All posts by Hugh Smith

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WAYS TO EAT YOUR WAY INTO HEALTH!

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HOW TO  EAT YOUR WAY INTO HEALTH

Food is the most obvious source of our energy. When we are depressed, however, our  diet often suffers. Some people overeat. A more common problem is lack of appetite. If this occurs, it is important to remember that although you may not feel particularly hungry, your body’s need for fuel continues. Here are some tips on keeping up adequate nutrition during difficult time. I

Eat regular meals. It is usually easiest to eat ( and to control what you eat)  if you keep to a routine. Try to have three set mealtimes per day. Ensure that you have enough food at home for all three.

Eat by the clock, not by your stomach. If you have lost your appetite, push yourself to eat at mealtimes anyway. If you have been overeating, try to eat only at mealtimes while sitting at the table.  Make it easy. The important thing is to eat, not to cook. Buy foods that are easier to prepare (but keep an eye on their nutritional value).

Make extra. You can cut your preparation  time by making  larger amounts and by refrigerating or freezing certain dishes for re-heating later.

Make it healthy. Stock up on nutritious food and snacks.  Check for calorie count and sodium levels.

Watch your sugar intake. Avoid eating too much refined sugar. Complex carbohydrates are generally preferable (particularly whole-grain products, brown rice, and potatoes).

Avoid dieting. Avoid strict diets, even if you wish to lose weight. It is much better to adopt healthy (rather than restrictive) eating habits and increase ones  activity level. Ask your  physician for advice before attempting to lose weight.

 

And exercise, exercise and exercise some more!

SOURCES: Antidepressant skills workbook. Self-Care depression program, 2nd. edition. Page 56. (www.bcmhas.ca.  )

PLUS/  The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, 2nd edition (2002) DAP. Louisville. Ky.

 

 

 

 

Anger, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Egoism, Fellowship

What am I feeling?

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WHAT AM I FEELING?

                                 Anger? Hostility? Aggression?

Anger: An emotion that says “Something is wrong.” That  it can be expressed to tell others about your personal limits, values, rules, and boundaries. The respectful expression of anger is an important way to educate others about how their behavior affects you. It can result in mutual respect between you and another person.

Hostility: An attitude that contributes to the violation of another person’s rights, values, rules, or boundaries. This attitude can include ruminating or brooding about another person’s real or perceived injustices toward you and ways that you can  “get even” with him/her   and this attitude leads to feelings of powerlessness. It can often lead to aggression our withdrawal as a way to punish others.

Aggression: A behavior, acted on with the intent to harm others, either physically or emotionally for real or imagined  “wrongs” done to you. This behavior always results in disrespect for yourself or the other person. It creates distance between you rather that brings you closer.

                           Learning how to express anger respectfully.

1.  Admit your anger. Accept that you are angry. Shouting “I am not angry!” at the other person only escalates you more. It can be safe and growth producing to acknowledge that you are angry.

2. Take a “timeout” to cool down if you need it.  Learning to deal respectfully and constructively with your anger takes time and practice.

3. Identify the source of your anger (look for your primary feelings). Make sure you perceived what happened correctly. Ask yourself questions like: ” what is my negative self-talk?” “Am I  dealing only with this issue at hand or are there other stressors that have already escalated me before this?” “Am I looking for a reason to blowup?”

4. Separate the energy of your anger (pent up feelings inside you seeking release) from the issue your anger is about (the condition, idea, event, or person you feel angry at).

5. Decide how and when you will express your anger.

6. Talk to the other person involved with your anger. Share your anger and any  primary feelings you can identify in an open, direct, and respectful way.

7. Make  “I” statements. Take responsibility for your own feelings. Resist the temptation to blame someone else for  “making you” feel angry.

8. Listen closely to the others point of view. Recognize and accept that their view may be quite different from yours. Remember that they have a right to their perspective and feelings.

9. Get in touch with your expectations and your intentions in sharing your anger. The purpose is not to “win” the argument (or discussion) or to make the other person agree with you or your point of view. Rather, it is an opportunity to give  both of you a time to express feelings.  Also,  explore alternatives such as compromising. Or you can “Agree to disagree” and table the discussion until another time.”

Source: The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. (2002). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 34 to 35.

Please VIST THE STORE  for more information on the Depressed Anonymous Workbook and the Depressed Anonymous Manual, both of which comprise the HOME STUDY KIT which can be purchased online.

