Category Archives: Depressed Anonymous

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Hope, Love

No Depressed Anonymous meeting in your community? We have a solution.

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We all know how depression works. It continually keeps us isolated and digging that hole just a little deeper. And one of the problems which we have is to find a group for those who want to be a member of our fellowship. We do have a solution.

We have enlarged our Home Study program so that anyone who wants to join and participate online can do so. We are now taking registrations (just mail us at [email protected] saying you want to be a participant.)

The first thing to do is go to our website at https://depressedanon.com and click onto Menu at HOME STUDY PROGRAM. Here you will be able to learn in more detail what the Home Study involves.

Secondly, there is an excellent testimonial from Kim at Newsletters (The Antidepressant Tablet Vol.1) about the benefits from her working the Steps with a sponsor. Clicking onto The Depressed Anonymous Publications Bookstore will give you a better idea of what is involved.

We have members of our fellowship who are willing to provide assistance for those who want to use the Workbook and Manual for their own personal recovery. Hopefully this Home Study will enable them to start a group in their own community after having completed the work

There are no fees or dues for this sponsorship. But if your recovery is the most important priority then I do believe you will have a tried and true method of recovery, using the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps. If purchasing the two books is a problem for you, please let us know. The Publisher has made the two books available with Ebooks. All communication between sponsor and participant will take place via emails.

This is a commitment on your part if you want us to sponsor you. I personally have been in recovery for 35 years and this path has definitely given me peace, sobriety and serenity.

Hugh, for the Depressed Anonymous fellowship

DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous

The Power of Depressed Anonymous

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Originally published 16 July 2014

By Ray

What is the power of Depressed Anonymous?
Well, first let me that when I started attending D. A. meetings I went for a couple of months and then stopped. I stopped going because my depression was so bad I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I didn’t want to be around or talk to anyone. I just didn’t want to do anything except crawl in a hole somewhere and isolate myself from everything. Then after about six week of isolation I called the residential treatment facility where I had been a client to see if I had received any mail there and one of the members of the D. A. group where I attend answered the phone. I spent a few minutes talking to her and there was something in her voice that told me that for some reason it was important for me to be at the meeting. I attended the next D. A. meeting. After the meeting was over, I suddenly realized the importance and power of Depressed Anonymous.

So what is the power of Depressed Anonymous? For me, it’s just like attending the first meeting. I was a little scared and apprehensive at first, but then I found the Depressed Anonymous meeting was a place to go where there were other depressed people just like me. They could relate to and understand what I was going through. They didn’t judge me or think of me as crazy. I was accepted.

Another power of Depressed Anonymous the group and what each person brings to the group. I have seen our fellowship get stronger and grow. I have developed many friendships that I can depend on for support and understanding, I have watched some of the newcomers that have kept coming back, grow and improve, Even something as simple as a smile when there as not before. The miracle of the group empowers and energizes me.

The most important power of Depressed Anonymous is hope. Hope that we will not be
locked in the prison of depression forever and that there is a way out for each of us. A hope that our Higher Power will work the miracle through us and that we will fwd our own happiness. I have hope that our hearts and minds will know love and peace like we have never known or felt before. The power of Depressed Anonymous works for me. I hope and pray that it works for you. Keep coming back!”

Source: DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS, Harmony House Publishers, 1998, Pages 154-155.

Dep-Anon: Family and friends, Depressed Anonymous

Coming to DA I learned how to be free from saddening myself

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When I was about twelve I heard the term manic depression for the first time.  I did not understand the definition I was given but I knew it had something to do with me. It was then that I began the process of hiding my sadness and negative emotions because the message from those around me was that being sad and afraid was unacceptable.  More than once in grade school teachers called me aside to ask about what might be going on in my life that could cause me to isolate on the playground.  I did not know what to tell them as I did not understand myself, but it was the beginning of habitual self-abandonment.

