Category Archives: Suffering

Acceptance, Act As If, All Or Nothing Thinking, Avoidance, Choice, Courage, Despair, Forgiveness, Helpful, Helpful Thinking, Hope, Indecision, Mindfulness, Necessity, Pain, Positivity, Purpose, Stress, Suffering, Uncategorized

The Dopamine Trap: Why Depression Makes Even Fun Things Feel Like a Chore

Leave a comment

The Strange Effect of Depression on Enjoyment

Imagine this: You finally have some free time. You sit down to play a game, read a book, or pick up an old hobby—but something feels wrong. The excitement you once felt is gone. The activity that used to bring you joy now feels exhausting, almost like a chore. Instead of looking forward to it, you procrastinate, feeling guilty that you “should” be enjoying it.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. One of the most frustrating aspects of depression is that it robs you of motivation and pleasure, even for things you used to love. This phenomenon isn’t just about mood; it’s rooted in neuroscience, particularly in how dopamine, the brain’s motivation and reward chemical, functions.

This article explores why depression makes fun things feel like work, how dopamine plays a role, and what you can do to break the cycle—with the help of evidence-based strategies from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), and neuroscience-backed techniques.

Why Hobbies Stop Feeling Rewarding: The Role of Dopamine Dysregulation

To understand why hobbies stop feeling enjoyable, we first need to look at how dopamine works and what happens when it becomes dysregulated.

Dopamine: More Than Just a “Feel-Good” Chemical

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that regulates motivation, anticipation, and effort—not just pleasure itself. It helps your brain determine what is worth doing and provides the drive to pursue rewarding activities.

  • In a healthy brain, dopamine is released in response to an anticipated reward, reinforcing behaviors that lead to pleasure or fulfillment.
  • In depression, however, this system doesn’t function properly. Rewards don’t trigger the expected dopamine response, making even enjoyable activities feel unrewarding or exhausting.

How Dopamine Function Becomes Disrupted

Dopamine dysregulation in depression happens due to a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors:

  1. Chronic Stress and Cortisol Overload
    • When the brain is under prolonged stress, cortisol (the stress hormone) increases.
    • Excessive cortisol interferes with dopamine production and signaling, making it harder for the brain to recognize rewards.
    • Studies have shown that high cortisol levels blunt dopamine transmission, contributing to anhedonia (Pizzagalli, 2014).
  2. Reduced Dopamine Receptor Sensitivity
    • Over time, if dopamine is not used efficiently, the brain reduces the sensitivity of dopamine receptors.
    • This means that even when you engage in an activity that should be rewarding, the brain fails to process the pleasure properly.
  3. Lack of Novelty and Dopamine Burnout
    • The dopamine system thrives on variety and challenge. When life becomes repetitive or monotonous, dopamine activity naturally declines.
    • If a person is stuck in the same routine with little variation, they stop associating hobbies with excitement, making them feel more like obligations.
  4. Inflammation and Neural Fatigue
    • Research suggests that inflammation in the brain can lower dopamine levels and contribute to depression-related fatigue (Felger & Lotrich, 2013).
    • This can make even small tasks feel overwhelming, as the brain doesn’t generate enough energy to initiate effort.
  5. Avoidance Behavior and Dopamine Deprivation
    • Depression often causes avoidance behaviors—people stop doing things because they expect them to be exhausting or unfulfilling.
    • But avoidance itself deprives the brain of dopamine, reinforcing the cycle of low motivation and anhedonia.

In short, dopamine dysfunction in depression isn’t just a lack of pleasure—it’s a system-wide failure of motivation, anticipation, and effort regulation.

The Difference Between Wanting vs. Enjoying an Activity

One of the biggest mental traps in depression is the belief that not wanting to do something means you don’t actually enjoy it. This false belief can lead to unnecessary self-doubt and reinforce avoidance behaviors.

“I Don’t Want To” vs. “I Don’t Enjoy It”

  • Depression makes it hard to start activities, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the activity itself has lost all meaning or value.
  • Some people still enjoy things once they start, but the initial activation energy required to begin feels too high.
  • Others experience “numb pleasure”—going through the motions of an activity but feeling disconnected from it.

