Category Archives: DA Literature

I will continue to have faith in myself

France’s way out of depression.

“I joined DA in 1988. At that time, I was totally depressed, with no interest in anything or anyone, and especially no interest in myself. I felt I had no worth, a feeling  I am sure that I had for many years, as  a very young child.

Having lived with this feeling for so many years, I guess I thought this was normal, probably most people felt the same way. I had all the symptoms of depression but I know nothing about the sickness except to live with it, which I have found to be a terrible fate, until I discovered Depressed Anonymous.

I attend the Depressed Anonymous meetings quite regularly. I have found that if I can attend the meetings regularly, I get the support of the members, who I have found to have about the same kind of problems as I have, maybe not quite as bad as mine, but I guess each of us feels that our problems are worse that anyone  else’s, I know mine are.  But with the regular meetings and my friends support, I find that I am able to manage pretty well from week to week. I have more faith in myself since I work the Twelve Steps the best that I can and trust my Higher Power  (God) with all my heart. I pray to the fullest extent that I will continue to have faith in myself and others. I have become a more human being than I have ever been. I work a lot, I volunteer a lot and have a far better outlook on life than I have ever had, and I attribute all of these good feelings to DA.

I just hope that I will always be able to attend DA meetings regularly and wish people had the opportunity to do the same. DA has helped me so much. I cannot begin to explain sufficiently the support the meetings  can give one who is depressed.

DA has been and is my salvation and I know the Twelve Step program is the only way to go to get one on the right track and it takes the meetings to keep you there. They are a “godsend” for me and I know for a lot of others who are depressed also.

I thank DA and my Higher Power for a life worth living.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (Personal Stories)


NOTE: For more information about the  12 Step literature, please VISIT THE STORE  here at our website.

I am responsible for me!

Higher Thoughts for Down Days

I am responsible for me!

“Responsibility is the name of the game in recovery… people who want to change begin to swallow their pride and ask for help.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

The ability to respond to the truth of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous comes particularly forceful when we have hit bottom in our lives and there seems to be no way out of what troubles us. This is where I begin to take responsibility for myself and ask others for help. Who is the best person to ask for help when you are depressed? Obviously, it’s that person who ha been where you are now. I believe that one of the biggest assets of being a member of Depressed Anonymous is the fact that so many people begin to live with happiness, peace, and hope after they have given up control of their lives to the Higher Power.  They indeed have hit bottom and there is no way for them  but up.

To say that my life is out of control is usually hard for any of us to have to admit. The pride that said that I had to please everyone to be happy, or in order to get other’s approval, had to do everything perfect, has resulted  in my depressing myself until I can hardly stand it. Now that I am telling it like it is and I begin to accept myself as I am and refuse to  let other’s opinions of myself overwhelm or dictate life to me, I begin to feel better.

MEDITATION

God, put your love into our hearts and your guidance into our minds as we struggle, day after day, to live with the understanding that we can only do your will by beginning to be responsible for ourselves.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step Fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 244.

Childhood messages: how are they working for you today?

In the  Depressed Anonymous Workbook, we are asked a very important question included in STEP FIVE.

AT 5.1 the question is asked:  As a child did you get a message that if you were good and did everything that you were supposed to do that you would end up happy and everything would go your way?  (The Workbook then asks you to write out your response.) For all of us, who are experiencing depression, this is a very important question. I myself have often wondered how the messages of childhood are working for us now that we are adults.

STEP FIVE is about intimacy and the sharing of one’s  innermost self with its secrets to that other human being. This is something that we hate that we would much rather snuggle back into our little corner and keep all knotted up in the addiction to our misery. In STEP FOUR we learned about getting it straight within ourselves so that we looked into every nook and cranny inside ourselves that kept us from being honest with ourselves, our God and all the other human beings that we have shared our story with.

For that personal experience of our lives, as we see it, can be obtained by spending time with the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. You will be amazed  by the feelings that come up and present themselves as we work through our lives using the Twelve Steps as a roadmap of life.

Depression is different from normal sadness

Depression cannot be reduced to a single factor. It is the result of the coinciding of different factors. Biological, historical, environmental and psychological factors play a certain role in the beginning and its evolution.

Many people never reach a state of clinical depression. Such depression, with the feeling of paralysis that it involves, is different from normal sadness. People with clinical depression, in general, demonstrate physical and psychic alterations; people who are not depressed manifest certain mental signs of sadness.