Throughout my teens, I had continued periods of isolation and social hyper-activity.  I became an introvert but disguised myself as an extrovert.  To hide my social anxiety and fear I got involved in school plays, clubs and leadership.  I began to split my personality between the boy who made his family and friends laugh and the boy who cloistered himself in his bedroom.  Escapism began to be a big part of my thinking and desires.  In college I became even more depressed and felt more isolated.  I habitually cut class and spent the days dissociating by “philosophizing.”  I was clearly searching for personal significance and a connection to a God of my understanding.  I felt alone like never before with the increasing awareness of the great disparity between the world I came from and the world I was faced with in college

In graduate school I maintained a high degree of involvement in the department and in the school leadership.  I cultivated a robust social life finally being accepted and stimulated socially, culturally and intellectually.  For the first time in my life I felt accepted among an understanding group of professors and colleagues that nurtured me just as I was.  I learned a great deal in a safe environment, one that I never knew existed, and I excelled intellectually in a manner I never thought possible.  I proved to myself that I was worthy and able to perform in academia.  Still, I often cried myself to sleep wishing I was dead and not understanding why.  I developed PTSD after 9/11 and as the depression became unmanageable I spiraled into near homelessness.

After discovering DA I came to know that I was not alone but that other people had gone through the same things I had or worse.  I found a group of people that understood what it is to be depressed and accepted my story without judgment or added stigma.  DA relieved me of the stigma of being damaged beyond repair that had plagued me my entire life.  Coming to DA made me realize I was not the only one carrying the burden of depression.  I was not chronically alone.  I was not isolated in the despair of depression.

Through DA and hearing other people’s shares I realized my experiences were a valid source of the disappointment, dismay and depression I had been feeling all my life.  I learned also that surviving those experiences could be a source of strength that testified to my perseverance over them.  This self-awareness has also given me new found hope that had been missing from my outlook on my life and future.   Hearing others’ experiences as well as working the steps has given me hope: the hope that, yes, I can manage depression and live a fuller life.  Most importantly learning the concept of saddening myself has done more to liberate me from sadness.  I know now that my mind and emotions have been conditioned to recreate my past sadness which was instilled in me by others and society.  Now I can recognize the manner in which I sadden myself and take the steps to stop it and reverse it.

January 2024, Luis, NYC

12 Step Meeting, Anger, Anxiety, Belief, Choice, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Grief, Higher Power, Journaling, Negativity, Purpose, The 12 Steps

When you’re depressed all you’re interested in is survival – Dorothy Rowe

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THE ORIGINS of MISTRUST

I want to share with you how Dr. Fitzgibbons, a psychiatrist, provides examples how our lack of trust can originate in early childhood. Patterns of isolating behavior and negative thinking, grow strong in a home environment where the child is not loved and nurtured.

Dr. Fitzgibbons, tells us “that the seedbed of mistrust resides in childhood. Many times this lack of trust, of others and ourselves and the world around us, may have begun with the loss of a parent, sister, brother, or a close friend. A serious illness in a parent, sibling or oneself can be the cause of depression. Many times mistrust comes about because of an alcoholic parent so that a child never knows if a drunken loved one is coming home, or in an angry drunken stupor. Anger and rejection by caregivers and/or peers can also have an effect on the ability to trust. Parental divorce or separation can have an effect on a child. Also a cold distant, and unloving parent can have a negative effect on a child. Add to this, a legacy of mistrust and fear in the family will negatively influence a child. Finally, poverty may also be a cause of mistrust”

Brenda, (not her real name ) shares with us some of her own story:

“I have often reflected on how a lack of trust in myself and in others, had a crippling effect on my early childhood development. It was only until I began examining my own childhood, later in life, that I discovered reasons for my mistrust of others. I accomplished these discoveries by getting in touch with those early negative feelings that constantly bombarded my everyday thinking. Most of these early feelings remained unconscious and hidden, until I started to examine my childhood relationships, especially with those significant others who were my caregivers.”

By utilizing the Depressed Anonymous Workbook with its’ 12 STEP COMMENTARY, and questions, directed toward one’s early life experiences, special attention was centered on those caregivers and significant others in one’s family, who, charged with caregiving, to provide the child with the love that a child deserves. For many children, who grew up in a home environment, filled with anger, parental arguing, and violence, made it impossible for a child to defend themselves against such abuse, including mental, sexual, and physical abuse. Some children create fantasy worlds, some with imaginary friends, with whom they can confide in and feel secure in a home environment where chaos reigns.

