Category Archives: Depressed Anonymous Workbook

I saw a lonely bird this morning sitting by itself on my backyard fence

I want to share my reflections that I had this morning during my quiet time. As the eastern sky filled the horizon with the light of a morning sun my attention rested upon the silent figure of a bird alone on my backyard fence. It was motionless. Even though many of my backyard friends already were out and about my solitary bird continued to remain  motionless as if it was in a deep trance.

Why I thought  was this bird sitting all alone this morning? Usually, at least it was my understanding that  that animals, insects and  all other four legged and two legged creatures liked to stick together. You can count us in this category as well. We are all pretty much social  creatures.

I must guess that even the hermit crab isn’t a hermit 24/7. But not knowing much about hermit crabs I would think they have some sort of gratifying social life. What do you think. Maybe someone reading this could shed some light  on this matter. Thanks in advance.

Now back  to this lonely bird. How do I know it’s lonely.  I don’t,  but seeing a bird that usually is pretty busy in the morning, got my attention this morning. Was the bird sad? Not feeling well? Just isolating himself to try and get his head together? Beats me as there is nothing wrong in trying to at least think about what’s up with this bird.

Is our friend the lonely bird ending up this morning in that closed system which is  depression. Let’s be honest here. One of the areas of my own depression was the way I talked to myself.  My thinking was my problem. My thinking changed the way I felt and the way I was feeling influenced my moods, and my moods influenced directly my behavior. And possibly I could venture to say that my friend this morning mimicked my own life when I was depressing myself. My thinking began to isolate me as I tried to figure out the reasons I was  depressed. But most of all my negative thinking, hour after hour, day after day all came with these  deep and sad feelings attached to them.

I guilted myself time and again with my irrational thinking so that  my whole physical  self began to shut down. I felt all alone, helpless and hopelesss.  I thought I was all alone. And  I just wonder if this bird this morning was feeling the same things I was feeling. All alone with no one to befriend him or understand.

As we continue to sort out, and separate the various areas of our lives, that  is, our depression symptoms, we find that if we can put effort into looking at the way we think, which decidedly  influences all our behaviors, we can pry open and gain entrance to the hidden source, with the other negative symptoms, such as the way we feel, think,  and  these areas (symptoms) taken as one piece, we find constructs  the way we live out our lives. We are alone and we are  isolated from any social life that would bring us into contact with others.

We know that  this symptom of irrational thinking gradually pushes us  deeper down into the direction of despair. Sometimes completing suicide. We want  to get off the fence of indecision, seek help for our mistaken beliefs about our self, again that is  feeling worthless, self bashing, feeling we are a failure, losing a  love, all these thoughts and feelings. All these   need to be brought out into the open and shared.

By examining the way we think, preferably in a group of persons just like ourselves there are those persons and others like them,  who are found at every Depressed Anonymous meeting. For me the best way to break out of this deadly closed system of depression is to get off the fence and begin to open up your life  to those who are now no longer alone, no longer living in fear, no longer imprisoned by the way they  live, think and feel.

I hope that you might find help in the Depressed Anonymous Home Study kit where you will be able to find your mind and heart motivated to open up, examining areas of your life , looking at yourself square in the face,   discovering  and using the tools which can  set you free.

Hugh

Discovering the closed system of depression with its multiple entry points – locating the chinks in the armor

The closed system of depression with its multiple entry points. (chinks in the armor).

A previous entry or blog spoke about the various entry points of depression symptoms and how they all act together to form a syndrome. Basically, a syndrome is a number of symptoms occurring together characterizing a specific disease or condition. For us, and those of us who may be depressed, this is an important issue to take notice of and spending time reflecting on it. Learning more about depression as a closed system with multiple symptoms can have a positive impact on how we go about dealing with them in our recovery program of the 12 steps. In time you will learn more about the Depressed Anonymous fellowship and their use of the 12 principles (steps) of recovery.

Presently I want to share with you more information as to what makes up the closed system of depression. I think the more we take apart the various elements that make up the syndrome (symptoms) of depression, we are able to focus on one symptom at a time or more. This is what I mean by widening the chink in the armor of our depression. Each one will provide an entry to the particular area that we believe has the greatest responsibility for our being depressed.

