Category Archives: DA Literature

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Hope, Love

No Depressed Anonymous meeting in your community? We have a solution.

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We all know how depression works. It continually keeps us isolated and digging that hole just a little deeper. And one of the problems which we have is to find a group for those who want to be a member of our fellowship. We do have a solution.

We have enlarged our Home Study program so that anyone who wants to join and participate online can do so. We are now taking registrations (just mail us at [email protected] saying you want to be a participant.)

The first thing to do is go to our website at https://depressedanon.com and click onto Menu at HOME STUDY PROGRAM. Here you will be able to learn in more detail what the Home Study involves.

Secondly, there is an excellent testimonial from Kim at Newsletters (The Antidepressant Tablet Vol.1) about the benefits from her working the Steps with a sponsor. Clicking onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore will give you a better idea of what is involved.

We have members of our fellowship who are willing to provide assistance for those who want to use the Workbook and Manual for their own personal recovery. Hopefully this Home Study will enable them to start a group in their own community after having completed the work

There are no fees or dues for this sponsorship. But if your recovery is the most important priority then I do believe you will have a tried and true method of recovery, using the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps. If purchasing the two books is a problem for you, please let us know. The Publisher has made the two books available with Ebooks. All communication between sponsor and participant will take place via emails.

This is a commitment on your part if you want us to sponsor you. I personally have been in recovery for 35 years and this path has definitely given me peace, sobriety and serenity.

Hugh, for the Depressed Anonymous fellowship

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Choice, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps

Was I losing my mind?

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My thinking started to change around the time that I found myself unable to execute simple activities, like getting out of bed.

I found that my mind was no longer calling the shots. All I wanted to do was sleep. Getting out of bed and going to work was the last thing I wanted to do.
That was then.
This is now.

“came to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.”

In the second step we are reminded again that in order to begin the process of recovering from our sadness we begin to look into our lives where we need to find our sense of self and our power.

Our depression used to be our power in that it kept us shackled in depression, a veritable prison of despair and isolation. Now we see that the light is about to shine on us and we can develop our belief in a power greater than ourselves who will deliver us for hope.

To believe that I might gain deliverance from my depression is something that I am beginning to live with for the first time in years. I want to believe that with time, work amid discussion, I will
free myself from this depression.

I need now to write down a list of the things I want to believe in for the present and future so that I might hope that my life will be different.”

Copyright (c) The Depressed Anonymous Workbook.(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

Hugh S

12 Step Meeting, Choice, Community building, Courage, DA Literature, Faith, Fellowship

Starting a Depressed Anonymous face to face meeting

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Perhaps you wish that there was a face to face Depressed Anonymous meeting where you live. There is a solution to that – start one! Here are some pointers that I can share from my experience starting a face to face meeting in my area.

  1. Find another person willing to commit to start a meeting with you
    Of course you could start the meeting on your own it is helpful to share the load with others.
  2. You and others make a time commitment to run the meeting
    I would suggest that make a commitment to yourselves that for a period of time (3-6 months) that even if no one shows up you will run the meeting. This meeting is starting through the force of your and your partners will. You’re not committing forever but rather for that time period. As that time period comes to an end hold a group conscience meeting with the group to determine its future.
  3. Find a place and time to host your meeting
    It could be a church basement, a recovery center, or any place you can secure a room at low or no cost. I recommend that you have a recurring day and time for your meeting so that people can expect you to be there. A meeting that doesn’t have a set time and place is very difficult to build support over time.Try to find a place with a very low cost as you will need to front the money to pay for the first month/week. Some recovery centers price on a sliding scale – the recovery center by me wanted 50% of your 7th tradition contributions. The benefit of this approach is that there is no up front expenses and while your membership is small in the beginning the cost of the room will also be small.
  4. Schedule a launch date/time
    Pretty self explanatory.
  5. Do public outreach
    Announce the meeting at other 12 Step meetings. Although technically you will be violating that other fellowship’s traditions mention that death by suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US and many people with addictions are also depressed.

    I collected all the mental health provider addresses from the web portal for my health insurance. You will be sending them a physical letter (the email address will not be posted on the web portal). Initially when I performed that search I found over 200 entries – that amount of postage was more than I was willing to front. I looked at the data and decided that I would only send a letter to those addresses with two or more mental health providers and that list was approximately 45 – a much more bearable financial burden.