In addition, people often confuse depression with unhappiness. often one can hear the phrase “I feel depressed’, even though the person concerned only wants to say that he or she is not happy. Until, one has really experienced depression one cannot realize the enormous, difference that exists between being depressed and being unhappy. When we are unhappy, despite the scale of the tragedy that has afflicted us, we remain in contact with reality. When other people offer us consolation and love we can still feel gratitude for their warmth and support. But when we are depressed we feel like people who are excluded from the rest of the world. The comfort and love offered by other people do not penetrate our barrier and we feel neither consoled or loved. To experience real depression means to feel entrapped in pitch or suffocated by some dense, heavy material or buried alive in a dark tunnel. The depressed person is interested in nothing and nobody, and does not feel any hope.”

SOURCE: Jose Saraiva Martins


Comment: If you are a depressed person and are reading this you know the guy who is writing the above material knows what he is talking about. But, if you are a person who has been unhappy but never depressed, it is impossible for you to even begin to fathom what he is talking about. ” Yes”, you might say, “but I don’t see any plaster casts, no sign of physical brokenness and the guy or gal is always happy. You know, the life of the party.”

There is a night and day difference between being depressed and being unhappy. I know, as I have been depressed. I also have been very unhappy as well. Being depressed is a life threatening illness and for many the trajectory can lead to suicide preceded by thinking that is hopeless and suicidal.

The person who has experienced depression themselves and who seeks help to climb out of the dark pit now has friends in the Depressed Anonymous fellowship of the 12 steps. The new person coming into our group soon learns that the members know about the depression experience. Some have talked about trying to commit suicide.

My point is that persons depressed live in a world that they cannot touch, a world which they are viewing from the insides of an enclosed soundproof glass room. They are completely isolated and adrift — floating alone in a river of turbulence and dangerous currents. And when the time comes to flee this pain and isolation they run to the people who say they know what depression is. They also have a “toolkit” which they continue to use in their daily lives which helps them to forever stay out of that glass enclosed room. I am one of those persons who never returned to that past time in my life when I felt totally alone, without friends, purpose or meaning in my life. I owe my life to Depressed Anonymous and its powerful focus on hope instead of hopelessness.

Hugh

“We can’t blame it on our genes, hormones or a chemical imbalance.”

AFFIRMATION

I am taking full responsibility for myself and I am making a commitment to my own health and healing.

“Now that we have learned that we have to take care of ourselves and our recovery that we begin to look at the way we think and feel.  Even though we don’t want to blame ourselves for having been depressed most of our lives, we know now that we are responsible for finding a way out of this depression. We can’t blame it on our genes, hormones or a chemical imbalance.

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I am aware for the first time since I have been working my program that my thinking is cyclical in that my negative thoughts constantly keep going around and around in circles. I have found that I need to stop the negative self-destructive thinking that has dogged me most of my life. I am able to break the cycle of hurt and my own self-inflicted pain and come to my senses. I do have some good things going for me and I plan to use these good character traits as building blocks for a future filled with hope.

I am learning to take good care of myself. I am more interested in my own self-care than  I am of what others around me want or need.  I am not being selfish as much as I am being concerned about my own growth and development. In the Third Step we declare that  “we made a decision to turn  our wills and our minds over to the care  of God as we understand God.  To be in the care of someone means that they are concerned about us and are burdened with a concern for us.

MEDITATION

“Restore our fortunes, O God, like the torrents in the southern desert that those that sow in tears shall reap rejoicing. Although they go forth weeping, carrying the seed to be sown, they shall come back rejoicing, carrying their sheaves. ” Psalm  126.

SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve Step fellowships. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step #2 of Depressed Anonymous

How true. Sometimes when one comes to a 12 Step meeting such as Depressed Anonymous for the first time, and listens to the members stories, we hear  possibly for the first time that there is hope for me too. That is the beauty of attending a meeting where people who are recovering from depression talk about how their lives are getting better and their good days are more frequent. Thanks to the mutual aid group, which for some is their Higher Power, they  soon discover that if others who are/ or were depressed, even suicidal, that they too will have a chance at getting their lives back on track.

Hope is the result of working the Steps.

SOURCE: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (Personal stories)

To thine own self first be true. Honesty is the best policy

“If I were asked what in my opinion was the most important factor in being successful in the program besides following the Twelve Steps, I would say  honesty. And the most important person to be honest with is yourself…(Bill W., cofounder of AA )

And now back to our Depressed Anonymous Workbook where we continue to clarify our  thinking about the individual Steps and our relationship to them,. We are presently focusing on Step Eleven. (See: The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville)

   Step  Eleven  states “Sought  through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry it out.”

