Category Archives: Helpful Thinking

Belief, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Faith, Fellowship, Higher Power, Journaling, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

We Trust Our Newfound Beliefs

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THE THIRD WAY TO LEAVE THE PRISON OF DEPRESSION : AN EXCERPT

“We trust others by sharing our recent episodes of loss/sadness while at the same time sharing our hopes and strengths.  We trust our newfound positive beliefs for getting  ourselves out of the prison of depression.

Many of us won’t allow ourselves to trust anyone. We are so distrustful of ourselves that we cannot trust ourselves to feel. The painful hollowness of depression is such that we can’t allow it to be felt.  It is only among our brothers and sisters in the 12 step group that we can share our hurts and deep pain of being isolated. When we hear other members share their stories of hurt and isolation we know that we are not alone. We gradually begin to trust ourselves to touch our own nerves of pain and hurts. We trust the nurturing and accepting atmosphere of the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous to take part of our hurt and help carry us along. Every time we share a hurt from our own past we remove one more brick out of our prison wall of depression. The more we find that our trust is validated by the continual acceptance from the group, the more energy we muster up for ourselves to continue trusting our deepest thought and feelings to others. No longer do we take refuge in the numbed comfort of our isolating sadness. Now we walk upright and begin making choices on how we want to feel, think an believe.  We no longer live our lives in isolation and disconnected from others.  Now we join in the mutual  fray of battling depression with all our new friends on the broad road of healing.”

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SOURCES: Copyright(c) Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. Pages 15-16.

Copyright(c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook (2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

VISIT THE STORE for more literature on the subjects of depression and the 12 steps of recovery.

 

Belief, Step 02, Step 03, The 12 Steps

I accepted that God, as the God of my understanding…

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The Second way out of the prison of our depression states that “I accepted that God, the God of my understanding is loving and forgiving. The 12 Step group and our God is the pillar  of our strength and healing.

LIVING A HALF-LIFE

In depression the first thing that we must do is to take charge of our lives and incorporate a planned pleasant activity in our lives. If I don’t, I will continue to linger on  alone and live a half-life. Nothing beyond my reach can absorb my pain of isolation and feeling worthless.

This is especially true for many of us in mid-life where the dreams we once thought possible  remains stillborn. We seem to have  lost the time to do something positive with our lives. We feel stuck. I want to get involved with a fellowship of persons who  are learning new ways of living with a sense of purpose. We want to live our lives with hope. Step  Two of Depressed Anonymous states that “we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”  We will “let go and let God.” P.11.

Check the menu here  at our site and discover if there is a Depressed Anonymous group in your community.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Believing is seeing: 15 ways to leave the prison of depression.(2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

Mindfulness

It’s time to Bloom!

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It’s definitely Spring.  Here in Kentucky, USA,  everything is suddenly turning green. The tulips, the daffodils, jonquils and the trees are all budding.

“Spring can only start in my mind and today I want to be a beautiful flower. I will visualize myself growing tall and bright and filled with God’s most beautiful colors. Go out and smell the roses. Don’t get stuck in the prison of your grey  colored depression.

“One of the reasons I am depressed is because I have made this an absolute belief of mine, namely., “Since bad things happened to me in the past and only bad things will happen to me in the future.” Dorothy Rowe

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

Now that I am working on myself and admitting that I have work to do, beginning  some house cleaning on myself, I am beginning to hope and see a light at  the end of the tunnel. I also believe that I will begin to feel better the more I attend my Depressed Anonymous meetings and /or work my Home Study Program of Depressed Anonymous. I also will be attentive to how other people in the 12 Step program are  working out their healing, one day, one hour at a time..

The future is now. The future is where I live right now. The future now is the yesterday tomorrow. I am making my future now.

I no longer believe that only bad things will happen to me in the future, because now I hear how people who once were ready to give up on life now speak of how they have found a hope in the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous and are getting better, one day at as time.

MEDITATION

God, please help us live up to our belief that each day we will get better as we live only in today and not in the fears and anxious moments of a tomorrow that may never come.”

Personal comments please.

SOURCE: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 Daily Thoughts and Meditations for members of Twelve Step Fellowships. (1993, 1999). Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. March 21. Page 58.