In our Depressed Anonymous fellowship, we can begin to open up to group members, giving us that opportunity to share and trust, others, who are like ourselves. We happily discovered that we are now no longer alone. Most of us come to our program of recovery, looking to find help, and that welcome relief from the daily crippling burden of depression, which has forced us to isolate from others, believing that we are not good enough.

Earlier, Dr, Fitzgibbons has listed some of the major causes of our childhood depression, and we can resonate with them within our hearts and minds. And in your moments of personal quiet and reflection, celebrate who you are and not who others say you are.

So get a notebook, and begin to write down your answers to those questions in the DA Workbook, which hold meaning for your own personal life and recovery, to which you can relate. Share your DA Workbook with your therapist, sponsor or friends in Depressed Anonymous at the ZOOM meetings online, and/or face to face meetings.

So now, not only will you be a survivor, you will no longer be a victim of those circumstances, which made you believe that you were worthless, unlovable and unacceptable. Progress, not perfection.

By completing my Fourth Step inventory, it became possible to uncover those areas of my early life which made trusting an impossibility. As mentioned earlier, and later into my early adult life, it was my own spiraling downward, into the darkness of depression, the only thing that I could think of was my survival. I was desperate to stop the descent into the darkness and physical pain. I knew that I must get active, preventing my paralyzing desire to take comfort in sleep and shut out the world.

My life is very different now. I continue to take inventory of my life on a daily basis and I finally believe in myself and the Higher Power that has helped me believe that I have a purpose and a meaning for my life. I also believe in a power that is greater than myself and who continually leads me, everyday, on this wonderful journey of hope! Progress and not perfection.

TRUST IS A FEELING OF BEING SAFE IN RELATIONSHIPS AND IN LIFE.

HUGH S., FOR THE FELLOWSHIP

12 Step Meeting, Acceptance, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Gratitude, Helpful, Hope, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Prayer, Serenity, The 12 Steps

Helen, gets it! “I have to take responsibility for my own life.”

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The following excerpt is from a letter that Helen wrote to the Depressed Anonymous fellowship about her recovery from depression.

Her story is just one of the many stories, relating their recovery from depression, found in the Personal Stories section of Depressed Anonymous Pages 110-152.

“Now that I look back and see the way I was and see now how I am now,
I can’t believe that I ever knew that other person. This person is different altogether. I like this person now very much. I am thankful to the group. They are just wonderful. They are my family. They are my Depressed Anonymous family. I also have my church family. It is a wonderful feeling to know that there is a Higher Power that can take you through these things. At first, I thought, “I doubt that very much” when everyone was talking about the Higher Power and peace in my life. Then it happened to me. Every few days, the world dumps down on you and beats you down. That’s my life. I always think to myself that there is that extra strength that I didn’t have before. I feel that everything is going to be OK with me. I have that peace now myself.”

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous (1998) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. pp 145-148.

12 Step Meeting, Affirmations, Choice, Community building, Courage, Depressed Anonymous, Faith, Focus, Prayer, Service, The 12 Steps, The Promises

Not everything faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced

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I have found this statement, by James Baldwin to be as true as day is long. I also know from my own experiences. When fear comes upon us like a dark cloud, we are tempted to run. When an obstacle prevents us from reaching a goal, we stop. But when we make that decision to face the problem, good things start to happen.

Today, I am going to choose to face the problem-whatever that might be. I am choosing to use the 12 Steps of Depressed Anonymous to make this happen.

Hugh S.

