SOURCE: Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. DAP. Pages 11, 12, 13.
#2. “I accepted that God, as the God of my understanding is loving and forgiving. The 12 step group and our God is the pillar of our strength and healing.”
As a young child growing up I always imagined God to be a mean old man with a long beard and always a frown on his face. I was filled with guilt and fear, thinking that I could never measure up to what he wanted me to be. And ironically, it wasn’t til I was in my late 30’s that I had a spiritual experience. I began to find that the God of my understanding was not the God of my childhood.
I fired my old God. Through the direction of my Higher Power and the brand new relationship I was forming with members of a 12 Step recovery group, I gradually found myself finding serenity and hope filling the empty hole that was my life. I discovered that the God of my understanding was merciful and leading me out of the addiction that had me by its grip. The miracle was that because I had hit bottom and had no place but to go and get help–I found that this was a critical time for me as I surrendered to this God of my understanding – I had nothing to lose except my misery.
I discovered, as it says in the 2nd Way out of the prison of depression that we want to live our lives with hope. Step Two of Depressed Anonymous states that “we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” This is where my life took a dramatic turn. With other members of the group I discovered over time and meetings, plus reading the Depressed Anonymous literature, that thee was a way out for me. I too could get better and feel differently.
I knew that I was “about to start a new journey of hope. I am not alone as I have other fellow travelers who will lead me around the ditches and the potholes of that old depressive lifestyle that once ruled my thoughts and actions. Now I am on a mission of personal growth and recovery. I am already beginning to feel a glimmer of hope.”
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