Why This Belief Develops in Depression

This mental distortion happens because depression disrupts the way the brain anticipates rewards. Instead of expecting something to feel good, the brain expects it to be effortful or empty, making motivation harder to access.

🔹 Key study: Research shows that depressed individuals tend to underestimate future enjoyment, even when they later report having liked the activity once they started (Dunn et al., 2011).

CBT Insight: The “Emotional Reasoning” Trap

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) identifies this thinking pattern as “emotional reasoning”—the belief that because you don’t feel like doing something, it must not be worth doing (Beck, 1979).

The truth? Motivation often follows action, not the other way around.

CBT practitioners emphasize that small actions can create momentum, even if motivation is low at first. This is why behavioral activation—starting with small, manageable activities—is a core part of depression treatment (Dimidjian et al., 2006).

How to Reignite Interest in Hobbies (Without Forcing Fun)

The key to rebuilding motivation isn’t about waiting for inspiration to strike—it’s about using small, intentional actions to reignite engagement.

1. The 5-Minute Rule: Trick Your Brain Into Starting (CBT – Behavioral Activation)

One of the biggest hurdles in depression is getting started. The 5-Minute Rule helps bypass this resistance:

👉 Tell yourself, “I’ll do this for just five minutes.”

Why it works:

  • It removes pressure—five minutes feels manageable.
  • Once you start, you often keep going.
  • Even if you stop after five minutes, you’ve still disrupted avoidance behavior (a key CBT principle).

🔹 Example Behavioral Activation Activities Using the 5-Minute Rule:
✔ Draw a single line on paper. If you feel like continuing, do so. If not, you still did something.
✔ Put on workout clothes. You don’t have to exercise—just wear them for five minutes.
✔ Read one paragraph. If you want to stop, stop—but more often than not, you’ll keep reading.

2. Micro-Rewards: Hacking Dopamine with Small Wins

When depression reduces the brain’s ability to anticipate pleasure, introducing small, tangible rewards can help rebuild dopamine associations.

💡 Ways to introduce micro-rewards:
✔ Checklists (crossing things off provides a dopamine boost).
✔ Listening to music while engaging in activities.
✔ Gamifying tasks (using apps like Habitica to turn chores into a game).

3. Curiosity Over Fun: Lowering the Expectation (DBT – Radical Acceptance)

If nothing feels fun, shift your focus from “enjoyment” to curiosity.

👉 Instead of asking, “Do I feel like doing this?”, try: “What if I just explore it?”

📌 Low-pressure ideas:

  • Watch a random documentary.
  • Learn a single new fact.
  • Doodle without the pressure of creating something “good.”

🔹 DBT encourages radical acceptance—the idea that you don’t have to like your current situation to engage with it. This can help reduce the pressure of trying to “force” enjoyment (Linehan, 1993).

4. Change the Medium: A New Way to Engage

Maybe the format is the problem, not the hobby itself.

✅ Try a different version:

  • Books feel overwhelming? Try audiobooks.
  • Gaming feels empty? Try multiplayer or cooperative games.
  • Used to write? Try voice memos instead of full drafts.

5. Body Before Mind: Use Physical Priming (CBT + DBT – Opposite Action)

  • Physical movement increases dopamine and energy.
  • Even small actions (stretching, walking, cold exposure) can help jumpstart motivation.

🔹 Research shows that light exposure, movement, and cold stimulation can increase dopamine levels, potentially improving mood regulation (Caldwell & Wetherell, 2020).

Conclusion: Redefining “Enjoyment” During Depression

Depression makes motivation difficult, but not impossible. The feeling that hobbies are meaningless or exhausting is not a permanent state—it’s a reflection of how depression affects the brain’s ability to anticipate and experience rewards. This means that even if an activity doesn’t feel enjoyable right now, that doesn’t mean it’s lost its value forever.

The most important thing to remember is that you don’t have to wait to feel motivated before you take action. In fact, waiting for motivation often reinforces the cycle of avoidance. Taking small, intentional steps—without pressure—helps signal to the brain that engagement is still possible.

