Category Archives: Positivity

12 Step Meeting, Depressed Anonymous, Faith, Fellowship, Higher Power, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Serenity, Spirituality, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps

When more is revealed

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This blog was submitted by Janet M.

“There is a profound and intriguing statement that says ‘that more will be revealed.’ I believe we each have a personal experience with this call of the wild dynamic, so to speak. I felt as if I were being invited into an investigation, and its results would effortlessly appear, without any help from my mind or outside activities. In other words, beyond a body, mind and physical reality.

With no control on my part, the Higher Power would be the master of this destiny. How exciting! I just had to believe. With addiction, my poor mind was so limited with its awareness.

The same sad movie kept playing. Depressed Anonymous provided some helpful tools, with the Law of Three, Sunspots, to make an ending and an opening. A portal for peace was the liberation that I needed. I thought that I longed for peace of mind, but what was revealed was this peace didn’t belong to mind, but to me as my true nature.

With falsely identifying myself as my felt past experiences, with feeling a victim/failure/etc, or the pain body, or as Eckhart Tolle labels it, I was at a dead end. As Rupert Spira points out, you can’t see the screen if you are staring at the the movie.”

Affectionately
Janet M., a member of the Depressed Anonymous 12 Step fellowship

Choice, Community building, Courage, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Fellowship, Focus, Helpful, Hope, Isolation, Mutual Aid, Negativity, People Pleasing, Positivity, Purpose, Service, The 12 Steps

Wellness Steps: A personal fitness plan that builds self-esteem

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BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM
1. Appraise yourself: Identify strengths and problem areas.
– Check out the Depressed Anonymous Workbook for a 12 Step self-study of one’s strengths and problem areas.
2. Try changing in small ways. Keeping it simple and manageable.
3. Emphasize your positive skills, talents and strengths. A sponsor will be most helpful in leading you to discover your hidden strengths. When we are depressed and in lockdown, it is hard to see the light. In the beginning, you will let the Da fellowship group serve as the key to unlock your potential.
4. Take what others say at face value- Free yourself from the burden of figuring out others motives.
5. Choose role models you respect. It’s possible that your presence at a DA meeting will discover others who are making the 12 Steps recovery program work for them, finding serenity an hope.
6. Stop activities you don’t like or have an aptitude for. Examples: People pleasing, isolating oneself from friends and family, catastrophic thinking, having negative thoughts about self, not trusting others.
7. Accepting yourself without judgment. Use the “SUNSPOTS” or the “Rule of Threes” to discipline oneself to use what works for you and leave the negatives behind. (See Pages 47-48 in DEPRESSED ANONYMOUS. 3rd EDITION. Depressed Anonymous Publications. 2011.)

Please read the story of Margie, a charter member of Depressed Anonymous, as she shares her story. Personal Stories section.#31. Page 131. Depressed Anonymous.
8. Talk to your friends. This is an avenue that leads you to finding who you are. The DA fellowship, which meets every day.(Check out Website for meeting information). Here in this group, your friends will share how their Journey of Hope gave them a most valuable gift–namely, a choice to work their way out of depression or to continue to live a life of misery and hopelessness.
9. Choose one particular task and do it. Just one task. One small baby step. Keep it simple. Stay in the now–one day at a time. Walk and get out into nature. Walk around the block. Use the TOOLS of Recovery. (See Homepage at depressedanon.com and click onto TOOLS of Recovery menu. You will find an array of ways to begin your own life journey, with a commitment for your own personal wellness and fitness.)
10. Take charge of your life and set goals. Make decisions. Take some risks. Reach out to others for help!

Depression thrives and grows strong in isolation where the depressed individual can spend time ruminating over past defects and self-alleged wrongdoing. The very worthlessness can grow in this darkened environment. But if the solitary confinement is to end, the depressed person has the right and the responsibility to examine the various ways to fight back the isolation, immersing oneself in a supportive and healing environment. If there is no environment where they feel safe and secure, one will have to buildup their courage and get one. You cannot think yourself out of depression. You hold the key that will unlock your prison of depression. We recommend that you start using it now.

Hugh S.

(C) Copyright. Shining a light on the dark night of the soul.: A personal experience for healing the darkness of depression. (1999) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.
(c) Depressed Anonymous (2011) 3rd Edition. Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY. Pages 47-48.
(c) The Depressed Antonymous Workbook.(2002) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY.

Please visit the DA literature store for more information.