Fellowship, The 12 Steps

Withdrawal from friends is the first clue…

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  Withdrawing from friends  and other social contacts is the first clue that you’re slipping back into the isolation and pain of depression.   Move toward a friend, get a sponsor, and go to a 12 step meeting. Ask your higher power for that knowledge that can guide you onto the appropriate path. 

There are two times that we need to go to a 12 step meeting. 1) One, when we don’t want to go to a meeting and 2) secondly when we do want to go to a meeting.  From my personal experiences I can share with you that is when I go to my meeting that I’m able to come away from it with something positive to think about. I can honestly say that I feel better after a Depressed Anonymous meeting. I know in my heart that when I just want to sit at home by myself, isolating and ruminating within my head about all the horrible things that have happened to me, or are about to happen to me, that is when I depressed myself even more. Get connected!

CHOICE,  NOT CHANCE  DETERMINES DESTINY!

It’s our addictive thinking, our compulsive way of processing negative information, which describes how we habitually store the negative but continue to dump the positive information which 24/7 continually flows into our brain. These negative thoughts of feeling  persist  in  keeping us falling back into the old habit of staying isolated and avoiding others. We might fool  ourselves and say that people have nothing to offer me and that is why I distance myself from everyone.  Part of my nature when  depressed is to avoid and distance myself from whatever I feel is threatening me, like a child afraid of the dark.

I can only do what God wants me to do and I discover what this is by spending time alone with my God and meditation. Whatever we do, we need to know that our isolation and our withdrawing from friends and family, is an environment where depression grows strong.  Depression dies in the light of discussion.

Dorothy Rowe in  her award-winning book Depression: the way out of your prison, has an excellent section on isolation and depression. Let me quote it for you and then you can the draw your own conclusions

” Thus none of us can escape needing other people so that we can exist and not fear annihilation. But you who get depressed have decided to express your need for other people in ways which make it hard for you to live.

    Take the first form of existence – wanting to be part of a group and fearing isolation. If you see yourself as basically a good person and therefore with  something to offer other people, you have no fear of joining groups, of being part of the family, as much as you suffer loss, you know you’re able to find new friends and to help other people. But if you see yourself as basically a bad person, then the threat of expulsion from your group is expected and feared. Since  you do not value yourself, you cannot see people as wanting you to join them, either as a friend our helper. If disaster wrenched you away from your family you cannot see yourself surviving, and so no matter how much you come to hate your family you cannot let them go. They are your reference point of existence, and you fear that if you lose them, you will disappear…

     Seeing yourself as basically good reduces the need for other people’s approval. If you see yourself as basically good, you can set up a select group of people whose approval you desire and can be indifferent to the opinion of the multitude. But if you see yourself as basically bad then you need everybody’s approval…”   Dorothy Rowe. Depression: the way out of your prison. 1983. Harper Collins, London, UK. Page 111.

Source:  Copyright ( c)  Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2002) D AP. Louisville. Kentucky. 40216. Pages 47-50.

12 Step Meeting, Purpose

Our feelings come about due to how we think of things

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Happiness is an elusive feeling – and for each of us happiness can mean something very different. When I say to myself “life doesn’t get any better than this,” then I know that life is indeed good and that all is well with my soul.

What can keep us in the prison of depression is a construction that we place on events and situations that occur in our world.

To be free means  to act with a degree of spontaneity. This after all, is the opposite of depression. Events of themselves are not the cause for depression – similar events are in the lives of many folks  but there are some folks that don’t experience depression because of them. So, it must be the way we think about these events and the meanings that we place on the situation. Our lives and the way we look at life is composed of past and present events. Our past life is a way we predict the future. “Since bad things have happened to me in the past – bad things are bound to happen to me in the future.” How true this is.  Our  prison is composed of blocks of times and situations which at one time were fluid – like a river moving. Since these events affect our sense of self – we caused the river to stop flowing – and instead our painful thoughts and feelings – are the blocks that make up the walls of our personal prison. We need to restore the fluidity the of our lives. Once when our self has been restored – namely our spontaneity,  we will experience freedom and happiness. By having that spiritual experience and being an active member of  the fellowship  of Depressed Anonymous is what can restore us to sanity. Happiness comes from finding loving support, and acceptance.”

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SOURCES:  (C)   The Promises. (2002). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

(C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications.  Louisville.