How to Approach Recovery: Small, Intentional Shifts

  • Start small. Even the smallest action—reading a sentence, pressing play on a song, stepping outside for one minute—can help break the cycle of avoidance and retrain the brain to associate activities with engagement rather than exhaustion.
  • Focus on curiosity over pressure. Instead of trying to “force” enjoyment, allow yourself to explore, experiment, and experience things without expectation. Sometimes, curiosity itself is enough to create momentum.
  • Remember that action precedes motivation. Depression tells you that you should wait to “feel” like doing something before acting. But in reality, taking action—even in small ways—creates the conditions for motivation to follow.

Progress Is Not Linear—And That’s Okay

Rebuilding motivation is not about pushing yourself to feel joy immediately. It’s about creating opportunities for engagement—even if that engagement feels different from before. Some days, you might find enjoyment, while other days, everything may still feel numb. Both experiences are part of recovery.

If an activity feels unbearable, try a smaller version of it. If it still doesn’t feel rewarding, that’s okay too. The goal is not perfection—the goal is persistence.

The Science of Hope: Dopamine Pathways Can Recover

One of the most encouraging findings in neuroscience is that dopamine pathways can regenerate. Research suggests that with time, engagement, and small behavioral changes, the brain can restore its ability to anticipate and experience pleasure (Heller et al., 2009). This means that the feeling of enjoyment can return—even if it feels out of reach right now.

Final Takeaway

Depression may make hobbies feel meaningless, but that doesn’t mean they are. You are not broken, and your capacity for joy is not lost—it is just temporarily inaccessible. By taking small steps, embracing curiosity, and shifting focus from pressure to exploration, you can gradually rebuild your connection to the things that once brought you happiness.

Until then, remember: even small steps forward are still steps forward.

Acceptance, Anxiety, Avoidance, Choice, Courage, Despair, Helpful, Isolation, Mindfulness, Negativity, Positivity, Stress, Suffering

DBT Grounding Techniques – Part 5 Putting It Into Use

Leave a comment

Part 5: Putting It All Together – Creating Your Grounding Ritual

You’ve now explored Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness—each offering powerful tools to help you stay grounded in difficult moments. But real-life challenges don’t always fit neatly into one category. That’s why the final step is about combining these techniques into a structured grounding ritual that you can turn to whenever you need stability.

When emotions overwhelm you, drawing from all four DBT modules can create a powerful and structured grounding ritual. Combining these practices helps you address the physical, emotional, and relational aspects of distress, guiding you toward calmness and control.

By integrating skills from all four DBT modules, you can create a personalized approach to managing distress, regulating emotions, and staying present—even in the toughest moments. Let’s explore how to bring it all together.

Step 1: Pause and Breathe Deeply (Mindfulness)

Start by grounding yourself in the present moment. Mindfulness creates the mental space needed to approach the situation with clarity.

How to Practice:

  • Take a deep breath, inhaling for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 6.
  • Visualize your breath as a wave, washing tension out of your body.
  • If your thoughts wander, gently guide them back to your breath without judgment.

Why It Works:
This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, calming your body and quieting your mind so you can think more clearly.

Step 2: Splash Cold Water on Your Face (Distress Tolerance)

Engage your body to interrupt the cycle of emotional overwhelm. TIPP skills are especially useful for regaining control in the moment.

How to Practice:

  • Use cold water, hold an ice cube, or place a cold compress on your forehead or cheeks.
  • Pair this with paced breathing to further calm your system.

Why It Works:
The temperature change triggers your dive reflex, reducing heart rate and calming the body. This brings you back to the present.

Step 3: Challenge the Thought Causing Overwhelmedness (Emotion Regulation)

Once your body feels calmer, examine the thoughts driving your emotional reaction.

How to Practice:

  • Ask yourself: “What triggered this feeling? Is it based on facts or assumptions?”
  • Use the “Check the Facts” technique to reframe exaggerated or unhelpful thoughts.
  • Example: Replace “I can’t handle this” with “I’m feeling overwhelmed, but I can take it one step at a time.”

Why It Works:
Shifting your perspective helps you address emotions logically, reducing their intensity and making them easier to manage.

Step 4: Communicate Using DEAR MAN (Interpersonal Effectiveness)

If another person is involved in the situation, use DEAR MAN to express yourself effectively and maintain the relationship.

