am going to take charge and be responsible for positive changes that have to be  made by me if I am going to feel better and differently.

4. Maintaining stage: I will continue to seek out and sustain my recovery with people, concepts and my personal working the 12 Step program of recovery.

 

I believe that it is when we begin to understand the process of the 12 steps begin the important process of enlarging our awareness of our own depression experience and slowly learn how to apply them  to our daily lives. This awareness will place us directly in a recovery program, using the formula for success in overcoming depression.

We highly recommend that anyone who wants to escape depression   begin to study our program of recovery as outlined in our Manual DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS and begin to question oneself as to how, when  and what began the spiraling downward into despair  of our own depression. Our Workbook, is the greatest tool in unearthing  the ways   that put us in the place that we are today.  We  do this by gradually working our way out of this maze of problems and situations that   shackled and immobilized us day after day.

The more attention that we give to how we got where we are today, the more we will be motivated to continue our quest to use the tools provided by Depressed Anonymous. Once we get busy with the work of understanding how depression works, the more we will find ourselves  motivated to get free of our life of hopelessness.

 

 

 

SOURCE:  The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2001, 2017) . DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS. Louisville. PAGE 41.

Fellowship, Love, Mindfulness

The gift that just keeps on giving!

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“These Twelve Step;s work for those who work the program and who try to live one day at a time.  Many times we have been so scared of being rejected once more that we have withdrawn deeper into  the anguish of our shame and hurt. We need to to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story.  There is something healing  about hearing ourselves speak to others about  our own journey in life and the many emotional potholes that we have fallen into from time to time. We have felt our lives were jinxed. But now we can begin to feel hopeful when other members of the group shake their their heads in knowing approval of what we are saying when we tell our story. Most have been where we are now. And the more we make an effort to come to meetings regularly, the more we will find members of  the group telling us how they are seeing a change in the way we act, talk  and look.  We will accept the group’s comments as being true and honestly expressed. These people speak our language and they all have been where  we are now. You gradually begin to see yourself as healer instead of victim the more you work the program and get excited about the possibility of helping others. When you start reaching out to others in the group, it is at that point thay you are carrying the message of hope to others. You have a future with Depressed Anonymous. ”

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 105.

The last Step of the Twelve Steps of Depressed Anonymous says it best for those of us who  now want to be that “gift that keeps on giving.” and become bearers of HOPE.

STEP TWELVE of   the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS FELLOWSHIP

“Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we  tried to carry this message to the depressed,  and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

12 Step Meeting, Fellowship, Journaling, Love

I need a manual on how to live life!

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The other day I noticed that one of my head lights was out. I thought why spend good money and have a mechanic fix this thing? I will just find a manual that fits the make and year of my car and do it myself. So that is what I did. It worked perfectly and I saved my self some grief from a mechanic’s bill.

Before this situation I was visiting my mechanic about a problem that I knew I could not fix and so I went into the garage and found him under the hood peering intently into the car’s engine. At the same time, he was reading carefully from a manual, spread out over the engine illustrating the engine parts with pictures and text. I thought, wow! just like my wife when she is cooking up a new dish. Her new dish was illustrated with pictures and text, giving step by step directions for giving her latest creation new life. Many times at a 12 Step group meeting how many times that I felt I needed a manual on how to live life successfully. When you are born, your Mom didn’t get a manual from the doctor telling her how her new creation was to live his/her life.

Fast forward to adolescence and young adulthood or even as an older adult in retirement. In the midst of living out our life there may come a time when we are baffled, surprised about a personal condition that we find we have no control. In our mind we try and figure out what is wrong with us. What is happening to us. And for the sake of an example, which I personally know best–been there done that–I painfully discovered I was depressed and getting myself deeper into the dark pit as I continued to ruminate uselessly on what I had and how to escape this terrible pain. The more I ruminated and worried the more I isolated myself. I wanted to know if I was losing my mind, had a brain cancer or some new and incurable disease.

Because I already was a member of another12 Step program of recovery, it was obvious, that the Big Book of their fellowship, outlined step by step the nature of our illness and gave a detailed program of recovery on how to live with the interminable effects and symptoms of my illness. The manual worked whereas before I was powerless to get anything to work for me that could change my life.

And then Depressed Anonymous was founded and I soon discovered there was a manual for this illness that was working for other persons depressed so why couldn’t it work for me. It was depression that seemed to have me by the throat with its innumerable symptoms. Just as those who put out cook books with hundreds of recipes, I found the perfect recipe, or detailed instructions, on how to leave the prison of my depression. And the best part of this Manual, Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition, was that there was a group discussion meeting that talked about these helpful and healing instructions. If you were experiencing depression these steps would work for any one else as well.

Don’t get me wrong, I do not want you, the reader, to think we are minimizing the “life threatening “ issues that go with the depression experience by using the mechanic and cook book analogies. But if I had not had access to this Manual with its detailed information on how to get well and to feel better ( by the way–all our material is written by people like me–depressed and in recovery), I probably would have struggled longer and who knows what would have become of me.

