To admit that there is a problem is the first step which can move us into recovery. The First Step of the Twelve Steps begins with the word WE. This is a WE program–a program about us as a group of hurting people. Since we have tried to tackle our problems alone and in the confines of our own mind we soon discovered that for most of us this was not enough. We still were saddled with a life destroying and unmanageable situation. There must be a solution we thought. Yes, there is a solution. For many of us who have traveled this path of recovery, living out the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps and being part of the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous we have found peace and a new way of living,
Category Archives: Acceptance
My Inner Most Thoughts Are Stepping Stones
A HIGHER THOUGHT FOR TODAY
AFFIRMATION
I am going to think of my inner most thoughts as stepping stones to a better and more positive way to live my life.
“In the ancient secret Gnostic Gospels Jesus is reported as saying, ‘If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is in you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.'”(6)
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
My sad thoughts which I continually run around in my mind keep me enslaved to inaction and a feeling of being trapped. I want to let these thoughts out so that I will be able to look at them and see them for what they are — the empty fears that have no power when placed out in the light of day. I believe that the more I express my fears to another, the less powerful they are and the less control they have over my life.
I am going to accept the fact that I have every right to be part of this universe and I am going to do everything in my power to achieve a sense of security and happiness for myself. The first step where “We admitted that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable” is what will free me in time from the prison of my depression.
When we get in touch with what we fear, we can get in touch with ourselves. By doing this, we find a way out of the cold and lifeless sadness that we call depression.
MEDITATION
God, please come to us and dwell within us that you might create in us the strength that we need to bring us forth what is within us. This means both those pleasant and unpleasant thoughts.”
SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step Fellowship Groups. (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 89. May 1.
Getting A Grip!
AN AFFIRMATION FOR TODAY
Just for today, I intend to believe and hope that my relaxing my hold on life will give me, paradoxically, a better grasp (grip) on where I need to be in life.
“I still get scared, I don’t know where I am going or what I want anymore, or what life will throw up at me next, but, for the first time in my life, there is no rigid life-plan, and I have been forced to take, and enjoy, one day at a time.”
CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT
After admitting that I am depressed I can very truthfully say that I now need to get on with my life and work. I want to admit as well that the Higher Power will not let me travel down any roads that I need not travel. Even though there are always a few bends in the road along the way, I will still trust in my God to get me where I need to get. I also know that by attaching myself to my God’s leading I cannot go wrong.
By the time I was almost a year old, I already knew who I wanted to attach myself to as well as I knew who I wanted to withdraw from. Is it possible that early on childhood frights are still unconsciously scaring the wits out of me today. I need to live in the solution and attach myself to what has worked for me in the past when I got myself out of depression.
MEDITATION
Just our surrendering our will to you, our God, gives us the liberty to attach ourselves to new and hopeful ways of reflecting about our lives.
SOURCE: (c) Higher Thoughts for Down days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. (1993, 1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY 40217. Pages 83-84. April 25.
ACCEPTANCE
ACCEPTANCE
Is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation—some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely, nothing happens in God’s world by mistake;
Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.
–by Kristone
More Than Comfort
When I am feeling depressed, I repeat to myself statements such as these…”Pain is the touchstone of progress.”…”I fear no evil.” …”This, too will pass.” … “This experience can be turned to benefit.”
These fragments of prayer bring far more than mere comfort. They keep me on the track of right acceptance; they break up my compulsive themes of guilt, depression, rebellion, and pride; and sometimes they endow me with the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Bill W., writing in Grapevine, March 1962.
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My mantra, personally, is the Serenity Prayer.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
I GET IT!
I GET IT!
I didn’t get it at first when I walked through the door and into the fellowship of a Twelve Step meeting. I was there with a bunch of people that I didn’t know. Instead of feeling threatened by the fact of being like a stranger in a foreign land I was made to feel welcome. I sat down and listened to what members of the group had to say. When I was asked if I had something I would like to share I said I would pass. That was the first meeting.
But the longer the meeting went the more I began to feel that these people were talking about me and my life. They were sharing how their lives had fallen apart, how they were despairing of any help. They said that just by walking through the door was an admission, a public admission (public only to this group) that their life was unmanageable and out of their control. They felt helpless and alone. Wow! I thought to myself. I just might be in the right place. No one told me to “snap out of my pain” they just listened and responded with how their lives were before coming to the Twelve Step meeting and how, after work and time living out the Steps, how their life was today. I hung on every word as to how their life was today. By the members honesty, willingness and openness to come to terms with what they needed to work on, I finally saw the light. I got it!