Affirmations, DA Literature, Gratitude, Helpful, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Stress, The 12 Steps

I will learn how to receive a gift generously

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DECISION 10: Receiving a gift.
“IF you determine that the gift does come with the unstated message of obligation you then have three choices;
1. You can accept the gift as you always have, and not feel guilt, anger and obligation.
2. You can state the unstated message to the giver and say that you cannot accept such a gift. To do this you must completely abandoned your belief that you must never upset anyone ever and have developed some competence in dealing with upset people.
3. You can accept the gift as if it is a free gift, ignore the obligation, feel happy and enjoy the gift. To do this you must have given up being an expert in being good and have developed a competence in doing things which are not wholly admirable but are immensely enjoyable.

If you determine that the gift does come as a free gift, given out of love and concern, then yugo must receive it with the same generosity with which it was given. Let yourself feel joy, not guilt. Don’t say “Oh, you shouldn’t have.’ Say ‘It’s wonderful. I love it, and give the giver a hug and a kiss. All we want when we give a fee gift is to see the other person’s happiness.
Sometimes what gets in the way when we want to enjoy a gift is our envy.”

Dorothy Rowe, Breaking the Bonds. Understanding Depression, Finding freedom. Fontana. London. 1991. Pages 209-210.
Dorothy Rowe is The author of BREAKING THE BONDS of the Twelve Decisions, contained in the chapter, LEAVING LONELINESS BEHIND, Pages 238-279.

Anger, Anxiety, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Honesty, Hope, Positivity, Supportive Actions

How do I deal with anger in my life?

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DECISION 8: I WILL BE MORE ACCEPTING OF ANOTHER’S ANGER AND NOT ALWAYS TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

When you are both the focus and the cause of the person’s anger, you will need to find responses other than cutting yourself off from the person, by doing that, sharply reinforces your barrier of loneliness.

D.Rowe tells us that we find the cause of the anger and discuss the matter. For whatever reason for the anger, it might be best to write a letter the person. Or, Possibly, a friendly visit between the two of you will help solve the problem.

Making an apology when we see ourselves trapped, weak, worthless and hopeless, by making an apology to the person who caused the anger, seems frightening and humiliating.

Making amends, an apology to those we have injured us, seems gracious and creative, allowing a relationship to be strengthened and resumed.

In some families, there was no teasing, absolutely not. Maybe outside the family it might be allowed. Everything in the family was 100% serious. If a family member was teased, then this could result in a sulk and long term silence.

But in school, children might be teased, but never knowing how to tease back. We want to distinguish between friendly and malicious teasing. We could put bullying at the top of the list as one of the most harmful ways of malicious teasing. When I make an effort to get along with other people, distinguishing between friendly or imaginary teasing, this makes our relationship stronger, the other builds barriers.

TOMORROW DECISION 9: I WILL IMPROVE MY SKILL IN DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN REAL AND IMAGINARY ENEMIES.

12 Step Meeting, Community building, Helpful Thinking, Hope, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Purpose

Depressed Anonymous Conference on Hope

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Date: Saturday 4 March 2023
Time: 11:00am – 4:00pm Eastern time
Zoom Meeting ID: 851 593 3239
Passcode: hope
Direct  link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/8515933239

The theme for the conference is hope.

There will be 5 time slots. Four of the time slots will be speakers sharing their story of recovery and weaving in the topic of hope. One of the time slots will be a brief meditation session and a brief yoga session.

All sessions will be recorded and shortly after the conference an audio only version will be available on the Depressed Anonymous website.

We hope to see you there.

If you would like to download a file containing the pertinent conference information please click: DAHopeConference.ics and then open the file on your phone or computer to add it to your calendar.

If you happen to use Google Calendar you can add the conference directly to your calendar by clicking:

Here is a link to a flyer if you want to distribute to others: DA Hope Conference

Do you want to hear what happened at the first Depressed Anonymous conference? Recordings can be found here: Depressed Anonymous Conference Recordings

Belief, Choice, Courage, DA Literature, Depressed Anonymous Workbook, Focus, Higher Power, Hope, Positivity, Purpose, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03, Step 04

Detour – Taking a different way home

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Step Four

“MADE A SEARCHING AND FEARLESS MORAL INVENTORY OF OURSELVES.”

“Let’s Just say that you always took path A home from work everyday. You passed the same old signs, the same old buildings, the same old malls–you feel you could almost drive home with your eyes closed. This is of course boring, and also deadening to our thinking processes as we do everything out of habit. The saying is true that we are creatures of habit. But let’s just say, for example, that a detour sign pops up along our old familiar path -we become disoriented – we become confused. We say to ourselves-Where am I? Now where do I go? Good questions.” The inventory will ask questions of you which you may never have asked of yourself.

“But we have figured out that even though my path home is very predicable, it is still a path that is gradually incapacitating my ability to keep a focus on hopeful outcomes.” We need to be awakened out of our routine. The daily grind is putting our mind to sleep.