    Get the postal addresses of the rehab centers in your community and send letters to them as well.

    Get the addresses of your local county mental health offices and send letters there as well.

    Find community centers and businesses with physical bulletin boards that would be willing to post your flyer announcing your meeting.
  6. Decide on a format for your meeting
    Are you going to be a meeting where you read from Depressed Anonymous literature? Or is the meeting going to be a topic discussion meeting? If it is going to be a literature meeting you will need to have at least one copy of the literature you will be using (textbook, workbook, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, other).

    As your group collects 7th Tradition donations you may want to buy additional copies so that multiple attendees could read.

    Write a first draft of the chairperson script which at the least should start with a moment of silence or a short prayer, reading the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous, then describing the format of the meeting.
  7. Have and run the first meeting
    Read your chairperson script. Run the meeting. The meeting doesn’t need to be perfect.
  8. As your commitment time draws to a close hold a group conscience discussion
    As stated in number 2 above you (and partners) decided to run the meeting regardless of support. As that time comes to an end you must be ready to turn the fate of the meeting over to the group. Should the group continue? Who can volunteer to lead meetings? Does the format of the meeting work for the group?

That’s the guide as a nutshell. Don’t take the guide as the only way to do it – it is merely one way that happened to work for me. If it doesn’t fit your needs tailor it to your needs.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Acceptance, Choice, Courage, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Honesty, Mindfulness, Serenity

DBT Grounding Techniques – Part 4 Interpersonal Effectiveness

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Part 4: Interpersonal Effectiveness – Communicating with Clarity and Confidence

Relationships can be one of the biggest sources of both support and stress. When emotions run high, it’s easy to fall into patterns of people-pleasing, avoidance, or conflict—especially when struggling with anxiety or depression. Interpersonal Effectiveness teaches you how to communicate your needs clearly, set healthy boundaries, and maintain relationships without sacrificing your well-being.

By practicing these skills, you can navigate tough conversations with more confidence and build stronger, more balanced connections. Let’s explore some grounding techniques to help you stay present and intentional in your interactions.

Interpersonal effectiveness helps you navigate relationships in a way that balances your own needs with the needs of others. It focuses on building and maintaining healthy connections, while staying true to your values and boundaries. Below are grounding practices that help manage emotional intensity during interactions and promote balanced, effective communication.

1. DEAR MAN: A Framework for Effective Communication

DEAR MAN is a structured approach to expressing your needs clearly and calmly while maintaining relationships and reducing anxiety.

How to Practice:

  1. Describe
    • Start by stating the situation objectively, without emotion or judgment.
    • Example: “When you borrowed my book and didn’t return it on time…”
  2. Express
    • Share your feelings using “I” statements.
    • Example: “I felt frustrated because I needed it for my class.”
  3. Assert
    • Clearly state what you need or want.
    • Example: “I need you to return borrowed items by the agreed time.”
  4. Reinforce
    • Highlight the benefits of meeting your request.
    • Example: “This way, we can avoid misunderstandings in the future.”
  5. Mindful
    • Stay focused on your goal during the conversation, even if emotions arise.
    • Use phrases like “I understand your point, but…” to stay on track.
  6. Appear Confident
    • Speak with a steady voice, make eye contact, and avoid apologizing excessively.
  7. Negotiate
    • Be willing to find a middle ground if needed.
    • Example: “If Tuesday isn’t possible, can you let me know in advance?”

2. FAST: Upholding Self-Respect in Interactions

FAST is a tool to maintain your self-respect and integrity while engaging with others. It’s particularly useful for setting boundaries or navigating difficult conversations.

How to Practice:

  1. Fair
    • Be fair to yourself and the other person. Avoid self-blame or being overly harsh.
    • Example: “I understand you had a busy week, but I still need to address this.”
  2. Apologies
    • Avoid apologizing unnecessarily or for things beyond your control.
    • Example: Instead of saying, “I’m sorry for bringing this up,” say, “I’d like to discuss something important.”
  3. Stick to Values
    • Stay true to your core values, even if it feels uncomfortable.
    • Example: If honesty is important to you, say what needs to be said respectfully.
  4. Truthful
    • Be honest and avoid exaggerating or sugarcoating.
    • Example: Instead of saying, “You always do this,” say, “This has happened a few times, and it’s affecting me.”

