Motivation follows action.

As I continued to spiral down into that dark pit of the gloom of despair — an experience  totally foreign to me- – I thought I was going crazy. My mind no longer able to hold on to a single  thought. A memory that was unable to capture and retain material just read. It was as if I had to read a piece repeatedly in order for the mind to capture the essence of what was read.  I began to fight myself in order just to get out of bed in the morning. Saddled with a growing physical fatigue it was a moment looked for just to come home after work and go to bed. And this was at five -thirty in the early evening.

If I was in the company of someone laughing, smiling or just plain happy I just wanted to go up to them and tell them “STOP! What right do you have to be so happy when I feel so miserable?” And with my steps taking me further down into the pit of sadness and isolation it was as if I was in a place where I could just let  life pass me by.

But I couldn’t let life pass me by. I knew that I couldn’t just put a halt to living my life. I had to keep my job. I had to free myself from this prison of sadness. So, I had to try and shake this horrible jittery feeling making my insides feel like a basket filled with spiked bouncing balls. And little did I know what was happening to me. I had no label on which I could attach some meaning to my dreadful experience. I just knew something was out of kilter – big time.

I decided to get moving–just walk. Walk! And walk some more. I felt like Forrest Gump who walked long and hard.  I walked my five miles every day. I walked in the morning forcing myself to get out of bed, even though the mental struggle to stay in the comfort of a soft bed beckoned me like the ‘sirens’ of the ancient world–beckoning those who followed their call–to perish.

When I began to take action and get the body moving it seemed that my mind followed right behind. Move the body and the mind will follow. The more I FORCED myself to walk–day after day-I found that  my motivation improved  and I felt more empowered to keep doing what I was doing, namely, walking. Now don’t get me wrong, just getting out of bed of a morning produced quite a struggle within myself. It was always the same thought that continued to bludgeon me every day: “Oh, I’ll just wait to walk when I feel better.” Folks, I never did feel better.  Whatever you are feeling and when feeling depressed,  get moving. Get into ACTION.  The more you take some physical activity for yourself the more motivation you will accumulate to get yourself undepressed  It worked for me. You do have the key to the prison of depression. Try it and see how it works for you.


“….all sorts of remarkable things happened…” 4th Promise of Depressed Anonymous



“The quality or state of being serene all takes time, work and discipline. I believe that the big Book of AA says it best: When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed.  We had a new employer; being all powerful he provided what we needed, if we kept close to him and performed his work well.   Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in plans, our little designs and ourselves.  More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of his presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We’re reborn.”

SOURCE: I’ll do it when I feel better (2013) DAP. Louisville KY. Page 38.


 3. We do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. (Continued)

Many of us have lived with guilt, shame and regret for our past. Until we get down to business–that is, taken a moral inventory (Step Four) did we desire that the God of our understanding help us see what we needed to do to forgive ourselves and get on with our life.

As the Promises state in so simple a manner, this does not mean that “oh well, we made some mistakes so let’s forget about everything that happened in the past  –after all it’s in the past.”  And we can spend a lot of  wasted time wallowing in the self-pity that occupies any addiction. We also might regret all the time that we wasted staring at the blank wall, alone and trying to figure out in the circling of our thoughts the whys of our immobility, passivity and pain.

It is in Steps Four and Five where our past regrets are played out and dealt with. Once we have made a list of  all of our resentments and fears and spoke of them to a trusted  friend (sponsor) we can begin  to find a new freedom.”

Copyright(c) The Promises of Depressed Anonymous. (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 7

Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression.

Believing is seeing!

1. “We accept and believe that however hopeless everything appears right now we will recover from our depression.”

“We know that this belief is one of the most important things that we can hang onto as we move through our experience of depression. I have spent almost three decades of working directly  with the depressed in individual counseling. Also, by my active participation in the recovery program of Depressed Anonymous I know from personal experience that those persons who kept coming back to the group meetings week after week always got better. So often people depressed have given up hope of ever feeling different or that they even have the power to change the way they feel. They don’t believe that they have a choice as to whether to get well or to stay locked in the prison of depression. This is why this belief coupled with the first Step of Depressed Anonymous, a 12 Step mutual aid support group, has so much impact on one’s personal belief about recovery. The 1st Step of Depressed Anonymous states that “we admitted that we were powerless over depression and that our lives had become unmanageable.”

First, we have to admit that our lives are out of control because no matter how hard we have tried we can’t shake the awfulness of the despairing and hollow feeling that has us feeling powerless and hopeless…”

More to come…stay tuned.

SOURCE: COPYRIGHT(C) Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression.(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 1.


The 3rd Promise of Depressed Anonymous


How do we know that this particular Promise will come true for us?  The only thing that we can rely on is our own experiences. Our experience tells us that the more we live in the solution of the Promises of Depressed Anonymous the more serenity and peace is ours for the moment.

We have discovered that it  is when we begin to live in the solution that our solution focused program leads us past the fear of what might happen to the serenity of the present moment.  Our freedom begins when we start to reflect consciously on what is happening now at this very moment. I have noticed that it is when I become conscious on what is happening now at this very moment. I have noticed that it is when I became conscious about what I am feeling–the direct result of my thinking–it is at this moment that I make the conscious decision to bring myself back to the present.”