Avoidance, Belief, Denial, Depressed Anonymous, Fear, Isolation, Pain, People Pleasing, Stress, The 12 Steps

Depression and Security

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“Being depressed is a state of great security.Jackie said (client of D.Rowe) , ‘I get very quiet. I don’t want to know anyone. Very angry. I get very hurtful, not intentional hurt, but that’s the only way I can get through to people, so they don’t get any closer. If I hurt them, they’ll stay away and therefore I can be on my own in this depression, and hide behind the mask and just solely by hurting people, being quiet, feeling angry inside and putting the barrier up, that’s how I can keep people away, which I feel helps me in the state of depression.I need to feel safe within the blackness. A fear of being with people. Being really frightened of everything and anybody around you. It’s just so painful. You feel drained of everything. Hiding behind the mask is putting yourself away from the outside world. The world you were frightened of stepping into, but people still seeing you with that smile, the joking, the laughing, and that is where the mask comes on. Behind the mask, I am suffering hurt and pain, rejection, helplessness, but behind the mask and shutting myself within four walls, I feel secure, because none of the outside world can come in unless I let them hurt me.
Because depression gives a feeling of security, the depressed person can feel very much in control. (We are always capable of being two contrary things at once. Depression is always a state of complete helplessness and complete control,) A depressed person can take great pride in being in control.”

SOURCE: BEYOND FEAR. Dr. Dorothy Rowe, Fontana, London, 1987, pp. 307-308.

Published in The Antidepressant Tablet(c) Issue: Volume 4, Number 3 SPRING 1993. Louisville, Ky.

Choice, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Gratitude, Helpful Thinking, Mutual Aid, The 12 Steps, The Promises

The rear view mirror as a metaphor for our recovery path

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How many times does it happen that we make a review of our personal recovery progress within our Depressed Anonymous fellowship? In a sense, it is like looking backward in our rear view mirror, taking a closer look at our recovery path,an inventory,if you will, of our positive and negative areas of our life. All with the belief, that our willingness, honesty and openness to that power greater than ourselves to change for the better, we make the choices to change, and live with serenity.

My memories of that first time that I walked through the door of recovery, is still fresh in my mind. This was the beginning of the journey of hope for myself and for all of us. Now, many years later, or maybe just a few months later , it is in looking back, that we can see that our lives have been changing, for the better, Sometimes slowly and sometimes quickly. We now live in hope, one day at a time.

We can see the way it was, and the way it is now, the difference between night and day. We are living in the light of hope, and with work, prayer and a loving fellowship that continues to embrace and fortify us for the journey ahead, we are grateful.

A member of another fellowship share, how “it was hard or impossible to recognize or appreciate the slow going of his recovery to see his his progress, until long after they took place. Looking back, THROUGH HIS REAR VIEW MIRROR he celebrates all the important and astounding things that HAVE happened to him in recovery.”
Please continue to move forward and then take a look now and then and give thanks and be grateful for where you are standing today.

Hugh, for the fellowship

A paraphrased quote From the Grapevine Daily Quote.Fort Worth Texas, November 2006, Where’s the miracle?, Step by Step. Submitted by Robin R.

12 Step Meeting, Depressed Anonymous, Faith, Fellowship, Higher Power, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Serenity, Spirituality, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps

When more is revealed

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This blog was submitted by Janet M.

“There is a profound and intriguing statement that says ‘that more will be revealed.’ I believe we each have a personal experience with this call of the wild dynamic, so to speak. I felt as if I were being invited into an investigation, and its results would effortlessly appear, without any help from my mind or outside activities. In other words, beyond a body, mind and physical reality.

With no control on my part, the Higher Power would be the master of this destiny. How exciting! I just had to believe. With addiction, my poor mind was so limited with its awareness.

The same sad movie kept playing. Depressed Anonymous provided some helpful tools, with the Law of Three, Sunspots, to make an ending and an opening. A portal for peace was the liberation that I needed. I thought that I longed for peace of mind, but what was revealed was this peace didn’t belong to mind, but to me as my true nature.

With falsely identifying myself as my felt past experiences, with feeling a victim/failure/etc, or the pain body, or as Eckhart Tolle labels it, I was at a dead end. As Rupert Spira points out, you can’t see the screen if you are staring at the the movie.”

Affectionately
Janet M., a member of the Depressed Anonymous 12 Step fellowship