(C)The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, 2nd edition. (2002)  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

12 Step Meeting

JOINING A DEPRESSION MUTUAL AID SUPPORT GROUP

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“…   Joining a self-help group will be one of the most valuable things you can do. You will meet a group of people who know what it is to be depressed. You don’t have to explain it to them, or apologize, or pretend that you are happy when you are not. In a self-help group you give and receive friendship and in sharing the responsibility for the group you build up your confidence and self respect.

Well, those are some ideas about where you can get help provided you’re prepared to go and find it and to work hard with what you are offered. Spoon – feeding is no use to you. You have to feed yourself.”

Sources: Copyright(c) Depression: The way out of your prison. Dorothy Rowe. Page 209.

in Copyright(c)  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

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Fellowship, Purpose, Spirituality

Admitting that we are in pain is the start of freedom!

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  THE PROMISES OF DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS.

PROMISE #1. We believe that once we have diligently and with rigorous personal honesty managed to complete the first nine steps of our program – good things can begin to happen in our life. It is after we have made amends to those whom we had harmed, swept the porch in front of our own house, and go to step ten and complete the remainder of the steps, we will be amazed at the peace that is become a part of our life.

The pain that we experience now – and working our program step-by-step is indeed slight – compared to the pain that may continue if we don’t bite the bullet and look at the issues that have trapped us these many years.

Working the 12 steps is like the person who heads toward  the light at the end of the tunnel. The closer one gets to the light – the more one discovers a way out. The light in this case is symbolized by the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous. The expression of light, health and recovery of its members helps each of us to stay focused on recovery. Work is to be done if we are to find not only the light  – but a life free from the symptoms of depression.

Change is painful.  The first step is for the beginning of the end of our pain.  By admitting that we are in pain is that which paradoxically begins a release of our pain. This is the paradox of letting go and holding on as we learn from step three. What we hold onto holds on to us. What we seek – seeks us.

It is difficult for any of us to admit that our lives are out of control.

People sometimes speak of their depression as a comfort. I can identify with that, because if they were to change for anything else, they might end up with something far worse than what they have now. They feel that they might end up the hole in the doughnut. This pain of depression begins to dissolve as a result of doing something we’ve never done before – or rather doing something about our lives that we have not done before. It happens to be true that the more we get in touch with and remove our resentments, fear, guilt, and self-pity from our lives, the lighter we feel emotionally. The less need we have   to rely on defense mechanisms which shielded our fragile egos from pain,  hurt or remorse, the freer we become.

I do believe that the pain of our depression originates from inside ourselves. We construct present-day reality based on past life experiences. The past is a predictor of the future.  As it says in Depressed Anonymous, many of us held the absolute belief that “since bad things have happened to us in the past, bad things will happen to us in the future. In other words – we have made up her mind – nothing will ever change. And of course this belief is what promotes and keeps our depression  alive.”

The opposite of depression is spontaneity and vitality. When we are depressed we move about as in a fog.  we are stuck.  Since we desire everything to remain the same, that is, predictable, we in no way believe that life can be different. If we intend to stay suck, we make the decision, choose to stay in the rut of being  lifeless, hapless and helpless.

As we change old beliefs into new ones we believe that things can change as things begin to change.  We will begin to experience light, hope  and joy.   ”

In every   Depressed Anonymous story (See Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition) one’s personal story of recovery  illustrates how pain has been the admission price for the beginning  of a new life without depression and isolation.

.”The God that we know speaks to us through members of the Depressed Anonymous group. The Higher Power will put a new sense of purpose into  your life once you know how to turn  to it and surrender your pain. The Depressed Anonymous group will lead you safely and gently. The miracle is in the group.”

“The starting point is the admission that so far everything we have tried has not worked…”  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. DAP. Louisville. DA/P.39.

“… Life doesn’t have to be lived alone in agony or misery.” DA/.41.

 

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous Workbook

I refuse to be a victim of my depression!

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The following is a process for clarifying our thoughts so that we might gradually  work our way out of depression.

(1) Aware. I’m learning through my program of recovery, using the 12 Steps that as long as I blame everyone for the way I feel I will never improve my feel differently. I’m now becoming conscious that I got myself depressed and now I’m going to have to do something about it.  I’m not blaming myself for being depressed – that’s counterproductive – but now being conscious that I am depressed I am going to take full responsibility for getting out of it.  I don’t have to feel this way!

(2)  Motivating. I am making a plan to check out the way I think– the faulty patterns of automatic thinking that I fell into over my past life. I am now going to see myself as a survivor  as I live one day at a time and begin living with hope.