There are no magic potions, no magic wands–no, all that is needed to start the process of personal recovery is to believe that, with the group’s help and with the map of the Twelve Steps to follow,we can find our way out of the prison of depression. Finally, just as a final thought, I still get it!
(Read: Depressed Anonymous (2013) Third edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications)
Do The Next Right Thing
I personally believe that once I have made the first step, and admitted my powerlessness, I set in motion a force –the loving force of the creator in my personal life. In time I am filled with energy and find that this power can change me — restore my life with purpose and meaning. It can prepare me to meet those to whom are ready to risk leaving behind the prison of their depression. By my own interest in getting in touch with the Higher Power and getting its direction to “do the next right thing” I find that my own life is gradually becoming more filled with purpose and energy.”
SOURCE: Copyright(c) THE PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS: Planting a seedbed of hope. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Kentucky. P.15.
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I like the statement to “do the next right thing.” For me that was a motivator for the times that I wanted to just give up. These were the powers that continued to give me the nudge to keep on doing all those things that could help in my recovery from depression. What, for me was “the next right thing?” For one, it was to continue working the 12 steps in my own life–one step after another. I also found another person to walk with me in my journey of recovery. I also read everything that I could find on my addictions. No “rock was left unturned” that could help me accomplish doing what I knew would keep me on my feet and moving forward with hope. I attended faithfully my 12 step group, read most if not all of their literature and continued to follow the promptings of my God. I heard other members of the group telling how they knew the Promises were working in their lives, sometimes quickly and with most, over time. But they worked. Life began to be better for us as we moved from one step to the next. We discovered that we had less concern about ourselves and gained interest in others. We want to scream it from the housetops –don’t give up! We too felt hopeless and that our lives were unmanageable. Looking back we saw that a change had taken place once we had established a daily plan for our serenity. We followed the direction of our Higher Power as we continued to “:do the next right thing.” The next right thing for me today is to tell you — there is hope for you too. That’s a PROMISE!
Hugh
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE
“To thine own self be true.” is an old axiom that has much merit for those of us who work the spiritual program of the Twelve Steps. Often in therapy I ask people to list as many strengths as they can, and for some this is a difficult task when they are depressed and the world appears to be a grey and fearsome dark place. But this is a n inventory that we must make– we must begin to look at our strengths and stop wallowing in the self-pity which denies the new directions and progress occurring in our lives through the life of our depression, namely that we can’t seem to see the gracious goodness in ourselves that has been placed there for all time by the Higher Power. This in itself is the attitude that keeps alive our depression, sadness and self-deprecating attitudes. We need to look at our assets and list our strengths as we gather together time after time in our Depressed Anonymous group or our individual working ( HOME STUDY PROGRAM) of the Twelve Step program in our lives. We need to remove as quickly as possible all the old excuses and reasons that we cling to which keep us depressed and out of healthful recovery. Let’s be objective about ourselves and admit that just as we possibly have caused ourselves to be depressed, we likewise can un-depress ourselves in the same way.”
SOURCE: DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, (3rd Edition, 2011).. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, Ky 40217. (p. 56)
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Only when I had taken a complete inventory of my own life (Step Four) did I realize that certain ways of personal thinking, feeling and behaviors gradually spiraled me physically into the painful pit of my own personally manufactured melancholia. (Some depression experiences can also be the result of physical illness/diseases. That is why it is best to talk to a medical professional before we diagnose ourselves. ) Now here is the part that people can’t quite understand –that we caused ourselves to be depressed. How could that be? Why would I want to cause myself so much pain? Good question. The real issue here is that I discovered over time that because of emotional issues that were mine, mostly unpleasant to reflect upon, such as guilt, shame producing isolation from family, friends and the world, plus the grief over lost employment and relationships. And then, because of this continued mental and emotional beating myself up it all came crashing down as no longer could I think of anything but disaster, grief and gloom. I became paralyzed emotionally, physically and spiritually and mentally. My body responded by not responding so that in time it was a battle just to get out of bed. So, there you have it. I caused all this by the way I thought about myself. In Step Four I was able to take each issue by itself and then to see how I might restore myself before my experience with depression. I learned how to un-depress myself. Remember, most of the things that come “out of the blue” are the rain, snow and lightening. And now that I know where my melancholia originated and why, I am un-depressed today.
