Category Archives: Higher Power

Courage, Depressed Anonymous, Fear, Helpful Thinking, Higher Power, Positivity

Courage to Change

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Fear has held me back so often in life, especially in depression. Although I hated the feelings of depression, there was a security in that dark depressing place. A respite from the uncertainties of the world. Change involves uncertainty – or the question “What if?”  My mind automatically goes to the negative.  What if I try this again & fail again? What if I can’t do it?  What if I’m not capable?  And so on. The needle on my mental compass defaults to negative thinking. I have to make a serious effort to shift my thinking to the positive.  It occurred to me that I could ask myself other “what if” questions.  What if I can make a positive change?  What if I am capable?  What if I can do something good for myself? What would that look like, and what would that feel like? It was almost scary to find out!  Again, because it was different and new.

I’ve made a lot of positive changes in my life lately, and I had to ask my Higher Power for help. I said, “God, please give me the courage to change the things I can.  Please give me the courage to walk through the fear. I know that with Your help, one day at a time, this is possible.”  It has been possible, and it still is!  I’ve been walking through fear and making positive changes!  Two years ago I thought it would be impossible for me to get up Monday through Friday and go to work (let alone get out of bed and be functional, or show up to chair a meeting). But with the help of my Higher Power, this program & the fellowship – just for today – God has given me the courage to walk through fear and change the things I can. And for that, I am immensely grateful. ❤

Higher Power, Love

Why am I here?

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Many of us face this existential question:

Why am I here?

For me this depressive the question Why? is crazy making. I can jump up on the mental gerbil wheel and go around seemingly forever. The question Why? creates suffering for me – I need to let it go.

OK, so Why is not healthy for me, what other existential question can I ask myself that doesn’t create suffering?

The question that I choose to ask myself is:

How am I to live my life?

I could potentially go down many different paths on that simple question. What does my Higher Power say on the matter?

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
John 13:34, NIV

You certainly can have your own conception of God and you need not see your Higher Power in the same way that I see mine. You don’t have to buy into the rest of Christianity – it is fraught with many apparent contradictions, and even I struggle with it. I just bring my focus back to John 13:34 – that is the essence of what I’m supposed to be doing in my life.

I am a flawed human being and I fall short of that ideal each and every day. I say that not to beat myself up but rather to state things as they are. Just because I wasn’t as loving as I could be today shouldn’t prevent me from trying again tomorrow to come closer to the ideal.

It’s my responsibility to keep my focus on loving others as He has loved me. I need to seek with prayer and meditation to discern what that looks like today in my life.

I firmly believe that the present moment is not about the Why but rather the How. When I remember to do that my life is so much easier. When I go back to the Why I suffer. I have a choice today and I choose to focus on the How.

Yours in recovery,
Bill R

Community building, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Helpful, Higher Power, Mutual Aid, Purpose, Stress

DA fellowship as my scaffolding 

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Some great advice I got from my sponsor was to “find my help and use my help.”  Often times my help comes in the form of DA members.  Over the last two years I’ve spent time at meetings and on the phone in between meetings with members of the fellowship, and they have become an important part of my recovery.  I have built up a network of people around me, much like one uses scaffolding to build a new structure.  I have been built anew by the steps and the help of the DA fellowship.  Now, when life presents me with problems and struggles that previously felt unmanageable and too overwhelming to deal with, I have a support structure in place that I can lean upon.  I have found my help and now I know how to use that help.  All I have to do is pick up the phone and reach out to my DA fellowship.  Through their help, the help of my Higher Power, and the steps, I will be guided to sanity and solutions.

Acceptance, Avoidance, Depressed Anonymous, Focus, Helpful Thinking, Higher Power, Necessity, Step 02, Step 03

Keeping my Higher Power Highest

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Throughout my life, different things have been my Higher Power.  A certain job that I loved and prioritized above all else, or the person I was dating.  When I was in active addiction, different substances were a higher power.  Before recovery, the looming black cloud of deep depression was a higher power.  

Once I got into recovery and the steps, I was encouraged to find a true Higher Power, or God of my understanding – a Power greater than myself that could restore me to sanity.  In other words, Step 2.  I can honestly say that after many months of praying and working the steps, this Power relieved me of the obsession to drink and helped me to recover from the hopeless dark pit of deep depression. 

My challenge today, now that I am not in that deep dark hole of depression, is to keep my Higher Power the highest priority in my life.  For example, I recently started a short term job in a field that I am very passionate about.  It has been very demanding and time consuming, and I’m finding that this position is consuming my thoughts, actions, and life.  When I talked to my sponsor about this, she asked “So, has this job has become your Higher Power?”  I realized she was right!  Where was God in my life?  In my thoughts?  How can I be working Step 3 if I am not cognizant of my Higher Power and turning my will and my life over to His care?  I realized this job had become my priority in life, instead of my Higher Power and my recovery.  I am grateful for this reminder, so that I can get back on track.  I know that when I don’t place my Higher Power and my recovery first in my life, I start to slip back into old thinking patterns and old behaviors, which for me will lead me back into depression. 

