Category Archives: The 12 Steps

Belief, Choice, Depressed Anonymous, Focus, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Purpose, The 12 Steps

A Most Effective Strategy

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AFFIRMATION

I will be a better person today than the person I was yesterday.

“The first step to change is to see  it is as possible in our scheme of things. The next step is to accept and cope with the anger and frustration that change bring ..coping with anxiety involves accepting it into awareness and permitting its full expression.  This may not lead to a comfortable stare in the short run, but in the long turn it is a most effective strategy.(6)

  CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I believe that all growth is gradual and that each day I have only twenty-four hours in which to live out my life.  In these twenty four hours I can get a lot  accomplished in my efforts to surrender my need to be dependent upon my depression. My depression will no longer be an excuse that keeps me from starting my recovery program.

I know from personal experience that my life is very different from the way that it was before I turned my life over to my Higher Power. (Step 2 of Depressed Anonymous)  Now I can live with the belief that this power is going to walk with me. I can now be assured that life is going to get better for me. It is better already.  Since this program of Depressed Anonymous is spiritual, I know that my healing of my depression is accomplished by my desire to let God, as I understand him, direct my life. (Step 3 of Depressed Anonymous).

The program  of the Twelve Steps has no pat answers  and it will not allow you to be comfortable where you are–in fact it will cause you to want to move out of the prison of your depression and into the light of daily efforts to change.

MEDITATION

God, we are aware that this day and this day alone we are going to trust in you and we will commit  ourselves to you so  that we might commit ourselves to a positive change in our attitudes.

SOURCE: Copyright: HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS. Depressed Anonymous Publications  Louisville  Page 90. May 3rd.

Acceptance, Belief, Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Focus, The 12 Steps

My Inner Most Thoughts Are Stepping Stones

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A HIGHER THOUGHT FOR TODAY

AFFIRMATION

I am going to think of my inner most thoughts as stepping stones to a better and more positive way to live my life.

“In the ancient secret Gnostic Gospels Jesus is reported as saying, ‘If you bring forth what is within you, what you  bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is in you, what you do not bring forth  will destroy you.'”(6)

  CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

My sad thoughts which I continually run around in my mind keep me enslaved to inaction and a feeling of being trapped.  I want to let these thoughts  out so that I will be able to look at them and see them for what they are  —  the empty fears that have no power when placed out in the light of day. I believe that the more I express my fears to another, the less powerful they are and the less control they have over my life.

I am going to accept the fact that I have every right to be part of this universe and I am going to do everything in my power to achieve a sense of security and happiness for myself.  The first step  where “We admitted that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable” is what will free me in time from the prison of my depression.

When we get in touch with what we fear, we can get in touch with ourselves. By doing this, we find a way out of the cold and lifeless sadness that we call depression.

MEDITATION

God, please come to us and dwell within us that you might create in us the strength that we need to bring us forth what is within us. This means both those pleasant and  unpleasant thoughts.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step Fellowship Groups. (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 89. May 1.

Fellowship, The 12 Steps

Snap Out Of It!

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How often have you ever found yourself saying this, SNAP OUT OF IT!  to your loved one who is depressed?  Doesn’t work. Do you know why?

It doesn’t work because of the many symptoms that make up the painful experience of depression. Fatigue is a big part of depression. The emotional war going on inside of a depressed person depletes the vital energy from a person and as everything seems hopeless the body gets the message not to even try.  The depressed finally learns that motivation follows action. To get better, the depressed has to find a reason to get help. The understanding family is the best motivation.

Family members discover they  experience many of the same feelings as the depressed!  If you checked off more than  five of the items below , you might consider the DEP-ANON FAMILY GROUP.

When family members were asked to prioritize, describe and list which feelings they experienced most often and most intensely, the following are those which they documented, from most intense to less intense.