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My Life Was A Sinkhole!
MY LIFE WAS A SINKHOLE!
If you know anything about a sinkhole you know one thing–you know that everything is gobbled up which sits on the sinkhole spot. I mean, houses, cars, buildings, streets, etc. And if you throw anything else down the hole it too gets gobbled up. Just recently, at the Corvette car museum in Bowling Green, Kentucky, a number of their vintage cars ended up at the bottom of a sinkhole–ironically, it occurred in their showroom. There was no way anyone was going to drive these vintage cars out of there.
In our Big Book, Depressed Anonymous as quoted in our recent publication ” I’ll do it when I feel better,” it states that
The overeater, gambler, smoker, sexual addict are all driven by their compulsions. The emptiness of our lives is like a hole that continuously needs to be filled with some compulsive and addictive behavior. By letting go of our excessive tightfisted hold on our life, which paradoxically it causes us to lose hold; we start to face reality for the first time without the crippling crutch of our compulsion. We let go of our compulsion to repeat –the ritual of addictions.
…Gradually over time, and due to being able to say no to the impulse to smoke, or sad oneself, you feel stronger and so the pained withdrawal becomes less intense. The same applies to the addiction of depression in that at first it’s difficult to stop completely the compulsive repeating of sad thoughts, but with time and working our Twelve Steps, and by our active involvement with DA we have the strength to say no to these sad thoughts and begin to choose hope and serenity.”
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I use the analogy of a sinkhole because it truly expresses what happened when I was depressing myself. I couldn’t stop these incessant flow of thoughts that continued to gobble up my serenity,my peace and/or the desire to do anything positive for myself. All I could do was to sit in a room, look at the four walls and reflect on how hopeless I felt. As my pain intensified ( like a total body toothache) I found myself getting more isolated from life: meaning family, spouse, friends, groups, you name it.
How did I get out of the sinkhole? The first thing I had to admit was that I was IN A SINKHOLE. If this is where you find yourself today, you might want to go back to the Menu of this Website and read all the stuff there that tells about the” what” of Depressed Anonymous. And if you want to begin your own personal home study program for a further clarification of thought, you can get the Depressed Anonymous Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. I believe you’ll be happy you did. You’ll get some answers. It happens to be written by folks like you and me. That’s the good part.
Source: I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER, (2013) Smith, Hugh. Depressed Anonymous Publications, Louisville, Ky 40217.(p.60).
“Joining a self-help group will be one of the most valuable things you can do.”
AFFIRMATION
I thank God for the group and the belief that I have every right to be here..
“Free and truthful discussions only possible between people who see each other as equal members of the human race. Joining a self-help group will be one of the most valuable things you can do. You will meet a group of people who know what it is to be depressed. You don’t have to explain it to them, or apologize, or pretend that you are happy when you are not. In a self-help group you give and receive friendship, and in sharing the responsibility for the group you build up your confidence and self-respect.”
REFLECTION
I have learned that there is a miracle of the group that takes place when persons with the same needs and experiences of isolation get together. They discuss with each other how their lives were before they entered their particular Twelve Step group, and how they are now, now that they have a positive program which gives direction to their lives.
In the Fellowship I find that I can be as honest as I like. No one will look down on me for saying how I need to change the way I perceive my world, my life and my thoughts.
MEDITATION
The spirit of God is in each of us as we become more conscious of the fact that that its spirit wants to be the leading light of our life. Our Twelve Step program help us see that when we consciously desire that God work in our lives, it is possible for us to admit that we are powerless over our depression. When we start to work the program, we start to find some peace.
See Step 1
In the Fellowship I find that I can be as honest as I lioke. No opne will look dopwnm on me for saying jow I need to change the way I perfceivemy world, my life and my thoughts.
MEDITATION
The spirit of God is in each of us as we beecom,e more conscious of the fact that its spirit wants ot be the leasding light of our lifge. OOur Tswelve Step ropgram helps us see that when we consciously desirte that God work in our livesd, it ism [possioble for us to admit that we are powerless over our depression. When we start to work the program, we start to find some peace.” See Step 1.