Let’s go through the five (5) major areas and see how they each make up this closed system. We discover that symptoms feed on each other and produces a gradual paralysis of will and body which keeps us isolated and disconnected from family, friends and others. It also produces a lethargy where we no longer have regard for ourselves, our health or our future.

I will list the five (5) areas where we can begin to zero in on and list the characteristics of each separate symptom and see which of the five – possibly all of them – have had the principal role in our being disconnected from life and a daily activity.

THINKING

+mistaken beliefs+ feeling worthless+ guilt+ self-accusation+ self-dislike+ failure+ self-hatred + suicidal ideas+ feeling hopeless and helpless+ out of control+ self-pity

PHYSIOLOGICAL

+Insomnia+ decrease in sexual libido+ activity level is zero+ no concentration+ memory loss+ fatigue and bored+ weight loss/gain+ irritable

MOTIVATION

+difficulty planning for the day/future+ no desire for any pleasurable activity+ future looks bleak+ nothing ever works out+ failing at all jobs/projects

BEHAVIOR

+social withdrawal+ work retardation+ low or no interaction with others+ not involved in pleasant activities+ weight loss/gain+ excessive drinking/eating/sleeping

FEELINGS/EMOTIONS

fear+ sad+ angry+lonely+ irritable+ apathetic+ irritable+ loss of sexual activity+ loss of interest in activities that once gave pleasure+ tired all the time+ crying spells+ hopeless+ helpless and bored


We see that in one area of the symptoms the same issue will appear in the other lists of the depression syndrome.

In order to widen the chink in the armor of your own depression please go through each of the five lists and circle those particular items which apply specifically to your own experience with depression.

One of the five areas listed most probably will produce for you that entry point where you can begin to work on the areas that you have circled as having the greatest part in your sadness. Since each symptom affects the other four (4) one can begin to see how the individual issues cycle around and back and forth clamping down, not only the physical person but all the other areas of one daily life.

Here is the strategy for all of us: when we get to working on the various issues in the symptom that has the most issues circled – that in itself will disrupt all the other symptoms so that what happens in one will affect positively all the other. The negative synergism of the whole syndrome-depression – will be shaken and affected by the positive action or changes of just one of the symptoms. And the more we open up an area – our physiological level of inactivity – and set up a regular and daily exercise routine – this will reverberate to all the other four major symptoms. (A personal note here: when I could no longer get out of bed in the morning to go to my job I made a commitment – thinking and motivational – to get up and walk every day – whether I wanted to do it or not.) And it really worked as my mood was better by the mid-day. I no longer felt helpless but I was actually doing something – motivational area affected my mood – the feeling symptom – my behavior as I was not indecisive about exercise – I made a decision to continue to move my body and walk which influenced my thinking positively.

Finally, the closed system of depression has turned into an open and fluid cycle where the negativity of the system has been challenged. Instead of these single deficits of each of the symptoms we now have positive options we can begin with the belief that I too can get better just as others in our fellowship of Depressed Anonymous have broken the bonds of depression and are living lives of serenity and hope.

The 12 Steps and the working the Steps in a group or with the Home Study Workbook and manual will produce a hopeful change as each area, the thinking, the physiological, the motivational, the feelings, and behavior all will be turned into positives and so change our very closed and negative system into a hopeful and positive experience, day after day.

For a deeper look into the open system of hope and healing going to our Depressed Anonymous Workbook for opening and seeing for yourself how thinking more positively and getting motivated to free oneself from depression actually works. VISIT THE STORE for more information.

© 2017 Depressed Anonymous

The Fellowship of Depressed Anonymous

You don’t have to be like this

” As one person told Dorothy Rowe: When I think of all those years I wasted being depressed, I wish I would have listened. I wished I’d realized that all I had to do was to say I’d had enough of being put upon and put down, feeling that there was something wrong with me. I’d like to go up to the hospital  and tell everybody: ‘You don’t have to be like this.’ Up there nobody ever told me that. I’d see those people going on and on being miserable. If I’d seen someone like me now, it would have given me hope.” Page 72 (Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. 2011 )

“…Depression feeds on hurt, pain and self-doubt. When we are depressed we have a need to bash ourselves for our misguided errors and sinfulness.  The fifth step if done genuinely and prayerfully, will in time help restore our sense of freedom  and belief that we are truly forgiven. It is the miracle of the group and its acceptance, love and nurture that helps the depressed person feel secure without recourse to depression.” Page 52 (The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2001) DAP, Louisville.