Courage, Fear

I will outgrow fear

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AS Bill W., states in the Big Book

” …we let God demonstrate through us, what God can do. We ask God to remove our fear and direct our attention to what God would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.”

We believe that as we become aware that God dwells in each of us and demonstrates its power in us the more we remain open to God’s presence.

We humans are so grounded in the material and the spatial that it is veritably impossible to be conscious of a Higher Power in and around us. We now believe that we can tap into this God consciousness and let it unfold its plan, it purpose and mission for our life. It will not plan something small and insignificant  but will, by small steps, lead us, cause us to unfold in our lives what it has for us to accomplish. And I believe the spiritual nature and the fellowship of Depressed Anonymous is what God uses to get us aware and conscious of its love and presence.”

In this quote from I’ll do it when I feel better we learn from the 7th Promise of Depressed Anonymous that as we move through the Steps and our daily  use of the program of recovery  that “we have less concern about self and gain  interest in others.”

“I set in motion a force, a loving force of the creator in my personal life. In time I am filled with energy and found that this power can change me and restore my life with purpose and meaning.”

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SOURCE: Copyright(c) I’LL DO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER. (2014) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. pp.43-45.

 

Belief

Six ways to build a prison of depression for yourself

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“Hold these as if they were real, absolute and immutable truths these following six options.

  1. No matter how good and nice I appear to be, I am really bad, evil, valueless, unacceptable to myself and to others.
  2. Other people are such that I must fear, hate and envy them.
  3. Life is terrible and death is worse.
  4. Only bad things  happened to me in the past and only bad things will happen to me in the future.
  5. It is wrong to get angry.
  6. I must never forgive anyone, least of all myself.”

Excerpted from the book by Dorothy Rowe: Depression. The way out of your depression. Routledge and Kegan Paul. London. 1983. Page 15.

Comment by Hugh S.

I believe that the above list of the  six immutable beliefs is an accurate summation of the major beliefs that one needs to hold if they want to truly stay walled up in their prison of depression. And as Dorothy Rowe always brings out so dramatically -if you build the prison you can likewise take the walls down.

You dismantle your depression by thoroughly examining your own beliefs and how you construct your world. It’s in the way we usually think about ourselves and the world that enables us to predict with accuracy the way things turn out. If I believe my life is hopeless and that I am an evil person, that fact that someone claims that I am not that way still won’t change the way that I believe about myself. The way I have constructed my world will invariably set my life up in a way so that I will feel hopeless and evil.  It is only when I find out that others who once had the same negative mind constructs and thoughts about themselves,  but who now are living with hope that I am beginning to listen and take note. Is there really a way out of this prison of depression?

People who know the painful and deadening experience of depression realize  that they can never just Snap out of their deadness. Just as their sadness feels like it can never come to an end, so does their ability to do anything about the hopelessness seem impossible. But once the depressed person begins to  share their story and the history of their personal experience of sadness the more that can experience hope and the possibility that maybe they too  can escape depression.

Not only do I see people who are depressed gradually start to live with hope and energy but I also see this happen more quickly while they are engaged in a group of other depressed persons. In time, with a person’s   involvement with the group they sense a feeling that they aren’t alone any more and that they can make a choice to try and feel differently. In other words, they will be meeting on a regular basis  with people who will never say SNAP OUT OF IT but instead will say  I’M WITH YOU.  They will also find a new family where they are accepted, understood and strengthened for the work they need to do on  themselves to get better. Again, I can’t emphasize it enough how Depressed  Anonymous is the program  to follow if you want to start feeling better.”

SOURCE: Copyright(c)The  Antidepressant Tablet. Volume 2:1. 1990

12 Step Meeting, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Ego Deflation, Fellowship, Isolation, Mindfulness, Mutual Aid, Purpose, Spiritual Heroes, The 12 Steps

I said to myself, “if I ignore it maybe it(depression)will go away.”

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“There was a time when we ignored trouble, hoping it would go away. Or, in fear and in depression, we ran from it, but found it was still with us. Often, full of unreason, bitterness, and blame, we fought back. These mistaken attitudes, powered by alcohol, guaranteed our destruction, unless they were altered.