SOURCE:  Copyright(c) The Promises (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY  Page 8.




I will to believe today that my Higher Power is going to make a way for me to grow and experience its love in my life.

” We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek him. To us, the realm of the Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive: never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek him. It is open, we believe, to all men and women.” Bill W., Co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous


We have all heard the phrase to “let go and let God.”  I believe that in order for me to begin to feel better, I have to take the First Step and admit that my life is out of control and unmanageable. It is hard to admit that I can’t get rid of this depression on my own, but I believe that there is a way out of this mess. If the Twelve Steps can sober up millions of hard-core and chronic addicts, it surely can make a difference in my life as I try to give my life a jump start with letting God run my life.

I like the work “seek” as it signifies hope and possibilities. You don’t seek unless you have a bit of hope that possibly you might succeed in finding what you are seeking.


“Seek and you shall find; knock and the door shall be opened; pray for whatever you want and it will be given to you.”  These words are ancient and they ring true for us who believe in their power. We are learning to trust in God of our understanding as we detect small advances in our lives and doors of hope become open to us. We trust our Higher Power to bestow on us its favor, now that we are moving toward his love and his peace.”

SOURCE:  Copyright(c)Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for 12 Step fellowship groups. (2014) DAP, Louisville, KY Page 185.

MAPS and DRAGONS (Poem by Sister Clarita Felhoelter OSU)

“When the old cartographers inscribed,

“There be dragons here.”

Did their wrinkled faces crinkle

Eyes twinkle as they thought of

Sailors calling, “Steer clear, steer clear,

There be dragons here!”

Or were they sure they’d lure

Some brazen tar to dare the bar

And sail a league beyond

Then call to shore, “Steer here, steer here,

There be dragons near! Oh,

We cannot miss the chance, oh, hear!”

These old map makers, did they create

The creatures of the deep for fun

Or know that faith and love can die of fear

And shriveled hope revive its cheer

If voices call into the deep

And so implied with pixie pen,

‘Sail out, sail out, young tads, with

Cheer and call your comrades,

‘Join me here; the map shows clear

That there be dragons near!’ ”


SOURCE: Sister Clarita Felhoelter,  An Ursuline Sister   In  “Even the stuff of Earth: A collection of Poems.” 1998.

Are we going around in circles-but going nowhere? There is a solution for this.

“I know that any addiction and compulsive type of behavior gradually removes you from the regular activities of persons around you, including family, friends, and coworkers, until you are established in the narrow confines of pain and isolation. We are always going to be just little more isolated the more we try to think our addiction through in the circle of our thoughts.”


I understand how we have become addicted to all those negative thoughts that we have grown accustomed to talking to ourselves about. Today, I have decided that I am willing to let go of these old and counter productive familiar ways of thinking and feeling about myself.  I have begun to think thoughts that have an air of lightness and hope about them. I want to be true to my best self and just believe that today is a better day than was yesterday. I am, today, breaking out of my negative thinking and into the light of new and positive thoughts about myself. The more I feel that my life has purpose and is going somewhere the more hope I begin to feel rise up in my heart. My new activities each day also promote a sense of well being and pleasure in my life..


God, help us to realize that the best exercise and activity that we can do is to attempt to quiet our restless and wandering mind on your name and pray that you might lead us to think thoughts that are your inspiration and making.”

Copyright(c) HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for 12 step fellowship groups.(2014) DAP. Louisville, Ky. September 13. Page 184.


“Our happiness is now dependent on how we look at ourselves, our world and the understanding that we have of our God. I now know that when I first came into the fellowship, I felt like a stranger in a foreign country. My thoughts and feelings were all confused as I began the journey into myself with a deepening desire to discover the engine that drives my sadness. The battle raged inside of me–a battle that was fought in the shadow of past events and relationships.  It was a personal triumph for me to finally see that there was a way out of this despair and emotional atrophy.  I feel that my life got better by my doing something. I now follow a practical plan as outlined by our suggested 12 step program of recovery. I make sure that everyday that I get into action and do something. I used to think that the “good humor fairy” would tap me on the shoulder and I would be well. This is exactly the opposite of what our program of recovery promotes. Our position is that you have to roll up your sleeves and get to work.”

Quote Source:   The Depressed Anonymous Publication: I’ll do it when I feel better.”  (2013)  #2 OF 13  of  Promises of Depressed Anonymous  WE REALIZE A NEW WAY TO LIVE. Page 13.

The light at the end of the tunnel

“Working the Steps is like the person who heads toward the light at the end of the tunnel. The closer one gets to the light–the more one discovers the way out.” The Promises. DAP, Page 1.

How true this is.  But like any journey, it involves preparation, looking at maps and following the right roads to get to one’s destination.  It was only when my life was filled with the darkness of despair, and I could no longer see the light of hope, did I force myself to surrender to that Power greater than myself. That Power was the fellowship of a 12 Step group. It was there that I found kindred spirits who were traveling the same road as I was. We were fellow travelers following a road with markers pointing out the way to sobriety, serenity and a dynamic and loving fellowship.

Do you want to follow our road? If so, please let us know. For more information on how to get on this road, go to our website at Hope to meet you there.

We seek to prevent depression through education and by creating a supportive and caring community through support groups that successfully keep individuals from relapsing into depression.

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