1) Feeling overwhelmed and burdened by a family member’s depression.2) Feeling restricted around the depressed, feelings of something similar to the expression of walking on egg shells.3) Feelings of helplessness. 4) Anxiety about the situation and not knowing what to do about the feelings they were experiencing. 5) Feeling emotionally drained. 6) Feeling inadequate, faced with a loved one’s immobility and lack of motivation.7) Feeling anger and frustration at the depressed. 8) Being an enabler. 9) Feeling that one was living an unproductive life as one was stymied by the  depressed   unproductive depression. 10) Having feelings of irritability and impatience.11) Feeling inadequate. 12) Unhappy. 13) Feeling betrayed in retirement by spouse’s late life depression. 14) Indecisive and lacking confidence in themselves.

ARE YOU SURPRISED TO LEARN THAT THE DEPRESSED EXPERIENCE THE SAME EMOTIONS?  YOU HAVE MORE IN COMMON THAT YOU THOUGHT!

SOURCE: (COPYRIGHT)  DEP-ANON FAMILY GROUP MANUAL: The 12 step support group for family and friends of the depressed.  DEPRESSED  ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS. LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY.

Acceptance, DA Literature, Focus, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Mindfulness, The 12 Steps

Getting A Grip!

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AN AFFIRMATION FOR TODAY

Just for today, I intend to believe and hope that my relaxing my hold on life will give me, paradoxically, a better grasp (grip) on where I need to be in life.

“I still get scared, I don’t know where I am going or what I want anymore, or what life will throw up at me next, but, for the first time in my life, there is no rigid life-plan, and I have been forced to take, and enjoy, one day at a time.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

After admitting that I am depressed I can very truthfully say that I now need to get on with my life and work.  I want to admit as well that the Higher Power will not let me travel down any roads that I need not travel.  Even though there are always a few bends in the road along the way, I will still trust in my God to get me where I need to get. I also know that by attaching myself to my God’s leading I cannot go wrong.

By the time I was almost a year old, I already knew who I wanted to attach myself to as well as I knew who I wanted to withdraw from.  Is it possible that early on childhood frights are still unconsciously scaring the wits out of me today.  I need to live in the solution and attach myself to what has worked for me in the past when I got myself out of depression.

MEDITATION

Just our surrendering our will to you, our God, gives us the liberty to attach ourselves to new and hopeful ways of reflecting about our lives.

SOURCE: (c) Higher Thoughts for Down days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. (1993, 1999)   Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY 40217. Pages 83-84. April 25.

All Or Nothing Thinking, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Spiritual Heroes, Step 11, The 12 Steps

A Way Out Of Depression

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” During  acute depression, avoid trying to set your whole life in order all at once.  If you take on assignments so heavy that you are sure to fail in them at the moment, then you are allowing yourself to be tricked by your unconscious. Thus you will continue to make sure of your failure, and when it comes you will have another alibi for still more retreat into depression.

“In short,  the ‘all or nothing’ attitude is a most destructive one. It is best to begin with whatever the irreducible minimums of activity are. Then work for an enlargement of these –day by day- Don’t be disconcerted by setbacks –just start over.”

Source: Bill W., in Letter, 1960.

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CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Here is my take on the  statement above by Bill W., co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous.

When I first got involved with the Twelve Steps, I couldn’t wait to read all the steps and get busy reading as much as I could about them. But as I continued to stay in the program and get more involved in the Fellowship I discovered that I could not read ahead and think that now that I have read all the literature about the addiction I was done.  I graduated.  Instead, after thirty years plus, I am still working through these Steps and finding material that I need to look at in my life. The Twelve Steps and the study thereof, alone using the Home Study Kit,  and in the context of a fellowship  group, I have continued my quest to live one day at a time. Step Eleven is one of my constant companions which states that I “sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry it out.”

Our guide, Depressed Anonymous 3rd edition,  written by those of us who were depressed, contains an excellent commentary on Step Eleven (Pages 94-103). The Steps provide you and me with a lifetime of hope and help. The Steps continue to provide me  with a lifeline that is available to me, today, every day and every time.  It works for me!

