All posts by Bill R

Acceptance, Addiction, Choice, Courage, Denial, Ego Deflation, Honesty, Powerlessness

Addicted to sadness?

2 Comments

At a recent meeting we were reading from the Depressed Anonymous literature and the topic of being addicted to sadness came up. There were several people in the meeting who bristled at the idea of sadness being an addiction. Is depression really an addiction to sadness?

Instead of answering that question directly I think it would be helpful to list some common characteristics of any addiction.

  1. It’s an unhealthy coping mechanism for life’s ills.
  2. It worked for a while but now it no longer works.
  3. It has made your life unmanageable.
  4. It is a disease that tells you that you don’t have a disease.
  5. You lie about how often you do this drug/behavior.
  6. You think about it most, if not all, of the time.
  7. You have continuously done this drug/behavior even though it has done great harm to you and loved ones.
  8. It may have caused you to be fired from a job.
  9. It may have caused you to be admitted to a hospital/mental institution.
  10. It may have caused you to be arrested.
  11. It may have caused financial harm in your life.

Any addiction, whether it is alcohol, drugs, gambling, depression doesn’t have to meet all of these characteristics. Like the Jeff Foxworthy “You might be a redneck if…” jokes you might be addicted to sadness if say 5 or more of those characteristics are true.

Something doesn’t need to exactly match the medical definition of chemical dependence or physical dependence to be described as an addiction. Let go of your current belief on what is and is not an addiction. Look at the characteristics above and rate your depression against them. The magic number may not be 5. It could be 4 or 6 or whatever makes sense to you. Try it on for size. You may be able to let go of your skepticism.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

12 Step Meeting, Choice, Counseling, Courage, Fellowship, Helpful Thinking

Intensity of depression and support at those intensity levels

3 Comments

Depression is a complicated disease that has many potential causes. Depression is also not a static disease – its intensity can change over time. The support that you seek out will differ depending on the intensity of the depression.

A metaphor that I have for depression is a rainstorm. Sometimes it is a light rain darkening your day, other times it can be a raging thunderstorm with lightning crashing down and torrential rain.

When the storm is merely a forecast you have ample time to avoid the storm. Eating well, exercise and occasional talk therapy can be enough for you to avoid the storm. Support via Depressed Anonymous is there for you but the storm is so far away you may not feel the need to pursue recovery.

When the storm is on the horizon – you can see it – your intensity of managing the disease will need to step up as well. Depressed Anonymous can help at this level as well. You are far more likely to seek help at this point.

Imagine you are on the open plains and you can see that the storm is a few miles away and headed toward you – Depressed Anonymous can help here as well. Another resource that may help you at this level is something called a warmline – it is not equipped to handle an intense storm like a hotline but it can definitely help you. Each state in the US has warmline organizations that will field calls for those needing support. To get a listing of warmline call centers in the US go to https://warmline.org and find an entry for your state. I’m sure that many other countries have such warmline organizations I’m just not personally aware of what is available in the many nations of the world. Warmline organizations typically can act as an information clearinghouse where you can can information about other support organizations that can support you in your time of need.

If you are on the outer edges of a storm with light rain organizations like Depressed Anonymous and warmline call centers can help with guiding you out of the outer edges of the storm.

If you are in the center of the storm with lightning crashing around you and torrential rain coming down DA and warmline call centers are not equipped to handle this level of a storm. You are in crisis and need to take drastic measures. Perhaps you need to check yourself into a mental institution and get 24 hour inpatient care. Perhaps you should call a suicide hotline or emergency services number in your area. If you are in imminent risk of taking your life through suicide drastic measures are called for. Take those drastic measures – you are worthy of living and receiving care.

Once you are out of the center of the storm and somewhat stabilized rely again on DA and warmline centers. We are all worthy of healing and loving care. Let us love you until you are able to love yourself. I wish you well wherever you are in the storm of depression.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

12 Step Meeting, Hope

Extra DA Conference on Hope Recording

Leave a comment

Folks,

I thought that Zoom had lost the recording of Stacy who was our final speaker on 4 March 2023. Zoom didn’t show the recording initially because the chairperson forgot to stop the recording. Apparently on the back end Zoom did some housekeeping – they found the recording and placed it with the other recordings from that day.

Please listen to Stacy’s story – it is amazing and full of hope. You will not be disappointed.

Go to Depressed Anonymous Conference Recordings.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Belief, Choice, Focus, Helpful Thinking

What you focus on grows

Leave a comment

What you focus on grows.
– Stephen Covey

Prior to recovery my focus was directed at what was wrong and why am I experiencing the difficulties in my life. I only dug the hole deeper making it that much harder to get out. If I look for problems I will find them. If I look for sadness and darkness I will find that as well.

The challenge that faces me is that I need to see things in a new way. I need to focus on love and healing. I need to seek out the good in the world because if I look for it I will find it. I strive to point my focus onto recovery and healing. I’m working the program and not working the problem. I’m not doing it in a Pollyanna way – I recognize that I have a disease and I’m not denying I have depression. I choose to focus on recovery and healing.

The true journey of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.
– Marcel Proust

I challenge you to change your focus. What you focus on grows. Focus on recovery and healing. You are worth it.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

12 Step Meeting, Community building, Helpful Thinking, Hope, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Purpose

Depressed Anonymous Conference on Hope

2 Comments
Date: Saturday 4 March 2023
Time: 11:00am – 4:00pm Eastern time
Zoom Meeting ID: 851 593 3239
Passcode: hope
Direct  link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8515933239

The theme for the conference is hope.

There will be 5 time slots. Four of the time slots will be speakers sharing their story of recovery and weaving in the topic of hope. One of the time slots will be a brief meditation session and a brief yoga session.

All sessions will be recorded and shortly after the conference an audio only version will be available on the Depressed Anonymous website.

We hope to see you there.

If you would like to download a file containing the pertinent conference information please click: DAHopeConference.ics and then open the file on your phone or computer to add it to your calendar.

If you happen to use Google Calendar you can add the conference directly to your calendar by clicking:

Here is a link to a flyer if you want to distribute to others: DA Hope Conference

Do you want to hear what happened at the first Depressed Anonymous conference? Recordings can be found here: Depressed Anonymous Conference Recordings