The following are some questions that you may like to ask yourselves as you continue walking on the path to freedom. In question 12. 9  We are asked  an answer for the following question:  How  has your honesty with yourself made your life more free and more fulfilled with hopeWrite down the areas of your life where you feel your honesty has paid the richest dividends? How has honesty made your life less needful of pleasing others so that  they will like you more?

  Your response here.

12.10 How does our own honesty help us carry the message to others still hurting?

Your response here.

When I run from my fearful feelings I know they have already caught me in their web!

A Higher Thought for Today

” I am going to feel my emotions today and refuse to run when I begin to feel sad and uncomfortable.

Accepting a depression is the opposite of being victimized by it, since it is a choice not to run in panic, not to be frightened into virtual paralysis.  Think of it this way: When we are truly afraid, we can in no way be said to accept our fear; the minute we do, the fright eases. So with depression. When we accept it, the terror lessens.

I used to stuff my feelings when I ran into a situation that frightened me. I also would refuse to experience any emotion that would cause me to feel uncomfortable. I am finding that the more I express myself and share with others the feelings of sadness which seemed to have plagued me since birth, the more I feel cheered and hopeful.  The opposite of fear is faith.  In this program of recovery I need to keep in touch with my Higher Power and keep a daily dialogue going with this Power so that I will continue to grow in hope and health.  Fear keeps depression alive and growing. My faith allows me to risk a life without sadness  even though my inclination is to seek the comfort of the unchanging sadness.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. (1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

PROMISE # 5 of Depressed Anonymous: “No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we see how our experience can benefit others.”

Some of us have attempted suicide. A few of us more than a few times.  We had despaired of ever finding peace or hope.  We believed that we had no future and that our yesterdays were as hopeless as our today’s. It was hard to attend our  first Depressed Anonymous meeting.  We felt horribly alone. We just know that no one in the group has been through what we had been through. But as we listened and watched the older members of the group speak we saw ourselves in their stories.

Personally, I believe that whatever you give out to others is the amount that comes back to you. Our experience can usually help someone else.  As the experience of depression is so isolating, so predictable in its misery  that it is bound to have made such impression upon us that it changed out life and the way we think about our life. And then when our life is changed for the better —thanks to the fellowship of DA, this precious gift  of hope needs to be with those still suffering. Ironically, it appears that the farther we have gone down in mood and up again in our recovery the more powerful can this experience be.

The new members of the our fellowship see the “after” of our lives lived in recovery and so they themselves get involved in our fellowship. The fact that we have recovered so completely is in itself a message of tremendous hope for those who are newcomers to the group. Isn’t it amazing that those who can do the most for those still suffering are those who have worked themselves out of the pit of isolation and begin sharing their story of hope and personal empowerment.”

SOURCE: I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 39-40.

Promise # 11. “Intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.”

As my mind began to heal and my thoughts became more lucid it became apparent  that something inside of myself was changing. Depression, when you begin to examine the various symptoms up close and deal with them, the experience becomes less threatening. Some say that depression is a collection of behaviors that are brought  into play to defend  us against things that are too painful to face. Also, depression results when a love object is lost through death or that one feels abandoned. We have become so at one with our love object, that we mourn the death of part of us.  The love object and ourselves has become one. I believe we use the word co-dependence today.

At first I was frightened by my various symptoms of depression. The symptoms proved to be baffling. I was not able to get out of bed as well as being unable to concentrate or manage a complex thought.  I began to worry that I was losing my mind and I often asked myself if I was going to survive. But now my ability to handle situations in a meaningful way is due to my  frequent attendance at meetings, and by making a daily time for prayer and meditation and feeling that my life has purpose and meaning.  The more I am physically active  and going to meetings even when I don’t feel like it. Working on my Depressed Anonymous Workbook, reading my Twelve Step literature. The behavior is where my freedom begins. And yes, I do feel lousy at times, but I also know that nothing can stand in my way to make choices in my own behalf. Previous to my involvement with the group I had no idea that depression was not so powerful now as to prevent me from even thinking that I could choose to feel differently.”  (Read more tomorrow on Promise # 11.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) I’LL DO  IT  WHEN I FEEL BETTER.  (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 50-51.