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For more information on the Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition book and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook –also listed as the HOME STUDY KIT. Please VISIT THE STORE to discover more information about these valuable and helpful study works.

Ordering is available online at our secure Bookstore.

“You become what you do!”

How often have I heard this said about those of us who are involved with the  spiritual principles of the 12 Steps of recovery.  You become what you do. You become what you think. And your behavior promotes a habitual way to act. By doing the same thing time after time promotes a habit.   Good habits   builds our strengths.

One of the recommendations often heard at our meetings is that we  want to  attend as many meetings as possible when we enter through that door of our 12 step recovery. And when we have admitted that our life is out of control and unmanageable it is then that we learn how to begin a new way of living and have a life filled with hope. We call this the time of surrender.

When I finally faced my addictions, it was then that I knew I had to surrender,  to make possible a new life, that new way of living  that had been promised me by those of the Depressed Anonymous fellowship.  And what did I do? First of all I attended Depressed Anonymous meetings, week after week, read all the  literature that was available to me, got  a sponsor,(someone who would mentor me through the Steps, ), made a place in my day for prayer and mediation so that the God of my understanding would continually nudge and guide me to right living and peace of mind. And just like it was promised to me, I  found peace of mind  and freedom from the pain of depression.  I just knew that now I had found a way to have hope plus that  community of people, who  just like myself,  were walking the same path as I was. I was no longer alone!

In our manual , Depressed Anonymous,  we can read how about  those of us who became what they were willing to do to find a way out of their depression.   In  my own life, I found the fog of confusion and pain gradually disappearing,  not overnight, but as I continued to practice the spiritual principles of the 12 steps.  The group meetings plus the daily reading of  the Depressed Anonymous literature will always  work its daily miracle in our lives.

I became what I did to get well! So can you become what you do and what you want to be.

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COPYRIGHT  (C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

COPYRIGHT(C) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Also available one can use the Home Study Combo (DA MANUAL AND  WORKBOOK) for help when there is no DA group in your locality. There is always the ongoing support from the fellowship for guidance and hope.

For more information about who we are and what we do,  go to www.depressedanon.com. Also visit the store here for all the literature that can  be ordered online.

 

 

 

Get connected! Learn how to get connected and begin feeling better!!

#NINE BELIEF

Excerpts from Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2017) DAP. Louisville. pgs 47-50.

“Withdrawing from friends and other social contacts is the first clue that you are slipping back into the isolation and pain of depression. Move toward a friend,  get a sponsor, and go to a 12 Step meeting. Ask your Higher Power for that  nudge that can guide you into the appropriate path.”

“I know in my heart that when I just sit at home by myself, isolating and ruminating within my head about all the terrible things that have happened to me, or are about to happen, that is when I depress  myself even more. Get connected!”

It’s our addictive thinking, our compulsive way of processing infor- mation, which describes how we habitually store the negative but continue to dump the positive information which continually  24/7 flows into our brain. These negative thoughts and feelings persist in keeping  us falling back into the old habit of staying isolated and avoiding others. We might fool ourselves and say that people have nothing to offer me and that is why I distance myself from everyone. Part of my nature when depressed is to avoid and distance myself from whatever I feel is threatening, like a child afraid of the dark.

We know that depression grows stronger when   isolating ourselves from others.

Dorothy Rowe,  tells us in her award winning book, DEPRESSION: THE WAY OUT OF YOUR PRISON, that

“Seeing yourself as  a basically  good person reduces the need  for other people’s approval. If you see yourself as good, you  can set up a select group of people whose approval you desire and can be indifferent to the opinion of the multitude. But if you see yourself as basically bad then you need everybody’s approval….”