3. Radical Acceptance: Letting Go of the Struggle

Radical acceptance is a practice of acknowledging and accepting situations as they are, without trying to fight reality. This can provide grounding in interpersonal conflicts or when emotions feel overwhelming.

How to Practice:

  1. Acknowledge the Situation:
    • Identify what is happening without judgment.
    • Example: “This person has different priorities than I do right now.”
  2. Accept the Reality:
    • Say to yourself, “It is what it is. I can’t change this situation, but I can choose how I respond.”
  3. Release the Struggle:
    • Let go of the desire for things to be different. This doesn’t mean you condone the situation, but you stop resisting it emotionally.
    • Example: Instead of fixating on someone’s behavior, shift your focus to how you’ll manage your feelings.
  4. Practice Self-Compassion:
    • Remind yourself that acceptance takes time and effort. Be kind to yourself if it feels difficult.

Combining Practices

These techniques can be used individually or together for more complex situations:

  1. Use DEAR MAN to effectively express your needs during a tough conversation.
  2. Apply FAST to maintain your self-respect and boundaries, ensuring you stay true to yourself.
  3. Practice Radical Acceptance if the situation cannot be resolved or changed, helping you ground yourself and let go of unnecessary emotional tension.
DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous

The Power of Depressed Anonymous

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Originally published 16 July 2014

By Ray

What is the power of Depressed Anonymous?
Well, first let me that when I started attending D. A. meetings I went for a couple of months and then stopped. I stopped going because my depression was so bad I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I didn’t want to be around or talk to anyone. I just didn’t want to do anything except crawl in a hole somewhere and isolate myself from everything. Then after about six week of isolation I called the residential treatment facility where I had been a client to see if I had received any mail there and one of the members of the D. A. group where I attend answered the phone. I spent a few minutes talking to her and there was something in her voice that told me that for some reason it was important for me to be at the meeting. I attended the next D. A. meeting. After the meeting was over, I suddenly realized the importance and power of Depressed Anonymous.

So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous? For me, it’s just like attending the first meeting. I was a little scared and apprehensive at first, but then I found the Depressed Anonymous meeting was a place to go where there were other depressed people just like me. They could relate to and understand what I was going through. They didn’t judge me or think of me as crazy. I was accepted.

Another power of Depressed Anonymous the group and what each person brings to the group. I have seen our fellowship get stronger and grow. I have developed many friendships that I can depend on for support and understanding, I have watched some of the newcomers that have kept coming back, grow and improve, Even something as simple as a smile when there as not before. The miracle of the group empowers and energizes me.

The most important power of Depressed Anonymous is hope. Hope that we will not be
locked in the prison of depression forever and that there is a way out for each of us. A hope that our Higher Power will work the miracle through us and that we will fwd our own happiness. I have hope that our hearts and minds will know love and peace like we have never known or felt before. The power of Depressed Anonymous works for me. I hope and pray that it works for you. Keep coming back!”

Source: DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, Harmony House Publishers, 1998, Pages 154-155.

Belief, Believing Is Seeing, Faith, Miracle Thinking, Mutual Aid, Prayer

A Better Gift

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Sometimes it comes to our mind that we have prayed a long time and still it seems that we do not have what we ask for. But we should not be too depressed on this account, for I am sure, according to our Lord’s meaning, that either we are waiting for a better occasion, or more grace, or a better gift.
– Julian of Norwich

12 Step Meeting, Act As If, Belief, DA Literature, Fellowship, Focus, Higher Power, Meditation, Purpose

The Bright Light of Hope

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If we have worked the 12 Steps on a daily basis, we now realize the value of surrender and the power that releases in us, just by making a decision in Step Three to “turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand God” is the beginning of reconnection with life and ourselves. It is in the group that the depressed person begins trusting their members where they have admitted that their lives are unmanageable, and that they have made a conscious decision to turn their lives over to God, or the Higher Power. The Twelve Step program helps people to become God conscious. It is in working the program while making no excuses for the spiritual nature of our recovery, we can begin to attribute our new-found sense of hope and peace to the Higher Power. For the active member of Depressed Anonymous there begins to glimmer in the distance, the bright light of hope.

