The 12 Steps

Twelve Steps are the essential beliefs and at the very core of Depressed Anonymous

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Originally published 16 July 2014

The Twelve Steps are the essential beliefs and at the very core of Depressed Anonymous. The DA recovery program, modeled on Alcoholics Anonymous which originally developed to help men and women deal with their addiction to alcohol, one day at a time.

The Twelve Steps have been found to be a potent means of recovery for those who desire to free themselves from their compulsions. The Twelve Steps are basically a program of letting go of our compulsions and handing over our will to God as we understood God. Essentially our program is a step by step way to change not only our addiction but our way of life.

Change happens when we choose to change. The fellowship of the group and our desiring to make changes in our life is what provides our life-giving spiritual experience. Many people get organized religion and spirituality mixed up and DA achieves strength from spirituality without set creed, dogma or doctrine. All the program asks of a person who comes to the meetings is only to have a sincere desire to stop the compulsion of saddening themselves.

Hope

Hope Is A Hard Habit To Break!

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Habits are hard to break! A life filled with negative thinking is a hard habit to break. Smoking is a hard habit to break. Negative behaviors are also hard to break. Living a life filled with anxiety is hard to break.

Developing a new habit takes time, persistence, and a belief that I can rebuild my life. In our Depressed Anonymous fellowship, I have learned that motivation follows action. If we have a plan to break a habit, we must put that plan into action.

Depressed Anonymous offers us a workable plan to break our own negative habits. Our plan is proven to work. You can learn more about these plans by checking out our website at https://depressedanon.com, or Google us at Depressed Anonymous. Trust me, you will be glad that you did!

Hugh S., for the Fellowship

Acceptance

Surrender is not giving up

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There is a negative connotation to the word surrender. We balk at it and say “No, never!”.

Surrender is fully accepting the present as it is. You don’t have to like it, or want it, but the present moment IS WHAT IT IS.

Now you’re not giving up saying that this present moment will go on forever. Everything in the human realm is impermanent. There are things that I can do in the present and the next few moments that can help create an environment where peace and contentment can grow. That is the hope – change is inevitable – we can influence our future. The outcome is in God’s hands but it is up to us to do the leg work.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

12 Step Meeting, Fellowship

Third Depressed Anonymous Conference announcement

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The Third Depressed Anonymous Conference will be held on Saturday 14 September 11:00am-4:00pm ET.

Same Zoom link. The conference will preempt the normal 12:30pm ET meeting.

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8515933239?pwd=YlhQMW5RdVRwUzJWTzRJT0IwdU4rQT09

Theme: Using Mutual Support to move towards Courage to Change

We are looking for volunteers to chair each session. A decision will be made early September who will be speaking.

Send your name or nominations to Bill – [email protected]

Belief, Believing Is Seeing, Faith, Miracle Thinking, Mutual Aid, Prayer

A Better Gift

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Sometimes it comes to our mind that we have prayed a long time and still it seems that we do not have what we ask for. But we should not be too depressed on this account, for I am sure, according to our Lord’s meaning, that either we are waiting for a better occasion, or more grace, or a better gift.
– Julian of Norwich

Hope, The 12 Steps

DA – A Truly Life Changing Journey

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My first psychiatric hospitalization was at age 15. That began two decades of waves of major depression, later called “treatment resistant depression.” I tried just about every medication and therapy there was. My depression lied to me saying I was not good enough (in reality, I was a straight A student and won numerous awards). In my mind, that was not enough, I was not enough. Depression told me “the world would be better off without me.” I found alcohol and other substances to escape my pain. That worked for awhile, but ultimately plummeted me into self-hatred. I had periods of functionality working and pursuing activities I enjoyed. Then depression took over, I couldn’t work anymore, I just could not get up. This depression was a tsunami that swept over me, consumed me. I let everyone down and I hated myself.

Because of my depression, I went on disability with help from my Mom. I made it through one semester of college, then the drinking, the depression and the eating disorder took over. I was hospitalized again. I withdrew from school. I was suicidal and made attempts.

Eventually, I found AA, got sober, worked the steps and found a new life! I still struggled with the eating disorder and the depression but I graduated college and started a career. Depression arose again. Everyone in the rooms of AA was happy, joyous & free…. so what was wrong with me?

After I had my daughter, things were better for awhile. She was the light of my life. Depression kept coming back, even stronger than ever. I was still sober in the rooms of AA, but depression was going to kill me. I tried something new to me: ECT, 6 series over the next 6-8 years. It hurt. A lot. Hellish to go through. It initially helped but the last session put me in a zombie state, unable to speak properly, vocalize or even write my thoughts. Something happened that should not have happened. It scared the hell out of me and my family. Over time I regained my function but I still have memory issues. ECT was no longer an option for me.