Our recipe for wellness can be located at The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore. Also go to the Website Menu (depressedanon.com) and check out our HOME STUDY PROGRAM. Anyone can use this Manual, Depressed Anonymous and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook together if a Depressed Anonymous group is not in one’s area.

DA Literature

YOUR SELF-CARE PORTFOLIO, INCORPORATE HOME STUDY PROGRAM IN TREATMENT PLAN

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Skills and tools  to help  you recover from your depression.

As the name suggests, when it comes to self care, you are in the driver’s seat. The steps you take and the decisions you make in every aspect of your life–nutrition, sleep, exercise, relaxation, even a hobby or a friendship – will help determine how well your depression responds to treatment. In this section of the website you’ ll find information on each of the key components of self-care:

Educating yourself – learn the facts about your diagnosis and your treatment plan.

Sleep- take steps to develop healthier sleep habits.

Exercise – physical activity is a critical component to emotional wellness. Learn how to develop an exercise program that’s right for you.

Nutrition – learn more  about good nutrition, and develop your own healthy eating plan. (DASH  )

Sticking with your plan- do what it takes to follow your treatment plan.

Managing Stress – learn to identify the signs of stress, and find out about the many different techniques you can try to manage it.

Positive self talk – learn how to recognize negative or unproductive thought patterns and turn them around

Journaling – learn the benefits of writing down your thoughts and feelings, and how to get started keeping a journal.

Spirituality – find out what’s involved in developing your own spiritual  practice, and why many people find it helpful.

Support systems – think about the role  other people play in your recovery, and what you can do to build a strong support system,

Coping at work – develop  strategies for staying healthy and productive on the job.

Setting goals – understand  the importance of setting goals, and learn how to make goal -setting work for you.

SOURCES : Home Study Program – Online support program, using a sponsor and working the 12 Steps and spiritual principles via emails.  Depressed Anonymous Home Study Program utilizing the Depressed Anonymous Workbook and the Depressed Anonymous Manual.

Sources: Self-care depression Program: Antidepressant Skills Workbook. And tools for recovery at MENU WEBSITE ( Depressedanon.com.)

 

 

12 Step Meeting, Fellowship, The 12 Steps

“Depressed Anonymous is a light to guide me.”

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Dear All,

I have been very busy lately, out living life, and I wanted  y’all  to know that just being on this Blog subscription list and reading the shares and the “Big Book” of Depressed Anonymous has helped me tremendously to not fall into depression in blind denial as was my custom,. Two things are helping  me.

“do the next right thing”

“motivation follows action”

Thank you so much for being here!

Also for the first time I can handle flashbacks from PTSD more easily because I am not depressed. I even had more repressed memory come up. I was depressed for about a day and a half and then got sick of it and got up and went back to my daily life. It  is a miracle! Thank you, thank you, thank you…I believe I am  on the path that leads to depression being something that I used to struggle with so mightily. I don’t think I’m cured, just that Depressed Anonymous is a light to guide me, to keep  me on the path to wellness….

Trish.”

The Antidepressant Tablet.

A     Comment

Thanks to you Trish,  for your thoughts and your enthusiastic response to the  power of the 12 steps of Depressed Anonymous at work in your own  life.  And yes, the mutual aid support group  which we  fondly know  as Depressed Anonymous  group  has participants thought out the world.  It  has come a long way since it was founded in 1985, Truly, the group is like the “mustard seed” of the Gospels. Our BIG BOOK  is being translated into Dutch, Spanish, Iranian(Persian). It has already been translated into Russian and now made available to those in Eastern Europe who speak Russian.

All of us who use  the Steps of recovery can give thanks to Bill W., and Bob S., the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous (1939).All of us in the program continue to stand on the shoulders of these two giants, plus those who were the first members of this healing initiative.

I personally can say that my own recovery and the life I lead now  would not have been possible if I had not become a member  of a 12 Step  recovery program and lived my life around the Promises of the Steps.

You might want to participate in our online HOME STUDY PROGRAM  where you will be able to work your own program using the DA Workbook and Manual (BIG BOOK). The online program works via emails and  correspondence that are set up between you and the sponsor.

You can find out more about this personal recovery effort by clicking onto the Depressed Anonymous Publications website  www.depressedanon.com. At the Site menu, you can use the drop down individual menu HOME STUDY PROGRAM, and learn how to order the materials and then start your own program using these two books. Trish, would be happy that you will find the serenity and hope that she has found.

Hugh

 

Despair

The difference between depression and despair is…

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The difference between depression and despair is that despair is static, whereas depression, underneath its lassitude, is all about transformation. Depression is a temporary opting-opt, to enable you to adjust to life more successfully. The process has its own dynamic, like water, and you can float on its surface, if you trust its buoyancy.

Despair is much more  dangerous because it insists on a fixed position. Even when adopted as part of an intellectual fashion, it doesn’t  allow for a way out of its own stance.  It won’t release you, as depression  does, as a matter of course. No doubt it has its pleasures, but it’s a mask that merges eventually with your face..