David Karp,   in  SPEAKING OF SADNESS  shares the following thought

” that depression is an illness of isolation, a dis-ease of disconnection. As with much of social life, and consequently with much compelling sociological analysis, it is irony that captures the complexity of things. The irony to be explained in Chapter 2 is that depressed persons greatly desire connection  while they are simultaneously deprived of the ability to realize it. Much of depression’s pain arises out of the recognition that what might make one feel better –human connection–seems impossible in the midst of a paralyzing episode of depression. It is rather like dying from thirst while looking at a glass of water just beyond one’s reach.”

For those who have no Depressed Anonymous mutual aid group to connect with in their own local community, our  Publisher, Depressed Anonymous Publications has made available the HOME SELF STUDY KIT. The HOME  SELF STUDY KIT program of recovery includes both the  Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook.  These  two excellent guides provide us with a path out of depression.   By  answering the stimulating  questions  as provided by the WORKBOOK, one also is able to discover the nature of depression while learning how to apply the 12 spiritual principles of Depressed Anonymous to their own lives.

No longer do we have to be alone or feel disconnected in our depression. We provide the necessary resources to help an individual be connected with a community worldwide  who know what it means to be depressed. You don’t have to be alone any longer!

To see what literature is available from our Publisher,   visit the STORE here at our website  www.depressedanon.com. You can now order online.

I have found persons who understand me and my problems

#FOUR/ BELIEVING IS SEEING: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression.  (2017) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.
”  No longer am I alone in my depression. I can now see that it is up to me to form new friendships with others in the fellowship of the Depressed Anonymous Group. I have found persons who understand me  and my problems. I also learn coping skills and new positive behaviors from my fellow group members. ”

Below are listed some of  the advantages of belonging  to the Depressed Anonymous fellowship.

  • Receive acceptance  and support from the fellowship.
  • The fellowship of DA places no judgments  on those who join the group.
  • No longer isolated and alone.
  • No “snap out of it” comments from persons who have not experienced depression.
  • Learn how to gradually remove depression from our lives by utilizing the tools provided by the fellowship.
  • Gain new friends who actually “do know”  how we feel.
  • Learn  skills in taking full responsibility for their feelings, thoughts and behaviors.
  • Learning how to be with others in a mutual aid group while simultaneously  developing our interpersonal and social skills.
  • By being part of the group, with persons like oneself, have an overwhelming BELIEF that since they are all getting better, they tell themselves “so can I.”
  • Depression symptoms grow best in  isolation and the withdrawal from others. Healthy encounters with others like ourselves and by using the spiritual principles of the 12 steps, we begin to feel better and gain   hope for ourselves.

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Ray’s  personal testimony, #20. The Power of Depressed Anonymous  is found in DEPRESSED  ANONYMOUS, 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. pgs.133-134.

           “So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous?  For me, it’s just like attending the first meeting. I was a little scared and apprehensive at first, but then I found the Depressed Anonymous meeting was a place to go where there were other depressed persons just like me. They could relate to and understand what I was going through. They didn’t judge me or think of me as crazy. I WAS ACCEPTED.

Ray tells us how “the most important power of Depressed Anonymous is hope.”

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The fellowship makes available a HOME SELF STUDY KIT comprised of the Depressed Anonymous Manual and The Depressed Anonymous Workbook.  Both of these books can be purchased together.  For those who might desire some further support for issues in their recovery  that may arise from the Self Study KIT can contact us at [email protected].

For many, a Depressed Anonymous  group may not be available in your community and so the reason for the Home Study Kit. Depressed persons who feel isolated and with no group available can  profit  from this Home Study and gain insights into their own depression symptoms plus learn  how to deal with them.

In telling my story I feel hopeful!

It would not seem like a big deal to share our experience with depression at a Depressed Anonymous mutual aid support group. But the surprise comes as we share our own personal journey with others.   We discover that no one drops out of their seats as they hear a new member  tell of their suicide attempts, or the   shame and guilt over the  crazy things I have done in  the past.

There is a freedom that accompanies our story telling because we are hearing ourselves share very personal  things about our past. Once we get started sharing our story   we may feel that we  are letting ourselves be vulnerable.