How to Practice:

  • Describe the situation: “When you didn’t respond to my message…”
  • Express your feelings: “…I felt hurt and unsure if you were upset with me.”
  • Assert what you need: “I’d appreciate a quick reply, even if it’s just to say you’ll respond later.”
  • Reinforce the benefit: “This way, I’ll know everything’s okay between us.”

Why It Works:
Clear, calm communication reduces misunderstandings and fosters connection, even in emotionally charged moments.

Creating a Flow for Your Grounding Ritual

  1. Pause and Focus (Mindfulness):
    Take 1-2 minutes to ground yourself through breathing or observing your surroundings with the Five-Senses exercise.
  2. Shift Your Physical State (Distress Tolerance):
    Use a temperature-based TIPP skill or self-soothing technique to calm your body. Radical Acceptance of the situation may assist now or at the next stage in this flow.
  3. Examine and Adjust Your Thoughts (Emotion Regulation):
    Check the facts or use opposite action to address unhelpful emotional patterns.
  4. Engage With Others Mindfully (Interpersonal Effectiveness):
    If the situation involves another person, use DEAR MAN or FAST to maintain your boundaries and self-respect while fostering understanding.

Example in Practice:

Scenario: You’re feeling overwhelmed after receiving criticism from a colleague.

  1. Mindfulness: Step outside for a moment, take a deep breath, and focus on the sensation of the air against your skin.
  2. Distress Tolerance: Hold a cold water bottle against your wrists to calm your body.
  3. Emotion Regulation: Ask yourself, “Was their criticism factual, or am I interpreting it as a personal attack?” Reframe the thought: “This feedback is an opportunity to grow, not a judgment of my worth.”
  4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: Use DEAR MAN to address the issue with your colleague:
    • Describe: “When you shared your feedback earlier…”
    • Express: “…I felt caught off guard and a bit overwhelmed.”
    • Assert: “I’d like to understand more so I can improve.”
    • Reinforce: “This will help me meet expectations better in the future.”

Why This Works

By integrating techniques from all four DBT modules, you address the emotional, physical, and relational aspects of distress. This holistic approach helps you regain control, navigate challenges effectively, and build resilience over time.

12 Step Meeting, Forgiveness, Helpful, Isolation, Suffering, The 12 Steps

Humility is not a constant harping on our faults

Leave a comment

“Humility is not a constant harping on your faults and errors and general worthlessness. When you find yourself doing this (like being unable to say anything good about yourself or constantly apologizing or feeling quite unable to do anything even moderately well) remember what Archbishop Fenelon wrote to one of his parishioners,

It is mere self-love to be inconsolable at seeing one’s own imperfections, but to stand face to face with them, neither flattering nor tolerating them, seeking to correct oneself without becoming pettish – this is to desire what is good for its own sake and for God’s.

Humility, self-acceptance and forgiveness are all aspects of the one process where we come to see ourselves as we are and other people as they are. Since we no longer have the pride and arrogance to try to control ourselves and our world so as to make ourselves and our world into something which they are not, we can now be spontaneous. Since we no longer have to hide ourselves from other people, to put a barrier between ourselves and our world, and so feel ourselves to be alive. Since all desire leads to suffering, ceasing to desire perfection reduces our desires and so our suffering. We then know along with Lao Tsu Tau, that,

It is more important
To see the simplicity,
To realize one’s true nature,
And temper desire.

Learning to accept oneself and others, to be courageous, loving, humble and forgiving, and to face death with equanimity, is no small task. But this is what you must undertake if you are to find your way out of the prison of depression.”

Copyright(c) Dorothy Rowe. Depression: The way out of your prison. Second Edition. Routledge and Kegan Paul. New York, 1986. P.230.

For the fellowship,
Hugh S.

Acceptance, Affirmations, Belief, Believing Is Seeing, Courage, Ego Deflation, Fellowship, Helpful, Hope, Kindness, Love, Meditation, Pain, Prayer, Purpose, Serenity, Service, Step 01, Step 02, Step 03, Step 11, Suffering, The Promises

“…letting go of all illusion…”

Leave a comment

I am writing this prayer I wrote some five years back now for deeper peace and acceptance, during this challenging time I’m experiencing. Sharing this Hope in case I too can 0ffer Strength for others.
Affectionately, Janet M.