Then came AA (and DA. OA, NA,  Al-Anon etc). Here we learned that trouble was really a fact of life for everybody – a fact that had to be understood and dealt with. Surprisingly, we found that our troubles could, under God’s grace, be converted into unimagined blessings.

“Indeed, that was the essence of A.A. itself: trouble accepted, trouble squarely faced with calm courage, trouble lessened and often transcended. This was the A.A. story, and we became a part of it.  Such demonstrations became our stock in trade for the next sufferer.”

COMMENT: It was with my own experience with depression that I tried to deny that it was anything that could keep me from a life lived with hope and joy. I thought that if I just ignored it, like Bill W., stated so well above, it would just evaporate like the morning midst. Of course this just didn’t happen.

As I commented on this denial factor which is a big part of all addictions, I also came to believe that,  “well, what I am going through will surely pass. It isn’t so bad, really. I can put up with a little discomfort.”  Sorry. It didn’t work that way. And as I pointed out in   I’ll Do It when I feel Better  I said  ” we also learn that our depression is a defense and predictable and for some, depression is even come to be a comfort and as has been said before, at least one knows what they have with depression. And to change and risk removing this numbness is better not to be undertaken  because it’s better to know what one has than to risk getting something worse. Much like the example cited before of the debate within ourselves to go to the dentist for the toothache or just tough  it out and hope for the best.  We call this denial.” Page 17.

To examine more literature about depression and using the Twelve Steps in your personal recovery , please taker a look  at VISIT THE STORE here at our website.

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SOURCES:

1) As Bill sees it. Page 110.

2)  I’ll do it when I feel better. (2014)  Depressed  Anonymous Publications.                                  Louisville.

3) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.

 

The Promises

…to lend a helping hand is an absolute necessity

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“…And, despite all your good intentions, you are conscious of a terrible inability to help as you would like to. Then comes the voice of the tempter: Why torture yourself? It is no good. Give up, stop caring. Be unconcerned and unfeeling like everybody else.

Still another temptation arises —compassion really involves you in suffering. Anyone who experiences the woes of this world within  his heart can never again feel the surface happiness that human nature desires. When hours of contentment and joy  come, the compassionate man cannot give himself unreservedly to them, for he can never forget the suffering he has experienced with others. What he has seen stay with him. The anguished faces of the poor return; the cries of the sick  echo in his mind, he remembers the  man whose hard lot he once read about-and darkness shuts out the light of his joy.  Darkness returns again and again. In cheerful company he suddenly becomes absentminded. And the tempter says again:  You can’t live like this. You must be able to detach yourself from what is depressing  around you. Don’t be so sensitive. Teach yourself the necessary indifference, put on an armor, be thoughtless like everybody else if you want to live a sensible life. In the end we are ashamed to know of the great  experience of empathy and compassion.  We keep  it a secret from one another and pretend it is foolish, a weakness we outgrow when we begin to be “reasonable” people.

The three great temptations unobtrusively wreck the presupposition of all goodness. Guard against them. Consider the first temptation by saying that for you to share experience and to lend a helping hand is an absolute necessity.  Your utmost attempts will be but a drop in the ocean compared with what needs to be done, but only this attitude will give meaning and value to your life. Where ever you are, as far as you can, you should bring redemption, redemption from the misery brought into the world by the self-contradictory will of life, redemption that only he who has this knowledge can bring. The small amount you are able to do is actually much if it only relieves pain, suffering, and fear from any living being, be it human or any other creature.   The preservation of life is the true joy.

As for the other temptation, the fear that compassion will involve you in suffering, counter it with the realization that the sharing of sorrow expands your capacity to share joy as well.  When you callously ignore the suffering of others, you lose the capacity to share their happiness, too.  And however little joy we may see in this world, the sharing of it, together with the good we ourselves create, produces the only  happiness which makes life tolerable….”

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It is always a joy to connect with any person like ourselves who lives with depression everyday and give them the serenity and peace which they are looking for.

