Category Archives: Helpful Thinking

I believe that misery is an option

“If surrender of our wills to the ‘care of God’ is of the essence of the spiritual life, for anyone who truly desires to free themselves from a chronic and compulsive behavior such as depression, then the Twelve Steps can be your stepping stones to the path of a hope filled life.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I used to hear the word “surrender” as it made me feel like I was in the hands and under the total domination of another.  It was like I had no control whatsoever as to what I was to do or what I was to be. I was blind to the fact that in reality I had already surrendered my life to my sadness so that whenever I wanted to hide, or isolate myself, I just saddened myself and  so didn’t have to feel anything. I am surrendering to the God of my understanding;  slowly my life is filling with light and hope and this is what I really want for myself. I am finding that the ‘care of God’ is much better than anything I could ever  wished for.  My life is one filled with hope rather than being hopeless.

The spiritual life for me is filled with the excitement of knowing that  this God of mine, as I understand him, is  today wanting to lead me further into the light of his healing power. My spiritual life is filled  now with a close and personal relationship with a God who loves and guides me on a minute-to-minute basis.

MEDITATION

We are going to get as close to God today as we choose to get.


SOURCE:  Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups.  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 257-258. December 29.

Spirituality requires risk

Alcoholism (depression) and addiction , characterized as they are by the rigid clinging of obsession and compulsion, help us to understand the experience of release. Perhaps the greatest paradox in the story of spirituality is the mystical insight that we are able to experience release only if we let ourselves go. This is the paradox of surrender. Surrender begins with the acceptance that we are not in control of the matter at hand –in fact, we are not in absolute control of anything. Thus the experience of surrender involves the “letting in” of reality that becomes possible only when we are ready to “let go” of our illusions and pretensions (our unreality).

If surrender is the act of “letting go” the experience of conversion can be understood as the hinge on which the act swings – it is the turning point, the turning from “denial” as a way of seeing things to acceptance of the reality revealed in surrender. The self-centeredness that reflects a false relationship with reality, and that false relationship begins with distorted seeing, with some kind of false understanding about the nature of reality and our relationship with it. Breaking through that denial and confronting reality is what members of Alcoholics Anonymous and Depressed Anonymous mean by “hitting bottom.”

The experience or release most frequently comes at the point of exhaustion, at the moment when we “give up” our efforts to just be…

What blocks release more than anything else is the refusal to “let go” that comes from the demand for security, for certainty, for assured results. Release, like spirituality, requires risk.”


SOURCE: The Spirituality of Imperfection. (1992) Ernest Kurtz and Katherine Ketchum. Bantam, NY. , Page 173.

How Depressed Anonymous Works

This  following is read at each and every meeting of Depressed Anonymous.

“You are about to witness the miracle of the group. You are joining a group of people who are on a journey of  hope  and who mutually care for each other.  You will hear how hope, light and energy have been regained by those who were hopeless and in a  black hole and tired of living.

By our involvement in the group, we are feeling that there is hope – there is a chance for me too – I can get better. But we are not the  people with the magic pills and the easy formula for success. We believe that to get out of the prison of depression takes time and work.

We all have been wounded in different degrees by the experience of depression. We also know that there is a method to regain control over our lives that is practical and workable.  It is successful for all those who want to change their lives. Some of us believed that there was no hope and that suicide was the only way out.

In this natural world, one of the first laws is that all growth is gradual – that belief is the bottom line for all of us who are depressed and who want to get better.  The more we attend meetings, the more we will learn and see the various ways to escape from depression. We also learn how important it is not to give up on ourselves.”


SOURCE:   Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Depression dies in the light of discussion

One of the 15 Statements of Belief in  Believing is Seeing : 15 ways to leave the prison of depression, tells us  in Statement # 9 that ” Withdrawing from friends and other social contacts is the first clue that you are slipping back into the isolation and pain of depression. Move toward a friend, get a sponsor and  go to a 12 Step  meeting. Ask your Higher Power for that nudge that can guide you onto the appropriate path.”

There are two times that we need to go to a meeting. One, when we don’t want to go to a meeting and secondly when we want to go to a meeting. From my own personal experience I can share with you that it’s when I go to my meetings that I am always able to come away from  it with something positive to think about.  I can always say that I feel better after a DA meeting. I know in my heart that when I just want to sit at home by myself and ruminate within my own head all the horrible things that have happened to me, are about to happen to me and are happening to me now, the more I find that I depress myself.