Thank you dear Creator of love and joy in action for the fellowship of your presence. Move me, I pray, for the Stillness of this Love. Why I abide there always gathering in your Strength, Peace and Wellbeing as kindling to feel the fire of your Spirit within. As I walk this path today, should I become disturbed return my heart to you. Purify my motives and direct my attention back into Awareness and Unity with your Spirit, which is the hand of Peace. Help me to offer kindness for the many Seeds of Blessings which feed my growing into Trueness of Being. Help me to understand your Passion in laughter, tears, joy and pain, knowing all of your Provision and how Precious that gift is that lies within the Earth of us all. Thank you for my children, family and friends. Bless ua your light, nurturing our hearts and strengthen our vision and relationships. May a seeming separateness burn up into the flames of letting go of all illusions while Liberating the Soul and setting Freedoms flight to soar and all resistance fall away. Gather us together, this day in Body, Mind and Spirit manifesting your Love. Amen.

12 Step Meeting, Anxiety, Despair, Fear, Fellowship, Grief, Pain, Powerlessness, Stress, Suffering, Supportive Actions, The 12 Steps

Proneness to depression

Leave a comment

“It must be repeated again that I consider, injustice, discrimination, material deprivation and painful disappointments as such and as causes of depression and depression-pro ness. What causes depression is the discrepancy between what children–and adults have learned to believe and expect, and the reality they meet. This discrepancy, when uncomprehended, causes chronic lack of self-esteem, or the loss of self-esteem that, writes Birling, has been associated with severe depression. Men and women can bear a remarkable amount of misfortune and grief, as long as they need not see them as a result and proof of their own inferiority.”

Excerpt from Emmy Gut, Productive and Unproductive Depression. Harper, SanFransisco. 1990. p.195. as quoted in THE ANTIDEPRESSANT TABLET (1991) SUMMER VOLUME 2:4. p.3

Acceptance, Addiction, Affirmations, Attachment, Belief, Choice, Community building, Courage, Denial, Fear, Fellowship, Focus, Helpful, Helpful Thinking, Honesty, Hope, Isolation, Meditation, Mindfulness, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Prayer, Purpose, Spirituality, Step 07, Suffering, Victim Thinking

Miss My Sad Thoughts

2 Comments

Some days I miss my sad thoughts. They are addictive. They fill a space in me and meet a requirement of comfort and familiarity. Humans require and seek a level of comfort and familiarity. The depressed human is no different. Sadly, it’s the sad thoughts that provide the deep level of comfort. When I remove the sadness, I have to work to replace that big open field of nothingness left. It feels hard. It feels like work. Pressure and effort. I want to fall back into the sad thinking because, I know very well how to form those thoughts and how to feel them. How to make use of them, strangely. They serve a strong purpose. They validate my depression and vice a versa. They have lived in me for so long that to have to fill the void of their space feel so hard. It feels like big shoes to fill. I feel pressed, just trying. My mind is having to accept this new training I am putting it through. It doesn’t want to change. It is not welcoming of these new positive thoughts at first. It is a struggle. My mind wrestles back and forth: ‘I just want to go home and go to my bed. No, no! You want to keep grocery shopping…! No, please, I just need to lie down, I’m leaving this group!! I am so depressed. No, no! You are going to do your task today, because, it will make you feel better.’ The better part of me wins and I refuse to be held captive, a victim to this negative dark thinking that is killing me. So, I continue on doing the grocery shopping with an internal mind struggle going on. The whole day seems to continue like this. The back and forth tug of war in my mind! It takes time to truly train the mind to accept the incoming positive thoughts. Affirmations are a needed daily medicine for the saddened mind for sure. It takes consistency. I ask myself how bad do I want to feel better? I continue to retrain my mind every single day. Slowly, I miss my sad thoughts less and less. I feel the need for the positive affirmations more and more. This is the process of healing the depressed mind and thus, my feelings. I look forward to a time where I will not miss my sad thoughts and the struggle between the positive and negative thoughts will not be such a big part of my day.”
Debra NC

“Slowly, I found the positive affirmations more and more and more.”