In our Twelve Step program of recovery, we know all about compassion and healing the hurts of those still suffering-especially those persons depressed.   It is when a person who has worked through all of the Twelve Steps reaches the Twelfth Step that they realize that now that they have experience the healing power of their work with the Steps – now they will want to share this “gift” of recovery with all those persons who are “still suffering.” It is in the sharing of their own experiences and suffering that will lead others to the hope that they too will have the same peace and joy as those of us who have lived out the Promises given to us by the spiritual principles of Depressed Anonymous.

The Twelfth Step tells us that “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to the depressed, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs.”

 

SOURCES: (c)Albert Schweitzer.  Essential writings. (2005) Introduction by James  Brabazon.  Orbis Books. NY. Pages 148-149.

(c)Depressed Anonymous 3rd edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. (2011) Louisville.

(c)   I’ll do it when I feel better.  (2014) Depressed Anonymous   Publications.Louisville.

Ego Deflation, Fellowship, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Miracle Thinking, Mutual Aid, People Pleasing

It’s the miracle of the group where I can start loving myself!

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I have hope that I can accept myself today and just let fly all the old messages from the old tapes of childhood.

“You desperately wanted people to love you, but you became wary of giving your love to others.  You reasoned that the less you loved another person the less it would hurt when the inevitable rejection came.” Dorothy Rowe

CLARIFICATION OF THOUGHT

I have been holed up for so long in my own little world of feeling hurt and rejection that to attempt to love someone else like the greatest challenge of my life.  I desire so badly to be loved by someone else that this lack of another’s love makes my isolation from others so hurtful.

After having witnessed the miracle of the group in DA, where depressed persons come together with their feelings of being hurt and rejected, I find that other’s love and nurture challenge me to hope once again,. I can share with the group the fact that I haven’t measured up, that I am angry and that I just want to lay down and die.

I am open enough now to let the light of love from others , who like myself, realize that I am not alone and that  I am beginning to feel better already now that I no longer need to be perfect.

This means to be willing to affiliate and give of myself for someone else’s good. In the program I am starting to love-myself.

MEDITATION

We are going to make a mental decision right now to let God, as we understand God, guide us and instruct us on how best to love ourselves .”

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Source: Copyright(c) Higher Thoughts for down days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. March 3rd. Page 47.

Meditation, Mindfulness, Prayer, Purpose, Spiritual Heroes, Spirituality

Our thought life will be on a higher plane…

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“On awakening, let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity and from dishonest or self-seeking motives.  Free of these, we can employ our mental faculties with assurance,  for God gave us brains to use.  Our thought life will be on a higher plane when our thinking begins to be cleared of wrong motives. If we have to determine which of two courses to take, we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought, or a decision. Then we can relax and take it easy, and we are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

We usually conclude our meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, asking especially for freedom from damaging self-will.” Page 243 (As Bill Sees It).

And some more thoughts from our friend Bill W.

“In meditation, debate has no place. We rest quietly with the thoughts or prayers of spiritually centered people who understand, so that we may experience and learn. This is the state of being that so often discovers and deepens a conscious contact with God.” Page 108(As Bill Sees It).

Hope

Anxiety and the four simple rules for recovery

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–the cure for physical symptoms of anxiety–

Four simple rules

FACE:  Do not run away

ACCEPT: Do not fight/floating

FLOAT PAST:  Do not stop/pause and listen in

LET TIME PASS:  Do not be impatient with time

For example, the nervously ill person usually  notices each new symptom in alarm, listens in  apprehension, and yet at the same time is afraid to examine it too closely for fear this will make it worse. So he/she agitatedly seeks occupation to try to force forgetfulness.

This is running away, not focusing

He may try to cope with the unwelcome feeling by tensing himself against them, thinking, “I must not let this get the better of me.”

He is fighting, not accepting and floating.

He is listening in, noticing each new symptom with alarm

He also keeps looking backward and worrying because so much time has passed and he is not cured -and if there is an evil spirit that could be exorcised if only he or the doctor knew how to do it.

He is impatient with time, is not willing to let time pass.”

Check in tomorrow for a more account of how this all works, especially whilre learning more about the First fear and the Second fear.

 

The two works which have helped me most of my life in recovery are these two books  written by Dr. Clair Weekes:

Hope and Help for your Nerves

Peace from Nervous Suffering.