When despair is a statue, depression is a waterfall.

For wisdom moves more easily than motion itself; she is so pure she pervades and permeates all things…she is but one, yet can do all things, herself unchanging, she makes all things new.”

The Wisdom of Solomon, Chapter 7: 24-25, 27. The Apocrypha. The Revised English Bible.

* Comment: “…depression is a temporary opting out..” is a great way to say that I am no longer able to stay focused on what is before me…only what is past and what lies in the future. I cannot and will not stay in the present. My opting out is a way of saying I am attempting to  gather my thoughts and senses, so that I can figure out why I feel the way I do and what is the way out for me. I need this time away from me and my pain to lick my wounds.  I was trying to escape and run from whatever was  chasing me.

Hugh

Choice, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Focus, Higher Power, Journaling, The 12 Steps, Victim Thinking

If you want to eat an elephant, the best way to do it is one bite at a time

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The following quotation is taken from our “Big Book” Depressed Anonymous (3rd edition) as it appears on page 95.

“All of us who are substance addicted (compulsivre overeating, alcohol, cocaine, pre- scription medication) or process addicted–addicted to a behavior ( the workaholic, sex, gambling, depression) know that in order to free ourselves from the intoxicating experience, we have to first want to give it up and live without it.  We best do this   one day or one hour at a time. Don’t say you will quit a self-destructive behavior for one year at a time and see how you do. No, trying to live one day at a time is a lot easier.  As someone once said “if you want to eat an elephant, the best way to do it is one day at a time.” We know from past experience that our  sobriety, our disappearance of sadness is due to letting go and admitting my powerlessness over my sadness. It  is turning it over to my Higher Power and letting it take care of my sadness. I can’t do anything to remove my compulsive behavior until I choose to live without it.”

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If you happen to be part of our HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY, you will want to turn to page 80 of the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Both the Manual and the Workbook come together as important tools in overcoming our attachment to the ruminations and isolation that depression brings upon us.

“All of our efforts so far in this Workbook have been directed toward overcoming  –cleaning house if you will —so that our will might be properly disposed to God’s will and that we might feel free and no longer hopeless. We know that our enthusiasm to change will grow the more we desire that change. The more we change the more  we will cast off the shackles from our lives that keep us imprisoned and isolated.”

COMMENT  Like the quote of how to eat an elephant, we also are most aware that you can’t just wish to get rid  of an obsession or addiction, it takes time and work–one day at a time. There is no easy or comfortable way to battle our demons except through work, prayer and meditation. And for me, one of the best ways to overcome my addictions is to use the 12 spiritual principles of the 12 Steps every day of my life. And again, it’s one bite, one step at a time.  Don’t wait. Do something today. Don’t tell yourself the lie, “I’ll do it when I feel better.” Take the plunge.  If there is no meeting in your  community then work with a DA sponsor/guide and participate in our HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY. Go to the main site depressedanon.com  menu under the title HOME STUDY PROGRAM. The program is operating presently.

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SOURCES:   The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002) Depressed Anonymous          Publications. Louisville. Page 80.

                             Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 95.

Please click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore for more helpful literature on THE HOME STUDY PROGRAM OF RECOVERY  and information on how to order online.

If you would like to participate in the Home Study, please contact the director at [email protected]. Thank you.

 

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship

When I am “powerless” I feel out of control.

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During my depression   I was “powerless“.  I no longer had the ability to bounce back from my ongoing ruminations about how bad I felt. The more that I tried to figure out why I was feeling so bad and horrible,  the intensity  deepened. The more that my thoughts circled around in my head the more despair I felt.  I felt hopeless. All I was able to do was lay down and sleep, hoping against hope that my anxiety and fear would disappear. But no, they only intensified my despair. I knew that I had to do something. I had to get my body in motion. I had to talk to someone. I had to DO something besides sit at home and think, think and think some more.

I gradually discovered that my  thoughts produce feelings, feelings produce moods and my  moods produce behaviors. In my case. the behavior was to do nothing, The one thing that I did do, was to begin to isolate from family and friends. This deepened my anxiety and frustration. I knew about talking with someone and so I contacted a friend who was in another 12 Step fellowship. We call these friends sponsors. And so it was in talking with a sponsor that I gradually dug myself out of the hole that I was in. I quit digging.

Today, at the present we have some persons who have decided to do something about their depression and pain–they have begun to participate in our HOME STUDY PROGRAM of recovery. This program is a one to one relationship with a sponsor. All one has to do is sign up  and contact us here at depressedanon.com. There are no fees or dues just a willingness to learn all they can about depression and their  own depression experience,   while  utilizing both  the Depressed Anonymous Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Both can be found by clicking onto the Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore here at this website.

For more information as to how this Home Study works, please read more at Newsletters, the Antidepressant Tablet. You can read how Kim found us on her computer and is now engaged  in getting herself free of the shackles of depression.

She is longer powerless.

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+++For more information please contact me at  [email protected].