(3)  Doing. Every day I’m going to do something good and pleasant for myself. I’m going to take mastery over my life by setting small goals one day at a time for feeling different. I’m going to spend some time every day making conscious contact with the  God of my understanding and pray that I might have the will and the power to carry it out!

(4) Maintaining. I know there is no  “cheap grace” and getting free from my depression.  I also believe in having gratitude that I have the spiritual program of recovery to continue my exit from the despair of depression. In order to sustain my healing I will take responsibility for all my words, thoughts and actions. I now believe that if my world is to change then it is up to me to change it.  I now know it is up to my Higher Power  and myself   to feel whole and serene. ”

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Source:  Copyright (C) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville . Pages 42 and 43.

Note: This valuable tool is coordinated with the Depressed Anonymous manual, 3rd edition. (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

By using both of these works (Home Study Kit) one can begin to walk the path of recovery using the 12 steps.

See  The Store for more information.

Depressed Anonymous, The 12 Steps

I’ve tried my way, it didn’t work! I then tried the 12 Step fellowship of Depressed Anonymous. It works!

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JANUARY 29

Affirmation

I’ve tried my way, it didn’t work. I’ve tried the 12 Step way of Depressed Anonymous , it works! I’m beginning to feel that the people in my group really care for me.

“We cannot teach people forgiveness, but only show it by our own behavior, just as we cannot teach people to love but only show it by loving them.”

Clarification of thought

A group meeting is a sight to behold. Most self-help groups for persons depressed have their own format, but the one I am most familiar with is the one using the 12 steps of AA. It is a real joy to see how other members of the group are working the program, realizing that our program is a spiritual program. It is not a religious group…

The many people who are depressed and who come to the meeting, week after week, begin to feel better. It is one of the main areas of discussion. That is why people keep coming back to the meeting. They want to continue to feel good about themselves. They know that to feel better, they have to keep talking about their feelings.

The behavior that sets me apart from others in this world is that I always try to keep the focus on myself and not someone else. One of the main lessons that I get from the group members in our weekly discussion is that it is in others accepting us for what we are that makes a big difference. Also, I am never alone in my misery. Others know how I feel.

Meditation

Having the power to ask for help from God, as we understand God is a big step for us as we begin to trust this Higher Power who has taken on a new dimension since I am becoming an active member of this Depressed Anonymous group.

Source: Copyright (c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of Twelve-Step mutual aid groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 18.

Available on KINDLE. Also visit the store here at Depressed Anonymous Publications for other helpful resources.

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“The more I attended, the better I was able to handle my depression.”

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“I really didn’t get the complete feel for Depressed Anonymous at that first meeting. I took the advice given to me as I was leaving and came back the following week. The more I attended, the better I was able to handle my depression. Depressed Anonymous did more for me in a month than the hospital group did in three months. Depressed Anonymous didn’t cost anything, although after the first meeting was over everyone voluntarily threw in a dollar to pay the light bill

I couldn’t believe that Depressed Anonymous is run by the people who participated in it. I thought there had to be someone, somewhere, making big money off the poor souls who so desperately sought help. Boy, was that a stupid assumption. Perhaps the thing that impressed me the most about Depressed Anonymous is the wonderful friendships that developed. Depressed Anonymous members really care about each other.”

 

Source: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 124.

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12 Step Meeting, Fellowship

“It also comes to pass that our hunches are more right than wrong.”

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We think about the 24 hours ahead when we wake up, and attempt to live the day in honesty and peace.  We ask God to ward off thoughts of self-seeking, dishonesty and false motives. And as AA says, when we are faced with indecision about something we then ask God for inspiration and we let go of struggling for an answer. Alcoholics Anonymous says that you will be surprised at how the right answers will come after we have practiced this way of living. It also comes to pass that our hunches are more right than wrong. We also pause throughout the day when we are fearful, puzzled or anxious. We pray to the Higher Power for which  direction to take. I like the suggestion the best when AA says that “we constantly remind ourselves,  we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.”  We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. By coming to the meetings and admitting our addictions we finally got in touch with these emotions that have all but shut down from an early time in our lives, when to feel, hurt too much. We now have the chance to let these feelings get displayed and expressed in the supportive and trusting environment of our newly chosen family of the Depressed Anonymous group.”

Source: I’ll  do it when I feel better. (2015). Smith, Hugh.  Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 99.