In our Depressed Anonymous Big Book, 3rd edition, we hear the author tell us the following.

“Many times we have been so scared of being rejected once more that we have withdrawn deeper into the anguish of our shame and hurt. We need to air our hurts, our shame, and let others hear our story. There is something healing about hearing ourselves speak to others about our own journey in life and the many emotional  potholes that we have fallen into from time to time. We have felt our lives jinxed.”

And here is the surprise  I referred to earlier: there is no criticism of what we share.  Everyone in the group thanks us for sharing our  story. We now know that most of the fellowship have experienced some of the same behaviors and feelings themselves at one time or the other. In fact,  their stories and mine have much in  common.  They have no difficulty in seeing themselves in my account of a lifetime of depression. I feel  affirmed. I no longer feel alone. I know I am among friends and among those who are walking  the same  path as myself. We are all in this recovery effort together.

In the Depressed Anonymous Workbook we read the following:

“Have you noticed that you are spending less and less time alone and more time with others in the fellowship and the fellowship grows among you and others that you have met in Depressed Anonymous?”  Let’s just say that our thoughts and feelings are now solution focused  – whereas all we could think about before was how awful we feel. We believed that we  are at the end of our rope.    If there is no meeting in your community, you can use our HOME STUDY KIT which will take you through each Step and it’s commentary (Big Book)  while the Depressed Anonymous Workbook  asks  some very valuable  questions for you to answer as you move through  your recovery program.

For more on this HOME STUDY KIT,    please visit our Literature store at this site. You can also order Depressed Anonymous material online.

SOURCES: Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Depressed  Publications. Louisville.

These  two works form our HOME STUDY KIT and can be ordered as a single unit.

 

I refuse to run from what I feel

AFFIRMATION

I will be in touch with my feelings throughout the day. I refuse to run from what I feel.

“The ability to experience one’s feelings without resisting or running from them, determines to a large degree whether a person is healthy are not.”

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I’m going to make a real effort today to do what I see works for depressed persons like myself. They all say that the longer they are in the program (Depressed Anonymous) , the more feelings they are able to express and the less the unpleasant feelings of fear dominates their life. I am finding that by writing my feelings down, the less frightening they seem to be to me. I am now able to deal head on with my feelings.

My addiction was a way of walling off my pain. In time, I became addicted to the pain and in doing so, I lost myself in the process. I find this experience to be a freeing one.

My addiction was a way of walling off pain. Now the pain is more important than what I am running away from.

What I experience in my life determines to a large extent what I predict life to become. My past experiences are predictors of a life not as yet lived. I am wanting to experience the fact that my good days are more frequent now and my bad days occurring not as often.

MEDITATION

God, the more I give up my need to be depressed the more I’m finding that I’m becoming more assertive and truly present to others in my life. I want you to help me feel my feelings and express them today. [ADD YOUR OWN PERSONAL THOUGHTS HERE]


SOURCE: Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowships. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

“I wanna be free!” (Part 2) HOME STUDY PROGRAM

HOME STUDY PROGRAM

Today  we want to continue to  share more about how the Home Study Program, using  the Depressed Anonymous   Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook can gradually facilitate a better understanding of the nature of depression and our response to it, using the spiritual principles of the 12 steps of Depressed Anonymous

 

The reason most people use the Home Study Program is that it is a simple and straightforward way to begin to  walk on the path that leads out of depression.

So, I admit that I’m depressed. Now what do I do? The next thing we do is to ask ourselves how much can I dare admit to myself  how out-of-control  I really am? How much do I dare tell myself that I have really hit bottom and that I have nowhere to go but to ask for help? I have been afflicted with this tendency all my life to run and hide whenever I was challenged  by a task, a relationship or  old unpleasant memories that frightened me. I would run and hide. I would be willing to barely admit to myself that what I was feeling wasn’t really me.  I also came to believe that the sea of gloom that I swam in  day after day would one day drown me – the exact day and  time just  happened to be unknown at the time.