Submitted by Janet M.

Dep-Anon: Family and friends, Depressed Anonymous

Coming to DA I learned how to be free from saddening myself

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When I was about twelve I heard the term manic depression for the first time.  I did not understand the definition I was given but I knew it had something to do with me. It was then that I began the process of hiding my sadness and negative emotions because the message from those around me was that being sad and afraid was unacceptable.  More than once in grade school teachers called me aside to ask about what might be going on in my life that could cause me to isolate on the playground.  I did not know what to tell them as I did not understand myself, but it was the beginning of habitual self-abandonment.

Throughout my teens, I had continued periods of isolation and social hyper-activity.  I became an introvert but disguised myself as an extrovert.  To hide my social anxiety and fear I got involved in school plays, clubs and leadership.  I began to split my personality between the boy who made his family and friends laugh and the boy who cloistered himself in his bedroom.  Escapism began to be a big part of my thinking and desires.  In college I became even more depressed and felt more isolated.  I habitually cut class and spent the days dissociating by “philosophizing.”  I was clearly searching for personal significance and a connection to a God of my understanding.  I felt alone like never before with the increasing awareness of the great disparity between the world I came from and the world I was faced with in college

In graduate school I maintained a high degree of involvement in the department and in the school leadership.  I cultivated a robust social life finally being accepted and stimulated socially, culturally and intellectually.  For the first time in my life I felt accepted among an understanding group of professors and colleagues that nurtured me just as I was.  I learned a great deal in a safe environment, one that I never knew existed, and I excelled intellectually in a manner I never thought possible.  I proved to myself that I was worthy and able to perform in academia.  Still, I often cried myself to sleep wishing I was dead and not understanding why.  I developed PTSD after 9/11 and as the depression became unmanageable I spiraled into near homelessness.

After discovering DA I came to know that I was not alone but that other people had gone through the same things I had or worse.  I found a group of people that understood what it is to be depressed and accepted my story without judgment or added stigma.  DA relieved me of the stigma of being damaged beyond repair that had plagued me my entire life.  Coming to DA made me realize I was not the only one carrying the burden of depression.  I was not chronically alone.  I was not isolated in the despair of depression.

Through DA and hearing other people’s shares I realized my experiences were a valid source of the disappointment, dismay and depression I had been feeling all my life.  I learned also that surviving those experiences could be a source of strength that testified to my perseverance over them.  This self-awareness has also given me new found hope that had been missing from my outlook on my life and future.   Hearing others’ experiences as well as working the steps has given me hope: the hope that, yes, I can manage depression and live a fuller life.  Most importantly learning the concept of saddening myself has done more to liberate me from sadness.  I know now that my mind and emotions have been conditioned to recreate my past sadness which was instilled in me by others and society.  Now I can recognize the manner in which I sadden myself and take the steps to stop it and reverse it.

January 2024, Luis, NYC

DA Literature, Helpful Thinking, Higher Power, Higher Thoughts for Down Days, Hope, Stress

Motivation Follows Action

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AFFIRMATION
I promise to do something positive for myself today.
“When you are depressed you are plagued by tiredness. Indeed, there are many people who experience the major portion of their depression in tiredness.”

Copyright(c) Dorothy Rowe. Breaking the Bonds, Fontana. 1981.

I find that if I am depressed and want to start to feel better, or at least get my mind off of depression, I need to go for a walk and keep on moving. In DA we say MOTIVATION FOLLOWS ACTION. WHAT THIS MEANS IS THAT YOU’LL NEVER GET MOTIVATED TIL YOU GET BUSY DOING SOMETHING. This was my feeling a lot of time. It was only when I started walking that I wanted to walk. I didn’t want to do anything to help myself, until I forced myself to do something.

I believe that one’s tiredness when depressed comes from having too many things going through one’s brain at the same time. The strain of being overwhelmed is too much for the human brain and so it and the body begin to show the signs of stress. I also believe that so many unpleasant emotions constantly coming to surface and being felt by the body results in an overload situation in my brain.

Copyright(c) Dorothy Rowe, Breaking the Bounds. Fontana. 1981

QUOTE FROM:
Hug Smith. HIGHER THOUGHTS FOR DOWN DAYS. DAP. LOUISVILLE, KY. 2005 (January 24) Pg.15.