Copyright(c) Debra Sanford. A Medley of Depression Stories. First edition. (2017) PP> 30-31.( Used with permission.)

You may email Debra: [email protected]. She would love hearing from you.

Choice, Courage, Depressed Anonymous, Faith, Fellowship, Helpful, Helpful Thinking, Hope, Mutual Aid, Positivity, Suffering, Supportive Actions

Willingness to Take Baby Steps

Leave a comment

A common question in other 12 step fellowships is “Are you willing to go to any lengths to achieve recovery?” When thinking about willingness and my depression, I don’t know how well this applied to me. I mean, if I had the willingness to go to any lengths when I was in my deepest darkest depression, I would have just hopped out of bed, embraced the day, and ran a 5K! But that is not how it worked for me!
When I was in the depths of my depression, my willingness had gone out the door. “What was the purpose anyway?” I thought. I didn’t think I could get any better. But Depressed Anonymous showed me that there is hope, and there is a way out. For me, that path to recovery has been a series of baby steps. After coming to meetings, I saw people who were like me; people who really suffered from depression, and I saw that they were recovering. Once I had the realization that there was hope, I needed to ask myself a question. “Just for today, am I willing to take a baby step to help myself recover from depression?”
This was something that I could comprehend and that I thought might be possible. Yes, I can take a baby step and get out of bed. Yes, I can take a baby step and call someone from the fellowship. Yes, I can take a baby step and order the literature, then take another baby step and read a page of the literature. I can answer one question in the workbook today. Yes, I can do one little thing to help myself today!!
That is how my recovery began. That is how I climbed out of that 80-foot hole of depression-one baby step at a time. And the beautiful thing is that I don’t have to do it alone! Honestly, I don’t think I could have done it alone. I tried for years, and although I met with sporadic success, I inevitably fell back into that pit of depression. Today I have the DA fellowship surrounding me. I have a Higher Power. I have a sponsor and friends in the fellowship who help me along my path. I am also here to help others on their path to recovery. Today, I am grateful for the willingness to take baby steps.

Choice, Courage, Focus, Suffering

Unhelpful Comparisons vs. Helpful Comparisons

Leave a comment

We’ve all fallen into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. This is a losing game if there ever was one. You don’t know the struggles that the other person has gone through to get where they are now. Comparing yourself to others in an attempt to boost your own self-esteem degrades the other person’s worth. These are unhelpful forms of comparison. These forms of comparison create suffering in yourself and others.

Don’t compare your insides to somebody else’s outsides.
Slogan heard at a recovery meeting

What then is a helpful comparison (lessen the suffering in yourself and others)? The best way is to compare your current self and situation to an earlier incarnation of yourself. Have you improved or have you gotten worse over time? This is a comparison that provides you valuable information about yourself. This type comparison can show you how you have improved over time, that you are not stuck and stagnated in your present state. You do change, even if that change is slight.

To overcome the challenge of managing your depression stop comparing yourself to others and begin comparing yourself to your past self.

For further information on this please watch Dean Furness’s TED Talk To overcome challenges, stop comparing yourself to others on YouTube. https://youtu.be/IOrmS8vJDQw

Yours in recovery, Bill R

Depressed Anonymous, Despair, Helpful Thinking, Isolation, Negativity, Stinking Thinking, Suffering, Victim Thinking

Roadblocks and pitfalls in recovery

Leave a comment

I think sometimes people have the idea that recovery is a straight line angled upward with a positive slope.  For me, that is not the case.   My recovery is a conglomeration of sine waves, bumps, upward swoops, pot holes, and squiggly lines.  Overall, it does have a positive upward slope.  In other words, as the promises state, I have more good days than bad. Today, I have many more good days than bad.

But what to do on those bad days?  That is the question.  How do I navigate recovery when I am in a downward slope, have a roadblock or a pitfall?  How do I get through this period of mild depression?

First of all, I remind myself that This too shall pass.  It may sound cliché, but it is true!  If I am having a difficult day, I do not have to let it become a bad couple of days or a bad week.  I do not have to let it go to a moderate or severe depression.  Sometimes I can even limit it to bad moments.  The point is, this depressing feeling will not last forever.  I do have a choice to realize that it is temporary, to do something about it and not let it take over.