Let’s take an example taken from the Depressed Anonymous Workbook, which presents us with a metaphor, on how an inventory will become a critical part of our personal recovery. The 4th and 5th Steps in the Depressed Anonymous Workbook, includes questions dealing with our lives, while detailing areas which have been influenced by our everyday feelings of sadness, hopelessness and despair.The inventory questions, prepared in the 4th and 4th Step chapters of the Workbook, (all 12 chapters are in a question and answer format) will provide for us some surprising pieces of positive information about ourselves that will be recovered from examining some of our past life issues. (Don’t forget to share all the good things that you like about yourself.)

We have mentioned how working the 4th Step Recovery Program is like coming home a different route. We will take the detour (inventory) which will help us get back on the right path. That is why, our inventory work, puts us on a different path for living. We are fitted with a new hope. We will quickly learn how doing or not doing what we always used to do, is NOT working.

By using the Depressed Anonymous Workbook, with its 12 Step questions, accompanied with our personal answers, can provide us, with a gradual process of self-understanding, self-awareness, and emotional healing. These positive thoughts and feelings about ourselves, continue to manifest as a direct result from our personal answers to Workbook questions and our hard work on ourselves. We find that we are able to live with hope the more we commit ourselves to our recovery work. Our mind continues to put a “spotlight” on these negative concerns which keep us from a life lived with hope and peace. In time, the fog in our brain will gradually be lifted. We will begin to see ourselves and future in a positive light.

Path B, points us in a different direction from where we were used to going. And for many of us, this is the first time that we are intent upon taking a good and hard look at who we are. Taking an inventory, looking at the negatives as well as all the strengths that are ours, helps us to give a gratitude for all the good areas of our life that are beginning to awaken in us and continue to take root. These awakenings are the new and fresh beliefs about ourselves and our inner world that is gradually being created.

In the 4th Step of recovery, we are ready to “make a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.” The inventory method will help us, as we take take a little time each day, reflecting on how we think about ourselves, while discovering reasons why our “mistaken beliefs” about ourselves, has gotten us to the place where we are today. This motivates us to get into action. We make a decision to change the way we live out our daily lives. We want to be fearless in uncovering any and all rocks, that have blocked our path in the past. We will begin to take action and we will possess a new courage, taking care of business.

We must look the beast in the face. I pray that the “God of your understanding” will lead you to where the light of love shines bright and where the darkness is swallowed by hope and love of self.

Hugh S., for the fellowship

For more information on the Workbook, and other literature which can be helpful, please check out the Webpage (Depressedanon.com) at the DA Literature Store

Copyright(c) Depressed Annoynous Workbook Depressed Anonymous Publications. (2002) Louisvllle, KY. Pages 22-24.

Choice, Helpful, Honesty, Kindness, Positivity, Purpose

THINK before you speak

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Many of us with depression find it easy to go the way of negativity. Our default behavior and way of speech tends to rub people the wrong way. The answer is to live your life on purpose. THINK before you speak. Ask yourself these five questions before you speak:

  1. Is it True?
  2. Is is Helpful?
  3. Is it Inspirational?
  4. Is it Necessary?
  5. Is it Kind?

If the answer is No to any of the questions you must remain quiet. You are beginning the journey of putting some control over your behavior. Your speech will begin to diminish in negativity.

Just because something is True does not give you permission to share your opinions. It may be true that most people have poor spelling and grammar but it is not necessary to correct other people. If you, as my friend, ask for feedback on your cover letter and resume it is now necessary for me to respond. But my response needs to be helpful, inspirational and kind.

Once you begin to practice this for a while and you become better at controlling your tongue you will have a personal epiphany – a recovery V-8 moment of Holy Crow I need to apply these questions to my thoughts.

Don’t worry and fret over your negativity. Begin to be aware of how negative you truly are. Begin the process of controlling your speech. Then you will have some control over your thoughts.

Thoughts create feelings. Negative thinking creates negative feelings. The difficulty is that if you try to tackle the negative thoughts immediately you may not be successful. Control your behaviors first. Get some level of control over your behaviors. These successes will give you the strength to fight the real fight of combating your negative thoughts.

Good luck.

Yours in recovery, Bill R

12 Step Meeting, Addiction, Community building, Depressed Anonymous, Fellowship, Honesty, Hope, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Purpose, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03, Step 11, Step 12, Stress, The 12 Steps

In helping others I helped myself. Gloria’s story, continued.