Ketamine helped for a while but it felt very addicting and so I stopped it. Suicidal feelings came again and I felt completely hopeless. I might live in an institution for the rest of my life. Even in sobriety I was helpless and hopeless and victimized by depression.

In desperation I googled “depression and 12 steps.” I found the Depressed Anonymous website. I was too afraid to go to a meeting but spoke with a member. I was desperate, utterly despairing. This DA member said he had also felt like that and there was hope for me. HOPE. For Me? I wept. That phone call saved my life. It launched a new life for me, it launched a new path. I got the courage to attend a meeting, I didn’t feel so alone after that. I met people across the globe who experienced depression, understood how I felt and yet they were doing better! I got the DA literature and a sponsor and started doing the work. A few months into DA, I had another severe depression and hospitalization. But I didn’t give up and I kept coming back. My willingness renewed, I worked through the steps with my sponsor and learned I am responsible for my recovery. I am powerless over depression but I am not hopeless. Eventually I started chairing meetings. Service helped me so much! It started to give me the sense that I was just a little capable. I took baby steps. All growth is gradual.

My recovery is like a puzzle: DA is one huge piece of the puzzle. Along with my Higher Power, connecting with my Higher Power, medication, AA, working the steps, eating fairly healthy, weight lifting and going to the gym. There is also puzzle pieces of outreach and service and more. I am off disability for over two years now, and excelling at a great job that I love where I can be of service. I am both a devoted, loving Mother to my daughter and a caring, giving daughter to my Mother. I am capable of being there for myself and others. Yes, I can balance work, life, recovery, service AND learn to have fun again, too!

I have so much gratitude to my DA sponsors and friends, our amazing founder, and all those in this fellowship. This has been truly a life changing journey for me. Life still presents sadness, challenges, fears and “life on life’s terms.” But just for today, I am capable, I have hope and I am not alone.

Yours in fellowship,

Stacy S., March 2024

Community building, Hope

How DA Has Set Me Free

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Working through the DA 12-Step Program started me on a journey which allowed me to face certain truths in my life. They were truths I may not have been aware of or willing to face otherwise. This recovery continues and helps me even today. What is buried deep within can be revealed. I can understand how and why I arrived here. I can come to understand what it is that I need to make myself better. I know that my Higher Power led me here and remains by my side as I continue to navigate my way through life.

When I found DA and the 12 Steps, I was desperate. I was fighting with everything I had to not fall back into another bout of depression. When I’m depressed, I retreat from life and go into survival mode. I sink into a deep, dark hole. My body feels hollow and my emotions are frozen. I lose all interest in “living” my life. My only goal is to survive the day so I can return to the “blessed oblivion” of sleep at night. I do whatever I need to do to stay out of my head which is full of negative thoughts. It feels like hell but it also feels safe and comfortable to be in this dark hole because it allows me to check out of my life. I’ve freed myself from being an active, contributing member of my family, my community and the whole human race. Depression is the excuse I use to not have to deal with any expectations placed upon me by myself or others.

I have discovered a lot about myself on this path. I’ve exposed feelings of fear, shame & unworthiness. I’ve had to work on accepting my negative emotions and becoming more comfortable with the uncomfortable. Allowing myself to be vulnerable, to practice self-compassion and to accept all of who I am both the good and the not so good. This has been a difficult but necessary part of my journey. I’ve had to work on my negative thinking which causes negative feelings which then drives negative actions and produces negative results. Positive and negative experiences/feelings are a natural part of existence. The key is to be able to accept them both!

I am grateful for DA, the Program. Community & all the members who have helped and continue to help me as I go forward. My wish is that everyone who joins DA will find what they need to help them manage their depression. I know this program really does work. There is hope for you, too!

MT, February 2024

12 Step Meeting, Act As If, Belief, DA Literature, Fellowship, Focus, Higher Power, Meditation, Purpose

The Bright Light of Hope

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If we have worked the 12 Steps on a daily basis, we now realize the value of surrender and the power that releases in us, just by making a decision in Step Three to “turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand God” is the beginning of reconnection with life and ourselves. It is in the group that the depressed person begins trusting their members where they have admitted that their lives are unmanageable, and that they have made a conscious decision to turn their lives over to God, or the Higher Power. The Twelve Step program helps people to become God conscious. It is in working the program while making no excuses for the spiritual nature of our recovery, we can begin to attribute our new-found sense of hope and peace to the Higher Power. For the active member of Depressed Anonymous there begins to glimmer in the distance, the bright light of hope.

Submitted by Janet M.

Hope is just a few steps away!