Thank you, God, that You are always there for me, ready and willing to help me, no matter how many times I stray.

Acceptance, Choice, Faith, Higher Power

Happy Independence Day

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I live in the United States and today we celebrate our freedom. We are all captives of something or someone. Some of us are captives to addiction: drugs, alcohol, or some behavior. Many of us here have been captives of anxiety and depression. Many people are trapped in consumerism.

There is however a way out. Apply spiritual disciplines to your life, you will be surprised by the results. We are all trying to find our way to the God of our understanding. Some of us go down the side roads of addiction and depression, but you don’t have to continue down that route. Get in communion with the God of your understanding.

If you’ve been burned by past interactions with religion – theory and doctrine, or by people who misinterpreted God’s message I have a suggestion for you. Explore the mystical sects of the religion of your youth. Islam has the Sufi’s, if you’re Christian read the works of Thomas Merton, or Saint John of the Cross. The mystics all talk about experiencing the presence of God in your life. Explore.

You have a choice: you can either be a host to God, or a hostage to self. Choose to be free!

Anger, Anxiety, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Ego Deflation, Fear, Fellowship, Forgiveness, Higher Power, Indecision, Isolation, Mutual Aid, Prayer, Purpose, Step 01, Suffering, Supportive Actions

I’m depressed! Where do I go from here?

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NOTICE: Whenever a blog post mentions an online meeting be sure to consult the page Online Depressed Anonymous Meetings for the most up to date and correct information. If the blog post is more than a few days old there is a chance it could be incorrect.

“Now that I have admitted I am having a difficult time living I want to learn some new avenues that will make my life more enjoyable and much more livable.” Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. 2002.
Are the sad feelings of depression causing your life to be lived inside the prison of hopelessness? Have your moods deepened to the extent that you are no longer able to function. By that I mean are you unable to do even the basic things like talking to family or friends, holding onto a job, getting out of bed in the morning, or just to concentrate on any single thought for any length of time. Some of us are unable to sleep when we are depressed. Some of us gain weight because of inactivity and fatty comfort foods. If you say yes to any of the above life changers then you could possibly be suffering from the symptoms of depression.

I know now that at the point that I think my life is at its lowest point…that is when this program of recovery came into my life. I believe with the Psalmist who once stated that we need to commit ourselves to God, trust in him, and that the God of my understanding will act in my behalf.

When we learn to let go+ of those persons, mental images, painful past personal situations and memories the better I am able to let God control my life. I find this letting go a fearsome project but nevertheless I find that I must do it if I want to find hope once again.

“Some of the major ways people help buiild the walls of derpession are to consider themselves worthless, won’t allow themselves to get angry, they can’t forgive themselves or others, and they beleive that life is hard and death is worse. Also, they beleive that since bad things happened to them in the past bad things are bound ti happen to them in the future.”
Depressed Anonymous, Third Edition, Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisvile. KY. 2011. Page 28-38.

And so to answer my question, where do I go from here? I personally suggest that you find a Depressed Anonymous meeting and be part of the conversation. But now with the covid-19 surrounding us, most face to face meetings have paused for safety reasons.

We are now very fortunate to have an online International Depressed Anonymous Skype meeting every day. It is live at 11:30AM CST and at 12:30PM EST. The Depressed Anonymous meeting originates from the USA, and can be accessed by anyone with the Internet.

For more information please go to www.depressedanon.com, click onto Depressed Anonymous HOMEPAGE drop down menu at MEETINGS and it is there you wil find a link to the meeting live.

If there are other questions please contact [email protected]

For more information about Literature on Depression and the 12 Steps please click onto THE DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS PUBLICATIONS BOOKSTORE for online ordering.

The DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS Third Edition is available as well as the DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS WORKBOOK. Both these can be downloaded as Ebooks from our website.

Choice, Fellowship, Higher Power, Mutual Aid

I can make it through the next 24 hours. We will show you how

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AFFIRMATION

My best chance of surviving and living through this sadness that is worse than death is to hold on to the conviction that it will not last forever.

REFLECTION

I now can see how the Depressed Anonymous group program changes people from week to week. The longer a person attends DA meetings, online or face to face, I can see  a change in their physical features as they seem  not so brooding and preoccupied. The people who work the 12 Step Program of recovery begin  placing  their trust in their Higher Power which gives them the courage to resist falling back into that old  familiar and comfortable pattern of saddening themselves. Each new day brings with it a stronger sense of hope as living becomes less restrictive and harsh.