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The following story continues from page 140 of Gloria’s story In helping others,I helped myself

“There are four of us who were there together first on June 6th 1985. We had become very good friends. I still remember the things from the very first meeting that the counselor told us. I’ve seen people come and go. Some helped from the very first meeting. Some wanting a wand waved. It has helped me over the rough spots., and gave me courage and to go on as a widow, I have found a peace in life, a special joy in knowing and loving people. In helping others, I have helped myself. I know my background in life has made me degreased at times. My mother was abusive and I realized later in life that it was an emotional illness. I forgave her.

I will continue to attend Depressed Anonymous. Every meeting is different and who knows what mystery each group holds? One never knows who needs me, who needs a smile or hug, who needs to feel that they are not alone, or who needs to know that there is a God that loves all.”

Copyright(c) Depressed Anonymous. THIRD EDITION (2011) Depressed Anonymous Publications. Louisville, KY 140-141.

12 Step Meeting, Community building, Dep-Anon: Family and friends, Depressed Anonymous, Faith, Fellowship, Helpful, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Service, Step 12, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps, The Promises

Dep-Anon, a 12 Step, online ZOOM meeting, for family and friends of the depressed is now available.

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A new book, DEP-ANON: A 12 step recovery program for families and Friends of the depressed (2021) is now available. This new book also serves as a manual, used at all meetings, providing family members and friends of the depressed, important information related to the crippling and isolating nature of the depression experience. It also provides family with practical ways for coming together as a strong support group, much like the 12 Step Al-Anon groups, enabling family members to start focusing on them selves –on their own recovery — and not on their depressed significant other. We need to change ourselves first. Trying to change someone else is usually futile.
Dep-Anon will have a positive symbiotic relationship with the depressed family member’s own recovery program, Depressed Anonymous. Not only will the family group become more alert to their own needs and issues, but will be helped spiritually, physically and emotionally as they work together, using the 12 steps. These twelve spiritual principles, mutually strengthen each other as they share their own their own experiences, hope and strengths.

ZOOM MEETING INFORMATION
Note : Please contact us with the zoom Meeting ID:846 6885 1123
password: serenity

>>>>>>>> MONDAY August 22 2PM EST <<<<<<<<<<<

12 Step Meeting, Choice, Community building, Helpful Thinking, Hope, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Purpose, Service, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps, The Promises

There is a time for holding on and a time for letting go.

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There are times when we are barely holding on and times when we have to let go.
The United States is in the beginning of weather changes that have never before been seen by most of us in this country. There are the wildfires that are burning out of control in the Western regions of the country, and flooding that most people have never experienced in their lifetimes. Just recently, in my on State of Kentucky, thirty-eight people lost their lives in an early morning flooding which affected sixteen counties in Eastern Kentucky. The extent and magnitude of this flooding was so huge that older Kentuckians had never witnessed such devastation. Previous to that, Kentucky was blasted by a Tornado 12 miles wide and 200 miles in length. It sped through Kentucky 150 miles an hour. Whole communities were wiped out. Again, another example of the powerful changes in our weather.
Sea levels rising, as ice caps continue melting in both poles. The whole planet and its’ people ( including you and me) are holding on for things to come. Some of us, more than we know, are holding on to their lives. So many losses, so much of what we have valued are gone. With all of that we are still going through the pandemic. We are holding on.
We are finding that the grief and destruction that is ours, as family, community, nation, is beginning to turn our world upide dwon as we know it.
In a positive way, some of us are holding on to what has given us hope with a sense of security. By this I mean, that when we become afraid, depressd and isolated we can still spiral out of the bad mood over all our losses and enter into a new mood of hope and serenity. And how does this happen? For those of us who are depressed, we discovered a program of recovery that works.This is a 12 Step program of rcovery called Depressed Anonymous. It is a program where persons with the same faith and practice of the Steps, come together in a fellowship and mutually support each other, in ours times of loss. We hold onto the promises of DA,where we learn what happens to those of us when we place our trust in a God of our understanding. We not only begin to hold onto the belief that we will get better, we also begin to discover and root out those personality defects which keep us imprisoned and isolated. We felt there is no help in sight. Not true. Members of our recovering fellowship show us how by putting into effect the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps how our lives begin to change for the better.
It is in the “letting go” of the areas of our lives that made life feel hopeless and ourselves worthless. We soon found that the negative ways that we talked to ourselves were counterproductive. Once we began to affirm the good in ourselves, we were able to find ways that gave us new hope.

We came to believe that there was a God of love on our side, who manifested its power, daily working out in our mind and body, the belief that we too are able to find peace and help as we continue to live with meaning and purpose for our life.
Hold onto the belief that the God of your understanding will bring you peace and a new way of living. This new way of living will give you resources, plus a beloved community, supporting each of you on your journey of hope.

Please go to our website at Depressedanon.com and find out more of who we are and what we believe. You will be happy that you did.

With a gratitude,

Hugh S.