It’s our addictive thinking, our compulsive way of processing negative information,  which means that we habitually store the negative and dump the positive inflow of information and that gets us wanting to fall back into the old habit of staying isolated and avoiding others. We might fool ourselves and say that people have nothing to offer me so that I distance myself from everyone. Part of my nature when depressed is to avoid and distance myself from whatever I feel is threatening, like a child afraid of the dark.

I can only do what God wants me to do and I find out what this is by spending time alone with my God in meditation.  Whatever we do, we need to know that our isolation and our withdrawing from friends and family, is an environment by which our depression can grow strong. Depression dies in the light of discussion.

SOURCES:

Copyright (c)Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2015) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Copyright (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications, L0uisville.

Copyright (c)Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step Fellowship groups. ( 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

 VISIT THE STORE FOR MORE LITERATURE.

We are not the people with the magic pills and the easy formula for success

The following instruction, How Depressed Anonymous Works, is read at every Depressed Anonymous meeting.

“You are about to witness the miracle of the group. You are joining a group of people who are on a journey of hope and who mutually care for each other. You will hear how hope, light and energy have been regained by those who were hopeless and in a  black hole and tired of living.

By our involvement in the group we are feeling that there is hope – there is a chance for me too – I can get better. But we are not the people with the magic pills and the easy formula for success. We believe that to get  out of depression takes time and work.”

And so at each and every Depressed Anonymous meeting the group listens as we hear what it will take to escape from the prison of depression.

Also at every meeting of the fellowship we hear how by using the spiritual tools, our Twelve Steps, we can gradually find the path that will and can lead us out into the light of freedom.”

SOURCES:  Copyright(c) I’ll do it when I feel better. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

The following  books listed below indicate the “toolbox” by  which  one can find the path that leads  out of depression.

Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE for more information on available literature.

The human experience of depression

“It is my belief that the experience  that we call human depression, can very much be like the early designation of alcoholism as partly an allergy as well as being a mental obsession. And depression is very much like alcoholism, in that it very much causes the sufferer much the same symptoms, namely, feelings of being isolated, lonely, angry and  in a   deep dark pit, hopeless and helpless. Also, the depressed who decides to become more isolated and alone likewise digs a hole just a little more deeply. The fellowship of the program is combined with a belief that a power greater than oneself is ultimately what is going to save the person depressed from killing themselves  or floundering in a morass of self-will, resentments and self-pity. Many depressed basically are afraid of people and so tend not to trust others. They also hold a negative view of themselves and think themselves unacceptable to others and to themselves. (P.3)

In primitive human kind there was a system in one’s physical makeup that helped a primitive relative of ours flee or fight when danger approached.  In those days the person faced with a mortal danger got the adrenaline flowing that enabled the pursued to evade his/her captor. It also gave the pursued victim  the energy  to fight and overcome the adversary. In today’s world the days of being pursued by some ferocious tiger or beast is not our problem. But we are still pursued and the fear of the consequences of being caught by whatever is pursuing us  shoots the chemicals  into  our blood stream just as it did in our ancestors – with one major difference — our fears, anxieties, continual worries keep pumping those juices through our system until we are too tired to flee or even to fight. However it happens, the result is that our bodies suffer the damage of the stress of continual unpleasant emotions and feelings coursing through our veins.  We are at war with ourselves and depression is the last wall of defense in which the body says I need to take a rest from all this stress and so I surrender. I am closing down. I don’t want to fight any longer. And when one begins to feel a little better and the energy of one’s spirit starts to flow back into us again and we start  to feel renewed and it is here that our old ghost of fear starts to feel renewed and it is here that our old ghost of fear starts speaking to us saying “Hey, don’t trust this feeling of beginning to feel better. Stay with what you have — at least it’s predictable. At least you know what you have. Don’t try to change anything as you might get something far worse than what you have now.”  (P.5).

SOURCE:   Depressed Once -Not Twice: The  autobiography of a spiritual journey out of depression.  (2000) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. (Pages 3, 5).

Comment:  In this important work, the founder of Depressed Anonymous the author shows us that even in the midst of the pain, isolation and a mental paralysis of will, the 12 Steps provide a plan,, a program of recovery. The author shows how by using the Steps himself in overcoming his own experience of depression that these same Steps  can now be used by those “still suffering from depression.

I am responsible for me!

Higher Thoughts for Down Days

I am responsible for me!

“Responsibility is the name of the game in recovery… people who want to change begin to swallow their pride and ask for help.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

The ability to respond to the truth of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous comes particularly forceful when we have hit bottom in our lives and there seems to be no way out of what troubles us. This is where I begin to take responsibility for myself and ask others for help. Who is the best person to ask for help when you are depressed? Obviously, it’s that person who ha been where you are now. I believe that one of the biggest assets of being a member of Depressed Anonymous is the fact that so many people begin to live with happiness, peace, and hope after they have given up control of their lives to the Higher Power.  They indeed have hit bottom and there is no way for them  but up.