So what do I do about it?

The program gives me tools.  It’s up to me to use them.  Sometimes I have to pray for the willingness to use them.  The willingness to help myself undepress myself and stop being a victim.  When I’m in a pitfall, I feel alone and isolated. That is my disease talking to me.  The reality is that I’m in a program with people who understand me and care about me.  I can reach out to them and be honest about how I’m feeling.  This simple but sometimes difficult action really does help me a lot.  By telling on my feelings, I feel less isolated and more connected to others.   Another thing I do is journal to my Higher Power.  I tell my Higher Power what I’m thinking and feeling.  Sometimes I follow it up with journaling from my Higher Power to me.  This is the voice of truth.  This helps me to contradict those negative thoughts and see the truth as my Higher Power sees it.   When I’m in a slump, I’ve learned that it’s okay to be in a slump and to be kind and loving with myself through this period.  I’ve learned that my recovery is not a straight line upwards, and that it’s okay for me to have some squiggly parts and bumps in that recovery journey.  I can learn to give myself that same love and compassion that I would give another struggling person.  Another tool I like to use is the “way to go self” list.  When I’m in a slump, I focus on the negative, specifically those “I’m not good enough” statements.  I neglect seeing my positives.  So I make a list of my assets or those things that I am doing well, or those things that I am accomplishing.  And I’ll give myself double stars for doing something positive when I don’t feel like doing it – because that is extra difficult for me!  So by making a point to look at the positive things I am doing, it helps me gain clarity and see the positives.

To sum up, bumps in the road of recovery are part of the process for me today.  It doesn’t mean I’m bad or need to shame myself.  It means that life happens, and now I have an opportunity to use the tools this program gives me – IF I choose to do so.

Stacy S

Isolation, Judgment, Shame, Stinking Thinking, Suffering

The biggest disease…

Leave a comment

The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis, but rather the feeling of being unwanted.
– Mother Teresa

NOTICE: Whenever a blog post mentions an online meeting be sure to consult the page Online Depressed Anonymous Meetings for the most up to date and correct information. If the blog post is more than a few days old there is a chance it could be incorrect.

I wonder how many of us telling someone that we are depressed – they either have an immediate solution for us or they say they don’t want to hear about it anymore. Or, maybe we are too ashamed to admit – to anyone – that we are depressed. Whatever the situation, I believe that we can finally make a breakthrough – without feeling ashamed or unwanted and pushed away from both family and friends.

Well, there is a solution for you – and for me – I have found a group of friends – actually a fellowship of friends – who come together and share their stories and struggles with depression. By doing so, they hear how there is hope and recovery. And initially, the really big surprise, is that members of Depressed Anonymous want us to share our own story. When we do share our story, lo and behold, some of our story happens to be like everyone else’s story. They share with us a plan., A plan that holds promise of recovery for our own lives. The plan is called the Twelve Steps of Depressed Anonymous. This plan is modeled after the Alcoholics Anonymous program of recovery.

Initially, We all have felt alone and helpless. We all have felt that no one understands our pain, struggles and despair. This is so true if you have never felt depressed before. In fact, our sadness comes unannounced. It doesn’t send an email or warning that there is something that is about to swallow me alive. And like myself, it was only when I found myself being sucked down into that deep pit of aloneness – feeling no way out, that I found Depressed Anonymous. I admitted that I needed help.

At my first meeting, I knew that I was home. I felt welcome and a warmth from all the members of the fellowship. Even though I was a newcomer, I was welcome. They even told me to come to at least six meetings to see if this group was for me. Now I felt that I was wanted – that everyone was there to accompany me along this new path of hope and life.

If you want to know how to find the same help as I am finding, click onto www.depressedanon.com website and see what meetings are available to all those who are seeking hope. Presently, there are online International Skype meetings everyday of the week. Just sign on to https://join.skype.com/EfjQ2rGUOEPv and click onto the link. Also, click onto [email protected] for more assistance. I hope to see you at a meeting – soon.

Hugh, for the fellowship