-Hugh

Acceptance, DA Literature, Isolation, The 12 Steps

I GET IT!

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I GET IT!

I didn’t get it at first when I walked through the door and into the fellowship of a Twelve Step meeting. I was there with  a bunch of people that I didn’t know.  Instead of feeling threatened by the fact of being like a stranger in a foreign land I was made to feel welcome. I sat down and listened to what members of the group had to say. When I was asked if I had something I would like to share I said I would pass. That was the first meeting.

But the longer the meeting went the more I began to feel that these people were talking about me and my life.  They were sharing how their lives had fallen apart, how they were despairing of any help.  They said that  just by walking  through the door was an admission, a public admission (public only to this group) that their life was unmanageable and out of their control. They felt helpless and alone. Wow! I thought to myself. I just might be in the right place. No one told me to “snap out of my pain” they just listened and  responded with how their lives were before coming to the Twelve Step meeting and how, after work and time  living out the Steps, how their life was today. I hung on every word as to how their life was today.   By  the members honesty, willingness and openness to come to terms with what they needed to work on, I finally  saw the light. I got it!

There are no magic potions, no magic wands–no, all that is needed to start the process of personal recovery is to believe that, with the group’s help and with the map of the Twelve Steps to follow,we can find our way out of the prison of depression.  Finally, just as a final thought, I still get it!

(Read: Depressed Anonymous (2013) Third edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications)

DA Literature, Focus, Higher Power, Journaling, Spirituality, Step 02, The 12 Steps

God Is The Rudder Of My Boat. I Am Going To Put My Oars In The Water!

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 AFFIRMATION

I will have the peace I desire as I continue to pray to do God’s will.

“Being in God’s will is the beginning of peace and the beginning of the end of your depression with its hollowness and jitters.” (8)

 CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Most people don’t understand this who have not been in the program very long. What it means is that I must attempt to work and live this spiritual program. I need to let myself be guided by God’s hand in my life and so become open and ready to fiollow his guidance.

The beginning of wisdom is to hear the voice of God. It is imperative that I take an active role in getting better. I often say that God is the rudder of my boat and I have to put my oars in the water if I am going to get to the shore. I believe that one of the best ways for me to start to feel better is to take each step (Depressed Anonymous, Third Edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications) and try to do what it suggests.  Keeping a journal lets me know what I am feeling for each day. I have come to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.   I wonder sometimes if this hollow feeling inside myself isn’t more of a longing and hunger for a spiritual food that nothing in my life now can and ever will provide.

MEDITATION

We pray that God will show us the way out of our depression by living and following the program that  has healed other people who have been addicted to a behavior or a substance and which  continued to bring them down instead of up.

SOUIRCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for Twelve Step Fellowship Groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 71.

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, The 12 Steps

“I NEVER KNEW THAT THERE WAS A TWELVE STEP GROUP FOR DEPRESSION”

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What a surprise, for those who search on Google for groups that help people with depression. Just the other day someone mentioned that they came upon our group by accident and were not aware that there was a group focused solely on depression.  There are groups which help all sorts of maladies, including depression, but as far as we know there are not many whose sole focus  centers on depression and who use the suggested spiritual recovery program of the Twelve Steps for  a solution. But, here we are, DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS.

If you would like to learn more about our group please keep on reading the articles/BLOGS which appear on our website menu. It is here that you can find  information about who we are and what we do. Presently, we are trying to help others start their own DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS and if there are no groups in your locale you can use the HOME STUDY PROGRAM which can help you start your own mutual aid group. The HOME STUDY PROGRAM utilizes the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS MANUAL along with THE DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS WORKBOOK.  It only takes  yourself and one other person to form a group. If you would like more information about our Twelve Step approach to depression please read more about our DA literature  available at the Website store.