One of the things that keeps giving me hope at the Depressed Anonymous fellowship meetings  or here on our website (Depressed Anonymous)   is where we can  continue to read about how others   have been successful  in leaving their own prison of depression.  We see a real challenge  that can open a new Vista – a new way to live out our lives and open up hope before us. One man said that the God of his understanding uses him and his depression for helping others who are likewise depressed.   In other words, God will use your depression to help others.

You will learn that you have the choice as to whether you want to stay depressed  or choose to learn the ways to get out of your depression.  In fact you will also learn that you have the opportunity to feel differently, if you so choose.

SOURCE:  The Depressed Anonymous Workbook. Page 5.

One of the most powerful experiences and benefits of being a member of the Depressed Anonymous  fellowship is at that you will learn that you have the choice as to whether you want to stay depressed or choose to learn the ways to get out of your depression. In fact you will also learn that you also have the opportunity to feel differently, if you so choose.

“We” is the first word of step one. It is a very important word to remember because it sets up  immediately sets up a group fellowship with people who are having the same difficulty. It also makes us feel that we too are not alone, but that there is someone else out there that is experiencing the same difficulty as you and me.

 

One the best part of being a member of Depressed Anonymous is that we don’t have to be alone if we don’t want to be. That might sound strange to some of us but we have to admit that what keeps us depressed is our need to keep apart from other.  To remain disconnected and isolated. We have a need to be by ourselves and to stay apart from human contact. For to be in contact with others like me is that we will have to take some risks  and to make some choices. But when I am depressed and alone I don’t have to make as many choices or take any action except to keep  isolating myself and staying apart. This Home Study Program will help you see that it is in being part of a bigger group, with people like yourselves, which  will gradually give you the desire  to be part,  share and  stay involved in your own  active recovery using the 12 steps of Depressed Anonymous. ”

Source:  Home Study Program: (c)The Depressed Anonymous Workbook, pages 4 and 5.

“One of the more constant behaviors of the individual depressing is to engage in fewer and fewer pleasant activities. The person depressed just can’t bring himself or herself to do anything that might cause a sense of elation or pleasure. If you feel that you are bad, worthless and without any value, then you can’t  get yourself to do something that might make you have a good feeling about yourself. An individual depressing can make him or herself feel anxious, sick and even faint. With the support of a group like Depressed Anonymous and the fellowship here on the web one   can begin to see that life doesn’t have to be lived alone and in  misery. And that is precisely the miracle of the group. You begin to see that you can stay parked in  neutral in your misery and feel hopeless or you can  step out in faith as most members of our group do, and admit that you’ve had it with the sadness and begin to choose life. I do believe and know  a renewed sense of hope is in our hands – we can choose to be sad or by our inaction could choose to live without purpose and  joy.  It’s a risk we choose to take. ”

SOURCE: HOME STUDY PROGRAM:  (c)Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Page 37.

NOTE:  The Home Study Program/Kit includes both the Depressed Anonymous Manual and the Depressed Anonymous Workbook. This Program is available for purchase online  here at the Depressed Anonymous Website.  Other literature, which applies to  the 12 Steps and to the experience of depression are likewise available. Check it out.

 

 

How Depressed Anonymous works!

  This statement is read it every depressed anonymous meeting.

“You are about to witness the miracle  of the group. You’re joining a group of people who are on a journey of hope and who mutually care for each other. You will hear how  hope, light,  and  energy have been regained by those who are hopeless and in a  black hole and tired of living.

By our involvement in the group we are feeling that there is hope – there is a chance for me too – I can get better.

 We are not the people with the magic pills and the  easy formulas for success. We believe that  to get out of the prison of depression we believe that to get out of the prison of depression takes time and work.

We have all been wounded in different degrees by the experience of depression. We also know that there is a method to regain control over our lives that is practical and workable. It is successful for all those who want to change their lives. We once believed that there was no hope and that suicide was the only way out.

In this natural world one of the first laws is  that all  growth is gradual – that belief is the bottom line for all of us who are depressed, and who want to get better. The more we attend meetings, the more we will learn and see the various ways to escape depression. We also learned how important it is not to give up on ourselves.”

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Source: Copyright (c). Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Louisville, Kentucky.