My sadness began so long ago that the interminable feelings of hopelessness and despair seems to me so much of being human that is, until others tell me that this sadness is not their own experience. Then I knew I was different but that with  time and help, I would be feeling better about myself as I discovered some of the ways I got the way I am. The more I hear the stories of  others recovering members of Depressed Anonymous  groups (See Depressed Anonymous book/Personal stories section)  , the more hope I have. I now believe  that  in time I will begin to feel better.

MEDITATION

Seeds with proper nourishment grow strong and healthy. Some plants grow well at night and in a cooler environment. Some in daylight. We pray that God will let us go through our present darkness   completely turning  our will and life over to its purpose.

RESOURCES:

(C) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville,. KY.

(C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville.KY

Higher Power

A Power greater than myself

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ANXIETY

(Aware)I find comfort in my anxiety in that I am too afraid to do anything in my own behalf. I am conscious that my anxiety  about yesterday with its pain, hurt and repressed anger consumes my life today,  while the anxiety and “what ifs” of tomorrow with its’  anxiety and fears about what might happen, continue to  overwhelm me.  I am also conscious that my beginning to loosen my “death grip” of living in my own will and now  letting God move in my life that my anxiety may possibly lessen.

(Motivating) I am reading the Steps everyday and beginning to see that there is hope for me if I can live in the present and jump  out of yesterday and stay out of tomorrow.  The more I learn how my fears, anxieties are keeping me holed up in my enlarged ego the less possible is it for me to let  the Higher Power direct my course. I am developing my faith and learning to let go today.

(Doing) I have already admitted I’m depressed and that my life is out of control because of it. Secondly, I came to believe that there is a power greater than myself that is going to  restore me to sanity.  I have followed Step Three as suggested and have turned my life  and my will over to the care of God as I understand him. I have also learned not to run from my fear but stay and feel it. What I resist persists and gets stronger.

Maintaining. My depression and its anxiety lessens the more that I speak at DA meetings and share with   members of the group what my fears are. My progress is one day at a time. I am going to  make a daily inventory and continually ask God to remove all my shortcoming.

The Depressed Anonymous Workbook(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Page 43/Step Four.

Acceptance, Choice, Fellowship, Higher Power, Mindfulness

There is hope for you now

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AFFIRMATION

“One of the most important things to remember in  the midst of depression  is that it won’t last forever, that there is hope for you to begin to feel better. We won’t tell you to SNAP OUT OF IT (who have never experienced depression) like other folks,  because we are not turning something on and off like a water faucet. Just as it took years to get where you are now, it   takes  time to get better and air out your sad thoughts as well.” D. Rowe

I know that in our program of recovery we try and live one  day at a time. This is not easy for someone who usually wants to know the outcome for something that might happen ten years from now,  not to mention the need to try and make right something not done properly ten years from our past.  When I work my program I want to work on myself, finding serenity in knowing that in time and with patient work I can begin to feel better. There are just too many success stories of how people get better  when they work their Twelve Step recovery program.

Forever is a word that hardly is heard in a Depressed Anonymous meeting. I intend to try and live just for today. I accept that I am depressed but that I do have a choice to find my way out of this sadness. I also believe  that it is irrational to think that this sadness can last forever. The more I change the way I think and behave the more positive will my attitude be about my recovery.

MEDITATION

Our Higher Power, or our God as we understand God, is guiding and leading us toward a life free from sadness. We intend to place more of our trust in its hands. (Personal comments).

RESOURCES

(c) Higher Thoughts for Down Days: 365 daily  thoughts and meditations for members of 12 Step Fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY.

(C) Depressed Anonymous, 3rd edition. (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.  (May 21, page 103.)

Note. To discover more literature about depression and recovery  please click onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore at  VISIT THE STORE.  All literature can be ordered online.

Acceptance, Faith, Fellowship, Higher Power

I am part of something bigger than myself.

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By being in a recovery group I am able to beat loneliness.

In the group, I established myself and I got some positive feedback from others who watched me grow and who have seen the genuine change I have made  personally. I am gradually throwing off my personal war  with sadness. The real support comes when I begin to learn that members of the group have the same problems that I have. This helps me trust  others with the story of my life. These people are the ones who want to hear my story of how depression almost cost me my  life. Now, my life is freeing me from my need to sad myself.

I feel more able to attach myself to the group now that I know that they are struggling with the same depression that I struggle with. I no longer have to fight this battle on my own.

MEDITATION

God you are our rock and our refuge, on you I place all my trust. We know and believe easier now than before, that God has something good in store for us today.”

 

Source:

(C) Higher Thoughts for down days:365 daily thoughts and meditations for members of  12 Step fellowship groups. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville. KY. Page 69. April 26.