To say that my life is out of control is usually hard for any of us to have to admit. The pride that said that I had to please everyone to be happy, or in order to get other’s approval, had to do everything perfect, has resulted  in my depressing myself until I can hardly stand it. Now that I am telling it like it is and I begin to accept myself as I am and refuse to  let other’s opinions of myself overwhelm or dictate life to me, I begin to feel better.

MEDITATION

God, put your love into our hearts and your guidance into our minds as we struggle, day after day, to live with the understanding that we can only do your will by beginning to be responsible for ourselves.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 Step Fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 244.

Depression is the greatest misery…

Depression is the greatest misery, for in it we’re alone in a  prison from which there seems to be no escape. When we have a physical illness, no matter how great our pain, at times we can separate ourselves from our suffering and feel close to other people, sharing a joke, feeling loved and comforted. But when we’re in the prison of depression, and there is always a barrier between ourselves and other people.

People who are depressed describe this prison in many different pictures: “I am at the bottom of a black pit.”  “I’m locked in a dungeon and they’ve  thrown away the key.”  “I’m inside a black balloon and as much as I struggle, I can’t escape.” “I’m  alone in an icy desert.”   “I’m totally alone, and a great black bird is  on my shoulders, weighing me down.”  The pictures are many and various, but the meaning is always the same. The person is alone in a prison.

Even worse, inside the prison of  depression, we  turn against ourselves in self-hatred. We torture ourselves with guilt, shame, fear and anger. We tell ourselves that we shall never escape from the prison, and indeed, in some way, we do not want to leave the prison. It is torture. It is safety.

The prison of depression is torture because it is isolation, the one form of torture which as all tortured know,  will break even the strongest person.  But it is safety because the walls of the prison shut out most of the things which threaten to overwhelm us and cause our very self to shatter and disappear.”

SOURCE:  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. ( Foreword by Dorothy Rowe, Ph.D., Page 11.)

Asking the right questions delivers some important answers!

QUESTION #1

“Now that I have admitted  I am having a difficult time living I want to learn some new avenues that will make my life more enjoyable and much more livable.

Some of the major ways people help build the walls of their depression  are to consider themselves worthless, won’t allow themselves to be angry, they can’t forgive themselves or others, and they believe that  life is hard and death is worse. Also, they believe that since bad things happened to them in the past, bad thigs will happen to them in the future.”

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) DAP. Page 7. Question 1.2

Respond how you might relate to the statement above. The five immutable beliefs as Dorothy Rowe calls them, are part of so many persons depression and they aren’t even aware that these beliefs  have anything to do with their depression experience.

YOUR ANSWER HERE

QUESTION #2

“What kind of meaning do you need to find which would enable you to master your experience  and so allow you to get on with your life?” The Depression Handbook. Dorothy Rowe. Page 318.

YOUR ANSWER HERE

QUESTION # 3

“What  have you learned from your experience of depression which you feel would be helpful to other people?” Dorothy Rowe, in the Depression Handbook. Page 318.

YOUR ANSWER HERE

…something powerful is starting to blossom within me

 Promise  #12 states that “We would suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.”

I believe that this Promise is at the core of our recovery. It is precisely at this moment in our lives that we realize that somebody, someone greater than myself is guiding me. This someone is not forcing us but is guiding us through our darkness.  It is lighting our path so we neither stumble or regress into our old ways of thinking and behaving. It is with this in mind that we continually redirect our attention to have that desire to do its will.

Before we discovered the program of Depressed Anonymous we were convinced that the only chance that we had to get better was to wait while the prescribed drugs kicked in and then everything would be all right.   But now we are certain that our ability to get well is surely based on how much we develop the belief that we can choose how we feel and think. Indeed we are now convinced that we can either sad ourselves or choose not to sad ourselves. We have a choice.

The community and bonds of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship produce a feeling that just as other members of the group are recovering so can I. We must be willing to let go of all thoughts that tell us we will   never get well. These are the same thoughts that have imprisoned us over the years.

We now listen to the God of our understanding and proceed with the belief that what we hold about the world on the outside of us is determined and governed by the world that is lived within us. We are in a brand new way, on a new path, and find ourselves committed to a fresh belief that something powerful is starting to blossom within me.  A peace that surpasses all understanding is beginning to be born in us when we learn to relax,  wait and listen for that still small voice.”


SOURCES:  (c) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(c) The Promises of Depressed Anonymous: Planting a seedbed of Hope. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 25.