Belief, Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Spiritual Heroes, The 12 Steps

Bill W. & Dorothy Rowe & Margie W.

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Three persons who made a big difference in my life and how they each  helped me deal with my own melancholia (depression).

First of all there is Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, who by his own witness, presented to us the spiritual program of recovery that we know as the Twelve Steps. Not only have they given me personally  a daily step by step program of recovery to follow but helped me fashion a program of recovery for persons depressed using the same spiritual program of recovery. Bill W., makes available through the Steps to any and all who seek a way out of their attachments to whatever is slowly  destroying their lives.

And then there is Dr. Dorothy Rowe, PH.D., a psychologist who has written many great books on depression and how to live one’s life. In 1985, a member of our newly formed Depressed Anonymous group gave me a copy of her book Depression: The way out of your prison. (1983, 1996) Second Edition. Routledge, London and New York. It was this book that opened my eyes and my mind to beliefs about depression that has accompanied me through my encounters with persons with depression in my own clinical practice, as well as  in the formation of  all the Depressed Anonymous  groups  focused and centered on the Twelve Steps. Not only have she and Bill W., been my mentors in this life long effort of mine, but both have given me keys that not only have released me from my own prison of depression, but persons everywhere have their lives back, plus a belief in a Higher Power,  thanks to these two pioneers.

Then there is Margie W., a charter member of Depressed Anonymous (whose account  appears in Depressed Anonymous in the Personal Stories section of our book). She states  “I can’t really remember for sure how I became involved in Depressed Anonymous. I believe a co-worker told me about a professor at the University of Evansville who had students who were helping people in the psychology field and wanted to know if I would be a volunteer to help start this new self help group. And it was free! What did I have to lose? I had seen Doctors, took their prescribed drugs and still ended up on the same old merry-go-round of ups and downs  and “hangovers” from the drugs. I joined a small group at first. We talked, set weekly goals, took short walks, visited with friends or enjoyed a cup of coffee to relax. We had to do something for ourselves. I had to learn to be good to myself, instead of nurturing  everyone else. I found a good doctor who gave me a lot of good advice about “pampering ” myself more. It hadn’t been easy.  I’ve read self help books, positive thinking books and worked hard on my way of thinking for years. I’m a natural born worrier, so things always seemed worse than they really were.  “(I) feel like I have something to offer the group. Hope is the word. I finally got above the edge of the rut that I could barely peer over for years. I know others  can do it too. Don’t give up. It’s a lot of hard work, but it can be done. I know. I was there.” Depressed Anonymous, (2011)  Third Edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville Kentucky.

Attachment, Higher Power, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Mindfulness, Purpose, The 12 Steps

I LIKE BEING A RESPONSIBLE PERSON AND I WILL NO LONGER BLAME OTHERS FOR MY SADNESS.

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AFFIRMATION

“Responsibility is the name  of the game in recovery and it is here that we need to focus our attention.  As we get into a discussion with other  people who are depressed  – much like ourselves – we see that they talk about feeling better while at the same time acting on  their own behalf. ” (8)

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

To blame someone else for all my problems, and to focus on someone else and not on myself, never  accomplishes anything therapeutic. I believe that as I commit myself to  my program of recovery I begin to feel a shift in the way I think and act.  I know that the only way out of my pain is to get into dealing with my sadness and the way that I sad myself.  I need to begin with Step One  and admit my problem. I need to admit that my life has become unmanageable because of my attachment  to depression.  I must remember not to blame myself for depression  – I just know that right now, today, I want out!  I tell myself I’ve had  it!  I intend to get better.

In order to change my life, I have to begin taking responsibility  for it today.  By setting a goal, just for today, I can plan some success into my life.”

MEDITATION

We know that our Higher Power wants us to live just this one day. God is neither a vengeful God nor is my God a punishing God. My God is there for me and the more I open up and trust God, I trust myself to change and be a better and more serene person.”

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SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for down days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications . Louisville, Kentucky  P. 69.